Let's Hear it For the Boy
by Spookykat
Summary: After Kurt gets his heart broken by Sam, Mercedes had no idea that Matt's makeover would lead to...ahem, shall we say more blowing than drying?  s2 AU.  Matt never transferred, Dalton never happened, Sam was Kurt's first boyfriend, and he's evil.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:/ This is in response to the LJ Fluff Meme prompt **

Kurt sings 'Let's hear it for the boy' by Deniece Williams for Matt during glee. Nobody knew that they were together.

Much thanks to AdamPascalFan for the link to the prompt and suggestions!

* * *

At the beginning of his second year in New Directions, if anyone had looked into a crystal ball and told Kurt Hummel that he'd be in a secret relationship with Matt Rutherford, he would suspect you were either high or crazy, or both.

For one thing, around the third week of his junior year, he began to date Sam. Sam was his first. His first _everything_. There was a time when Kurt never thought he'd get over Finn, but all thoughts of Finn were out the window when he fell for Sam.

And he fall hard. He _really _thought that he was in love with Sam. But that relationship came and went as fast as a summer thunderstorm. It turned out that Sam just used Kurt to get to Finn, and by the end of the fall-out, a broken heart didn't even begin to describe the pain. Kurt's heart hadn't just been broken, it'd been steam-rolled, and, so, the second month of school was spent pining over Sam.

And Mr. Schue probably noticed, and in what was probably an attempt to help, had assigned Kurt and Mercedes a duet.

"Oh my GOD, Kurt, we _have _to do this song!" Mercedes was saying as Celine Dion's _My Heart Will Go On _began to play. "Come on, we'd both rock Celine like nobody's business, and you know it." Kurt just nodded. Mercedes obviously had decided it was time for a new approach because she added: "And I'll even let you have the high note."

But Kurt just stared blankly ahead and only acknowledged Mercedes' song choice with a monotone "Fine," as he pretended to concentrate on the road ahead.

Mercedes fell uncharacteristically silent, and Kurt knew that meant she was worried about him, probably wondering whether or not it was time to have him institutionalized.

"That wasn't y'all's song was it?" she asked with a guilty look on her face.

Kurt just shook his head, eyes still trained on the road.

Mercedes shook her head and let out a sigh of frustration. "There are other fish in the sea, Kurt. Sam's a fool for thinking he could just use you like that. And we all know Finn's an idiot, but he didn't deserve to get used by that jerk, either. He's a poser and now at least everyone knows it. And SUCH a dick for treating you the way he did, but if you think for two seconds that dude is worth wastin' tears over, you're a bigger fool than he is. And he sure as hell ain't worth givin' up a chance to do a Celine song."

"You've never had your heart broken," he said so softy she almost couldn't hear him over the radio.

"Excuse me?" she exploded. "You should say that again so I can make sure I heard you correctly. You think I don't know about that? Why? 'Cause I've never been in a relationship! That may be true, but Kurt, you've gotta realize…I'm a big black girl in a sea of white boys who won't give girls like me a second glance unless they want somethin' from me. It ain't like guys are linin' up at my door in this town. And it ain't like you're the first person to get a broken heart, either."

"I really loved him, 'Cedes…" he said, not even bothering to wipe tears away that were streaming unchecked down his face. "I mean, I had it bad for Finn, but this was different. I knew deep down I just…liked the _idea_ of Finn, but now I can't see him as anything but a brother. But with Sam….I'd never felt that way before."

"You'll feel that way again with someone else, Kurt…just wait."

"With _whom_, exactly?"

"Do I _look_ like a fortune teller to you?"

"It's just…he was the only other gay boy in Lima."

"There's always the internet," Mercedes said.

And for the first time ever_, The Internet is for Porn_ from _Avenue Q_ began to play through his iPod, and it didn't make him laugh.

* * *

Mercedes Jones was certain that it didn't take a genius to know that the whole Sam thing was going to be hard on her best friend. She might never have really had a relationship yet (that thing with Puck couldn't really count) but still, she knew what heartache was, and she also knew that Sam had hurt her best friend. Badly.

When he couldn't even put his heart into a Celine Dion number, though, she knew that the situation was dire. The wheels in her head were spinning. She knew he was hurting, but he needed a distraction. He needed a project, and while normally the thought of initiating a conversation with Rachel Berry was about as appealing as chewing on tin foil, she knew this was an emergency.

And desperate times called, of course, for desperate measures.

The only way to mend a broken heart was a project, and his favorite project?

A makeover.

She had the perfect candidate. Rachel Berry's fashion sense (or lack there of) could definitely use a touch of fabulousness that only Kurt Hummel could deliver, so she decided to give her best friend's frienemy a call.

But on the other end of the phone, Rachel was hearing none of it.

"I know what it's like to have your heart trampled on, Mercedes. I know what Kurt's going through. My first boyfriend used me, too…and he and his friends sacrificed baby chickens in the process. But Mercedes, if there is one thing I have learned through all of my trials last year is that I have to be true to who I am, wardrobe choices and all, regardless of whether or not the fashion police approve, and I will NOT put myself at Kurt's mercy again."

And with that she hung up, leaving Mercedes back at square one.

A week had come and gone. She knew that under the circumstances, her performance with Kurt wasn't going badly, exactly, but she knew that as he sang the words of song about eternal love, his heart just wasn't in it.

"Nice job, guys. Very nice." Mr. Schue said when they finished, "Kurt, I know she's not on your team, but you of all people know connection is key with a performance. You have to engage your audience. That song was good for you guys. It fit well in your ranges. Mercedes, you were over-singing a bit, but I understand why. Kurt, you need to work on your commitment to the song. We need to _feel _the words, not just _hear _them, no matter what's going on in our lives. We have to work on our numbers for the Western-Ohio All-Sing in a couple of weeks in Toledo, but Kurt, Mercedes, take your seats, I'll give you your assignments for next week."

They sat down, and Kurt's expression remained unreadable as Mr. Schue paused for them to all get out their notebooks.

"Next week is Risk Week. Life's not worth it without risks. Sometimes risks pay off," he said with a glance over at Finn, who grabbed Rachel's hand, sometimes they don't, he said with a sympathetic glance at Kurt. That's just how life is, but we can't gain anything in life without taking risks. Risks are what make life worth living."

Rachel's hand shot up.

With a sigh, Mr. Schue acknowleged it and everyone rolled their eyes. "So are we singing a song about risks, or are we taking risks with our song choices?"

Mercedes hated to admit it was a fair question.

"Good question," Mr. Schue replied, and seemed to think it over for a second. "Performers choice, Rachel. Now, let's head over to the auditorium. We need to work on our blocking."

If it wasn't for Finn's clumsiness, she might never have gotten the idea at all. It wasn't until an unfortunate accident on Finn's part with a drumstick that inspiration finally came.

Finn felt horrible about it. Nobody, least of all Finn, could say for certain how one of his drumsticks wound up in Matt's left nostril during _Born to Run_, but it did, and it was stuck pretty firmly, which put a stop to rehearsal for the time being while Mike tried a few twists until it finally came dislodged, but his nose was bleeding by the end of it and Mercedes knew that had to hurt.

"Mercedes, can you take him to the nurse's office?" Mr. Schue asked.

She had her victim, now it was time to go in for the kill.

Matt Rutherford was going to get a Kurt Hummel Signature Makeover if it was the last thing she ever did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for all the reviews/favorites/author alerts! It really is made of win to wake up to a flooded inbox! You guys are awesome!**

If there was one thing Matt Rutherford knew, it was that being gay made life in a small, mid-Western town in Ohio your own slice of hell. People were judged everywhere and labels followed you wherever you went, but in that particular corner of the world, pressure to be a normal, straight, corn-fed hick was ever-present.

But normal, as far as he was concerned, was just a cycle on the washing machine. Still, that didn't change the fact that he didn't want anyone (or, more precisely, everyone) exactly _aware_ of the fact that he wasn't exactly straight.

One plus of being the strong, silent type was that you weren't noticed, and therefore, not judged, so it wasn't so much that other people worried him when it came to his sexuality

He'd had the 'I'm gay' conversation with his best friend Mike Chang years ago. Mike had just said: "So, you want to be Mario or Luigi?"

The 'I'm gay' conversation with his parents, though, was a different story altogether. His dad had just given an indifferent nod as an indication that he'd been heard. His mom had asked him if he'd tried _not_ being gay, and although she dropped the subject when he informed her it didn't work that way, Matt was pretty sure that she chose to live in ignorant bliss.

But Matt hadn't even managed to come out to anyone else yet. The subject just never came up and he saw no need to advertise that fact the way Kurt Hummel did.

From the first day of Glee practice last year, Kurt intrigued him. He was different and wore that badge with pride, and part of Matt wished he could be that way, but the desire to be invisible won out over everything else, and he remained silent in the background as much as possible.

So when Mercedes approached him with what he'd begun to dub Operation: Defunkify, he didn't exactly say no, but he wasn't exactly looking forward to the weekend and all it would no doubt entail, either.

The bus wasn't leaving for Toledo until 2pm the next day, and unfortunately for Matt, this left plenty of time for a makeover. So after school on Friday, Matt made his way over to the Hudson/Hummel household, bracing himself for what was sure to be pure, unadulterated torture.

For one thing, he didn't really know either Kurt or Mercedes all that well outside of school, and while being third wheel to Ohio's answer to Will and Grace did not sound like fun, even worse was the possibility of what Kurt and Mercedes might do to him at the end of it. He _did_ see that Lady Gaga outfit after all (you had to be blind not to), and he was pretty sure he was going to have to put his foot down if powdered wigs were part of Kurt's plan.

Still, Kurt was Finn's step-brother-to-be, and after earfuls every football practice from Finn complaining about living with a very depressed Kurt (there was only so much whining about country music, sappy show tunes and marathons of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ one person could take), he was willing to do just about anything to shut his friend up, at least, that would be what he'd tell Finn and the rest of the guys if they asked later. And mostly, he knew Kurt needed this more than anyone, so he was willing to go with it. But in some small corner of his brain, were he being completely honest with himself, the idea of spending quality time with Kurt wasn't exactly…unappealing.

It was a mixed blessing, then, that Finn was otherwise occupied with Rachel. On one hand, it would've been nice to have Finn around to stick up for him, but on the other, the idea of Finn witnessing his impending transformation definitely had its upsides.

"He's here!" Mercedes called down as soon as he appeared at the door. She led him by the hand and then in a softer voice with a smile on her face, "Matt, just…thank you," she said, giving him a hug. "I'm worried about him. If you need anything in return, you just name it."

"Just um, don't let him put me in platform shoes, okay?"

"Deal. And let me just say…I still can't believe you actually speak."

"Why do people keep saying that?"

"Um…because for most of last year, I think we all kind of thought you were a mute."

Matt just shrugged, not quite knowing how to reply to that.

Matt fully expected to be led down into Kurt's basement like prey to a predator's lair, but much to his surprise, she led him upstairs.

"I thought Kurt lived in the basement?" he said as he followed her.

"I do," Kurt said, meeting them in the hallway.

"Then why aren't we down there?"

"First off, Oh Em, Gee, Mercedes, he DOES speak! Second, seriously? You should see the closet space down there. It's pathetic. There's barely enough room down there for accessories."

"_So that explains why Finn had to share your basement," _Matt mused. But aloud he just said: "Accessories?"

"How many more hours until we have to leave for Toledo?" Kurt asked Mercedes.

"It's 4:13, that doesn't give us much time," she said, consulting her phone.

"Twenty-two hours, give or take…no…not much time at all. Matt, you brought your overnight bag, right? Also, how do you feel about guy-lights?"

"Huh?"

"You know, highlights? But for a guy?" Mercedes supplied.

Matt nodded with a sigh, resigning himself to his fate. It was going to be a loooong weekend.

* * *

"Hands," Kurt said as soon as they entered the room.

The room itself was equipped with a large dressing-room sized makeup mirror with lights all around, a swivel chair like he remembered in the beauty parlor his mother would drag him to as a little boy, and even one of those deep sinks with a spot for your head that looked like it had been purchased second-hand from a beauty parlor as well.

"What?" Matt asked, not even bothering to count the bottles of skin and hair products neatly displayed on a shelf.

"Let me see your hands," Kurt said. Matt complied, and Kurt took Matt's hand, studying the fingertips and calluses. "Those cuticles are atrocious. Have these nails ever seen an Emory board?"

"A what?"

"Good GaGa, they've got so many creases in them…do you have a vitamin deficiency I should know about? Some Vitamin E ought to clear that right up."

Brittany had said his hands were soft, and she was right, it was like touching pure silk, but the sensation was short-lived thanks to Kurt's incessant berating of his grooming habits (or, as far as Kurt was concerned, lack thereof).

After a forty-five minute lecture on moisturizing, it took every ounce of restraint Matt had not to bolt for the door, but he could see the gleam in Kurt's eyes returning as he yammered on about the importance of SPF.

"SPF? I thought you only needed that for the summer."

Kurt let out a harassed sigh. "The sun is out year-round. If we don't take care of our skin now, we'll have wrinkles later. And we don't want to look like a Shar Pei by the time we're thirty-five now, do we?"

Matt could only shake his head in response as Kurt checked all of the supplies.

"Oh shit, Mercedes, I ran out of cream for my signature moisturizer."

"You want me to go to Wal-Mart for it while you prep him?" She suggested.

He tossed her the keys. "PLEASE! I'll let you pick the songs on the way to the outlet mall tomorrow!"

"Deal!" She replied, grabbing her bag as she headed up the stairs.

"Outlet mall?"

"Normally, I would buy direct online, but you need a full-length three-way mirror tomorrow, and that is the only piece of equipment I am sadly lacking. Next time I manage to save up a bit of money, though, it's totally mine."

Kurt filed away in awkward silence as a marathon on Bravo about bitchy, rich housewives blared in the background, and Matt kept thinking about how soft Kurt's hands were.

Kurt cleared his throat. "So, um, do you know what you're doing for the assignment on Wednesday?"

"Me? A solo assignment? Yeah…right. I'll leave that up to you, Rachel, Finn, and pretty much everyone else."

"Oh, that's right. You could sing _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star _and it would basically fit."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Matt demanded, and then winced as the nail clipper made contact with what was apparently his cuticle on his right-hand index finger.

"You should get up there on Wednesday."

"Um, no," he replied.

"Matt, I get stuck next to you in performances, so I'm one of the few people who've actually, I dunno, heard your voice. You're _good_, Matt. Really good."

Matt was sure his face was turning ten shades of red at the moment at the compliment. "Thanks," was all he could mumble.

"When I get through with you, girls will be falling all over themselves to get to you. Look at all the guys who've gotten girlfriends now thanks to Gleeclub. New Directions is hook-up central and you're the only one not getting a piece of the action. And you're in luck because I'm basically the resident cupid. I set my dad up with Carole, and now look at them!"

"You only set them up so you could get closet to Finn!" Matt protested.

"Oh right…but still…you have to admit they're kind of perfect for each other. Seriously…Matt! I could set you up."

"I don't know…" was all Matt could say. He couldn't bring himself to tell Kurt that it wasn't exactly the Gleeclub _girls _who interested him.

"Oh come on…Rachel's off-limits, but I'd never unleash her on you even if she was. Tina, too, but she doesn't seem like your type, anyway…"

'_You have no idea…' _Matt thought, but let Kurt praddle off names.

"Britt's gorgeous but she has the IQ of a jellyfish. And you've already made out with her. Santana's…well…Santana and I wouldn't wish _her_ on my worst enemy. Quinn's got too much baggage for a relationship. Hey, what about that new chick?"

"The religious one?" Matt said, making a face.

"Oh hell to the no…the other one!"

"Oh her! Um…"

"It's done. She'll be at your feet by this time next week. We just have to find the right song."

He wanted to tell Kurt that this wasn't what he bargained for. Makeovers were bad enough, but to be bullied into performing so he could get a girl he didn't even know well enough to bother learning her _name_? Not to mention...she wasn't even on his particular _menu_? But

"Kurt…" he began…but all he could say as he could practically see the wheels in the other boy's head turning was: "Sam shouldn't have done what he did."

"Aaaand good feeling gone. Thaaaanks."

"Sorry…" Matt replied lamely.

"Um, no. Really. What I meant to say…um…thanks."

And by Kurt's expression, he could tell that Kurt was just as relieved as he was that Mercedes had just pulled into the driveway, returning with the promised handcream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to Swing_Girl_at_Heart for brilliantly coming up with the idea that Santana should sing 'Be Italian' from 'Nine.'**

By noon on Friday, Will Scheuster still had a very important decision that needed to be made regarding the upcoming Invitational performance in Toledo: Rooming assignments.

Kids were kids, and there was nothing Will could do to stop that from happening, nor would he want to. But still, he also knew that teenagers plus hormones equals stupidity, and Quinn and Puck already proved how disastrous those consequences could be.

With all the drama surrounding Quinn's pregnancy and subsequent birth of her and Puck's baby and all the drama that ensued, he didn't want something like that preventing them from making Nationals this year or causing a major fall-out, resulting in the dissolution of the group. He knew if they didn't win at Nationals, it really _would _be the end, and he couldn't let that happen.

Some of them weren't difficult at all to put together. Finn and Kurt lived together. Mike and Matt were joined at the hip, as were Brittany and Santana. He knew Quinn had moved in with Mercedes until Quinn's mom made up with her at Regionals last year.

The rest of them though? To hell with who killed Jon-Benet Ramsey or the JFK Assassination. This was the only mystery that needed to be solved.

And soon.

So, for what seemed like the millionth time on Friday in the faculty lunchroom, he was pouring over rooming assignments. First thing he had to consider: the couples.

Finn and Rachel were still together with a capital T, almost to the point of being nauseating. Will wasn't exactly sure if Finn had still figured out the whole baby-making process, but he wasn't about to chance it. Although there was some tension between Tina and Artie lately over Mike spending time with Tina during rehearsal (something he couldn't help but feel a little responsible for), he still didn't altogether trust that the spark between them wouldn't be re-ignited.

Then there were the people that should NOT be in a room together if he didn't want to pay thousands of dollars in damages if an argument broke out.

He was glad Kurt and Finn were getting along now, because otherwise, he would've had to put Finn and Puck in the room. Finn was a good kid, but as the slashing of tires of the Vocal Adrenaline's vehicles proved last year, Finn was easily influenced, and Puck being the smartest one in the room was always a bad idea.

Rachel and the new exchange student, Kendra, declared war from Day One, and although they finally came to respect each other, he was fairly certain that cops would be called if they were forced to share the same living space, even if it was for only twelve hours.

Kurt and Sam had just recently broken up, and although Sam was good, Will was glad for the group's sake that the boy had ultimately left after it came to light that he'd just used Kurt to get to Finn. His performance with Mercedes the other day had proven to Will that it would be difficult to get Kurt to find the old spark again, but right now, he had bigger problems in his own love-life (or lack thereof) to worry about.

Like how to get Emma Pillsbury back.

But that was another problem for another day. For now, though, the immediate issue still hadn't been solved.

"Put Kurt and Puck in the same room," came a familiar voice from behind him.

Emma sat down across the table from him.

"It's Friday before the Invitational in Toledo. If I know you, you're still assigning rooms."

"Am I really that predictable?" he asked.

"Not always," she admitted. And was he imaging things or was she…blushing? That had to be a good sign.

"Why Kurt and Puck?" he asked, clearing his throat.

"Kurt and Puck don't hate each other, but Kurt's not going to let anything stupid happen. Put Artie with Finn. He and Tina still haven't gotten back together yet. He'll be depressed and won't let Finn have the room to himself so he can get…um…busy with Rachel. Artie comes to see me every other day now because of the whole Tina thing. I know, I'm not supposed to break confidence…but…you know, I think that warrants an exception."

"What do I do about Rachel?"

"Put her with Mercedes. Quinn with the new girl…what's her name again?"

"Um, Kendra," he answered, still bewildered by Emma's willingness to help him with the issue.

"So…Quinn with Kendra. Rachel with Mercedes. How do you feel about the performance."

"Well, I'd feel better if we got more time last rehearsal, but I think they're ready."

"I heard about Finn and the drumstick. You know, you should make him stick to the walking and singing. That's about as complicated as he can manage."

"He's gotten better though," Will said in Finn's defense.

"In what universe is a drumstick flying into someone's nostril an _improvement_?" Emma asked with a grin.

"Well, that wasn't his fault exactly. It just sort of…happened."

Will just gave her a shrug and they fell into an awkward silence as she ate her usual sandwich, hands shielded by plastic to avoid germs.

"So," he said clearing his throat. "How are things with Carl?" he couldn't help but adding a touch of venom to the tone when he mentioned Mr. Perfect. He expected Carl to be a fat, balding guy like the boyfriend she dumped at the alter. Because really, with a name like Carl, what else could he be?

But he wasn't. He was what his mother would've described as tall dark and handsome…and he was a dentist. Which meant he was _loaded_.How could he compete with that?

"Good," she said. "Really good. We're going away for the weekend next weekend," she finished, studying her lunchbox.

"I see…" Will said, unable to sound NOT pathetic. "Well, hope you have a great time."

He got up abruptly from the table and left, unable to see the point in carrying on the conversation any further.

Matt's suspicion that it was going to be a long weekend was proving to be truer than he ever anticipated, but things at least got entertaining after what Kurt had dubbed the pre-Makeover stage had been completed.

Kurt insisted on _Nine _which was the newest addition to his DVD collection. That wouldn't have really been his choice of movies, but he had to admit that he was surprised Kate Hudson could actually sing, and more surprised that Fergie's performance wasn't half-bad.

The movie was dazzlingly beautiful, but to call Daniel Day Lewis's numbers songs would be a stretch of the imagination. They were mostly chorographed monologues with orchestral accompaniment, and the singing and the dancing would've gotten old if it hadn't been for Kurt and Mercedes' converation throughout the film.

"Ok, if we don't get Santana to do _Be Italian_ soon, I'm going to have a fit." Kurt said.

"Santana's not Italian," Matt reminded him.

"Doesn't matter. Neither is Fergie."

Mercedes giggled when she checked a text on her phone, and Matt and Kurt both exchanged puzzled glances.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Mercedes said quickly, but Matt could see she couldn't keep the silly grin off her face, and she checked the message again, and fingers flew over the keyboard as she typed a reply to her Mystery Man.

"Come on, Baby-Girl. Spill!" Kurt insisted.

"Kurt!" she said, an embarrassed grin on her face.

Kurt bit his bottom lip and folded his arms, giving her this look that clearly said he was NOT giving up on the subject.

"Seriously, Kurt, it's NOTHING."

"You don't giggle like that over NOTHING," Kurt countered.

And then Matt got a text from Mike.

"So think we can get some one-on-one time tomorrow after the Invitational?"

"Um…we're probably going to be rooming together." Matt texted back as Kurt and Mercedes wrestled for her cell phone.

"Oh shit…wrong person, sorry Bro." came Mike's texted reply seconds later.

"Who was THAT meant for?" he texted back.

"Uh…nobody…" came the reply.

"You may be bigger than me, Baby Girl, but I'm quicker!" Kurt was saying on the other side of the room. "Hey, Matt! Some help over here!"

Mercedes squealed. "Hey Matt! Catch!" she said, and tossed the phone in his direction. It came down with a thud next to his feet and Matt picked it up, now curious as hell as to who the Mystery Man was.

The phone buzzed with notification of a new text message, and he recognized the number immediately.

It was Mike texting the message that he'd just sent him by mistake.

And suddenly, things were becoming a lot clearer. A LOT clearer.

The next morning found Matt in the backseat of Kurt's truck. The outlet mall in Dayton was a forty-five minue drive away, and it opened at nine, so they were up and out the door by eight, and Matt hoped that he'd at least get a chance to take a nap on the bus-ride to Toledo, because it was hard to sleep with Kurt and Mercedes talking the entire night about how things had started with Mike.

He had to admit that it was something he himself was slightly curious about, considering Mike didn't exactly divulge that bit of information to him. But then, they didn't exactly talk about relationship stuff, so it was understandable.

They weren't scheduled to leave for Toledo until 2pm, and it was a forty-five minute drive to the Outlet Mall. Mercedes, of course, insisted on shotgun, and he remained quiet as Mercedes and Kurt continued to plot how she and Mike could get some alone-time that evening.

"So Mike, you'll probably be his roommate," Kurt said, looking at him through the rear-view mirror. "What do you suggest?"

"Um…so now I'm being kicked out of my room? Loooovely."

"I never said that. But that IS a thought. Hey, the bus seats aren't uncomfortable."

"Forget it, Mercedes. I want to help…but that's not happening."

"Well, what if you just…decided to go for a little night-swim at a certain hour?" Kurt suggested.

"Yeah, Matt, we don't want the whole NIGHT. I'm not ready for THAT yet. We're just in the getting-to-know-you phase."

"Well, that should make Artie happy to get a chance at Tina again," Matt thought aloud.

Mercedes eyes grew wide at that. "Oh GOD. NOoooo, I DON'T want Tina and Artie, and then everyone else in the world all up in my business. You can't let anyone know. Matt…I'm serious. We're not even a 'We' yet."

Matt sighed, not thrilled with the idea of spending an entire weekend being third wheel, but getting used to the idea.

"Ok, fine…but you owe me, Mercedes. You owe me big."

Mercedes hid her face in her hands as Kurt sang "Mike and Mercedes, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

Matt just shook his head, wondering how he missed the fact that his best friend had a new girl.

Which of course meant that he'd be spending a lot of time alone in the near future. In the farthest corner of his brain, Matt hated the idea of being deserted, but mostly, he was just happy for Mike and tried to dwell on that rather than dreading the upcoming shop-a-thon that awaited him in his very near future.

Kurt treated shopping as though it were an Olympic event.

"A good shopping trip is all about strategies and planning. It's about finding basics that we can use as wardrobe-builders."

"What's wrong with jeans and a t-shirt?" Matt asked, but immediately regretted it when Kurt's voice reached the High F register.

"What's wrong with jeans and a t-shirt?" He echoed. "What's wrong with jeans and a t-shirt is that it COMPLETELY lacks imagination. It looks like you just rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing you could lay your hands on."

"And that's wrong because…"

"Because that whole 'clothes make the man thing'? Soooo completely true." He paused to pick up some printed shirts with dress-shirts. "What do you think Mercedes. Can he pull off pink?"

"I don't know, Kurt…it wouldn't wash him out, but pastels wouldn't really do him justice," she said.

"What about leather pants?"

'Leather pants?' Matt thought, remembering the _Friends _episode where one of the characters had issues getting out of them and wishing like hell he hadn't gotten himself into this mess.

"Turn around, Matt," Mercedes said. "Let me see that ass."

Matt rolled his eyes, feeling a bit like a piece of meat, but complied.

"Oooooh, you could bounce a quarter off that thing. Definitely could pull it off."

Matt thought it was odd that Kurt had been silent for a while.

"Um…Kurt, can I turn around now?" he asked.

"Uh-huh," was all Kurt said, and cleared his throat.

"Now…if you're going to DO jeans, it's important that you find ones that fit…"

It had been two hours of shopping. Each look was something Matt would've never have picked for himself, but he hated to admit, he looked _good_. And judging from the way Mercedes and Kurt's stunned expressions, they thought so too.

People would turn their heads as he came out of the dressing room to show them different looks. Perhaps he looked…a little too good. He would be noticed dressed the way Kurt had him dressed, for sure if the people in the store were any indication.

But Matt really liked not being noticed.

"I think we ought to get that burgundy courdory jacket for you, too. It'd look perfect with those slacks. You're definitely a winter."

"Matt, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you for putting up with all of this. I've got MY Kurt back again," she told him as he scampered off to get the jacket.

"Listen, Kurt, Mercedes, I really appreciate what you're trying to do here. I really do…but this…just isn't _me_."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt said, a panicked look on his face. "Matt, you looked…" Kurt paused as he struggled for the right word. "…perfect." And then he added quickly. "I know Kendra would've agreed."

"I _like_ blending in. I _like _being in the background. And I'm not about to change who I am just so some girl will notice me. Look, guys, let's just go home. We're about to be late for the bus."

"Alrighty then," Kurt said with a sigh, and Mercedes just gave him an evil glare.

It was going to be a long ride back to Lima. And the trip to Toledo wasn't going to be fun, either.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks, once again, to the lovely AdamPascalFan for all her help with this and also to everyone else for the lovely reviews/alerts/favorites!**

Although the bus wasn't leaving until 2pm, Will instructed everyone to be at the front of the school half an hour before for role-call and rooming assignments.

"Alright everyone! Rooming assignments! No switching! Everyone stays with the person they were assigned with," he said with a pointed look at Rachel and Kurt, "whoever that might be. Basic ground rules: No alcohol," he said with a pointed look at Puck, handing the rooming assignments list to Rachel, who began passing them around to everyone else.

Mike and Matt high-fived each other when they saw their names together as usual.

"Hey! Just because I spiked the punch ONCE…" Puck began, but Will didn't let him finish that sentence. "Girls stay with girls, boys stay with boys. That means you, Kurt."

"Tina, when we get there," Rachel began, "I'll make up a bathroom schedule for showers and assign drawer usage. It'll be great!"

"Yay," Tina replied dryly, turning around so she could avoid any chance of contact with either Artie or Mike.

"Finn," Rachel continued, oblivious to Tina's less-than-thrilled reaction to her plan, "we're going to have to synchronize our clocks. There will be a covered pool, and I think that might be the only place we can get some time to ourselves."

"Covered pool!" Mike asked. "Awesome!"

"Don't worry Finn," Rachel said. "I'll simply come up with a new plan on the way there."

"Why don't we just…let things happen?" Finn suggested.

Finn and Rachel melted into each other's gaze and Kurt thought he'd just thrown up. In his mouth.

"Boys in the boys' rooms, girls in the girl's room. This means you, Kurt."

"Try any of that kinky shit on me tonight and you'll live to regret it," Puck warned, confusing the hell out of Kurt who hadn't even bothered to check the rooming assignments yet.

"When am I going to...nevermind that, WHY would I…?" he began, but then realized the reason for Puck's warning when he noticed his name next to Puck's on the rooming assignments.

"Oh hell to the no, Mr. Schue!" he began. "This has to be a mistake!"

"No mistakes, Kurt. Everyone stays where they're assigned. And if anyone is caught switching," he said, eyeing Kurt and Rachel, "solo privileges will be taken away for two months."

"TWO MONTHS!" Rachel and Kurt squeaked simultaneously.

"I don't think I need to say that we don't need to be distracted by drama," Will said. "But let's get up there tonight and do what we do best and show them all what we're made of. Finn, you replaced your drumsick, right?"

Finn nodded sheepishly.

And as Mr. Schue closed the door of the bus and started down the road towards the highway that would take them to Toledo, Kurt took his usual seat in front of Mercedes as he prepared himself for what was possibly going to be the longest twenty-four hours of his life.

Kurt shook his head as he caught Mercedes looking in Mike's direction for what had to be the fifteenth time in twice as many minutes, and then of course try as he might to forget about how much of a tool he'd been only hours earlier, but he couldn't.

Matt Rutherford was a nice guy. One of the nicest guys on earth, in fact. Seriously, how many people tell you that they were sorry for what another boy did to you? That was probably why he'd allowed the makeover to happen to begin with, but you had to have a lot of respect for anyone who needed to stay true to themselves, and nobody knew about that better than Kurt did. And what did he do? He forced his opinion on Matt, trying to mold him into someone he wasn't. Kurt wasn't just over-stepping his bounds, he was stomping all over them and pounding them into oblivion.

And oh my GOD Mercedes was right. It was the kind of ass that made you thankful to be alive. And he wouldn't have even seen that if Matt hadn't been such a good guy and let himself be made over into something he didn't even want to be.

Not that Matt even NEEDED a makeover. He unconsciously ran his fingers over his nails as he remembered the feel of Matt's hands in his own as he gave the other boy a manicure. It was true that he wasn't the most well-groomed individual around, but his hands were big and sturdy, reflecting the same quiet confidence that made Matt…well…Matt.

And this was a road he definitely did NOT need to go down. Matt was straight. Straight as an arrow. And well, so was Finn, and Kurt already knew how well_ that_ turned out.

And that ass certainly didn't help the situation either.

"You're awfully quiet," Mercedes observed allowed.

"Yeah, well…just not in a talkative mood I guess," Kurt said.

"Well, that's too damn bad, because I still need to figure out how I'm going to get some alone-time with Mike."

"We need to come up with Plan B, because I don't think Matt's going to be helpful to our cause anymore," Kurt said lamely, cursing himself again for being…well…him.

"Look, it's not _your_ fault he doesn't care about being fabulous. You were trying to help him, and he just…didn't take it. And it's not like he was even mad about it. He just stood his ground."

"I know," Kurt said, sneaking what had to be his fourth glimpse at the boy already. "I've just gotta figure out how to apologize."

"Um, it's not that hard," Mercedes said. "Two words and it's done."

Kurt was about to explain that it was so much more complicated than that, that he really didn't mean to waste Matt's Friday night like that and if he wanted to just hang out with he and Mercedes sans makeover one weekend soon, well, that wouldn't be objectionable.

And did he just ask Matt out for a non-date in his head?

"_Stupid idiot,"_ he told himself, hitting his head against the back of the seat in front of him, which he just realized was empty. A glance over his shoulder told him that Mercedes had taken residence in front of Mike Chang, and Matt… _'Shit…'_ he cursed to himself as his own eyes locked with Matt's brown ones. Matt was noticing he was looking at him_. "Stupid!" _he said again. "_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"_ he said again, looking away as quickly as humanly possible.

He barely even noticed that he was no longer alone.

"Kurt," came a voice that, more often than not, sent him running in terror. "It has come to my attention that you've just been through a harrowing ordeal."

'_And to top things off, now Rachel has me cornered.'_ Kurt thought, but just nodded disinterestedly.

"You realize that I've been through a similar experience. And I've come to understand that we are rivals because of one very simple fact."

"I hate your guts?" he said, but she, much to his dismay, chose to ignore that.

"I'm going to forgive you for that, Kurt, because you are going through a trial right now, and who better to sympathize with hard times than someone who has been through a similar experience? That, and coupled with the fact that you are the only one in glee who comes even half-way close to matching my level of talent and charisma, I feel that's the reason we butt heads as often as we do. But Kurt, we are the same people, you and I. The same drive, and because of the way society views us…"

'_Yeah, but the big difference between you and I is that between you and an apocalypse, I'd pick the apocalypse,'_ Kurt wanted to say, but resigned himself to his fate.

"…we face the same adversity," she continued, barely pausing for breath let alone to notice the glazed look that began to take up residence in his eyes. "And, as luck would have it, have faced similar heartache. You and I both know what it's like to be used by people whom we loved. Do you know what I've discovered, Kurt?"

"What?" Kurt said with a sigh.

"That the only way to conquer the pain is to use it to help others. I found that the song-stylings of the great Stephen Sondheim really helped me in my time of sorrow."

'_Sondheim? Really? That's your advice?' _he wanted to say, but kept his mouth shut, trying to give Mercedes a look that clearly expressed his desire to be rescued, but there was only one person on the bus at that moment that had _her_ attention.

"This CD I've found extremely cathartic," she told him, resting it next to him on his seat before thankfully, and at long last, getting up. "Raúl Esparza's portrayal of Bobby in this Revival Cast Recording is nothing less than a religious experience. I just have to say, he was SO ROBBED at the 2006 Tony's, but we all know that the great ones are never acknowledged during their lifetimes." She smiled. "I think we bonded."

'_Only if your definition of bonding includes prison rape,' _he thought as he chucked the CD in his bag.

But on the other hand, he hadn't heard the revival cast recording yet. He did like the performance that Esparza gave on the Tony Awards four years ago, and he fast-forwarded to the show's title number.

Raúl Esparza's voice began to sing through his headphones and he closed his eyes and listened.

_Someone to hold you too close,_

_Someone to hurt you too deep,_

_Someone to sit in your chair,_

_To ruin your sleep._

_Someone to need you too much,_

_Someone to know you too well,_

_Someone to pull you up short_

_And put you through hell._

_Someone you have to let in,_

_Someone whose feelings you spare,_

_Someone who, like it or not,_

_Will want you to share_

_A little, a lot._

_Someone to crowd you with love,_

_Someone to force you to care,_

_Someone to make you come through,_

_Who'll always be there,_

_As frightened as you_

_Of being alive,_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive_.

_Somebody, need me too much,_

_Somebody, know me too well,_

_Somebody, pull me up short_

_And put me through hell_

_And give me support_

_For being alive,_

_Make me alive._

_Make me confused,_

_Mock me with praise,_

_Let me be used,_

_Vary my days._

_But alone is alone, not alive._

_Somebody, crowd me with love,_

_Somebody, force me to care,_

_Somebody, make me come through,_

_I'll always be there,_

_As frightened as you,_

_To help us survive_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive,_

_Being alive!_

And Mr. Schue's words at practice last Wednesday came back to him in a flood. _"Life's not worth it without risk." _It had all the originality of a Hallmark card, but still…Mr. Schue had a point.

This was a song that was all about taking a risk.

Kurt nearly stood up in his seat when he finally figured it out. Who was a genius? He was!

This was how he'd apologize to Matt. He didn't know Kendra all that well, but Kendra didn't get along with Rachel, so that was good enough for him. Even if Kendra wasn't won over (which he didn't know how he wouldn't be, Matt was a great catch) Matt deserved his chance to show everyone that he was worth the spotlight, too.

That settled it.

This was it!

This was the song.

The one he'd get Matt to sing to Kendra!

He just had to figure out a way to convince Matt. And to do that, he'd have to apologize for earlier that morning.

Now all he had to do was set his plan in motion. The stars would be in line, and all would be right with the world.

* * *

"Being Alive" is written by Sondheim. Duh!


	5. Chapter 5

Matt was pretty sure he belonged at the top of the Worst Persons in the World list at that very moment. This, of course, was solidified by the fact that Kurt Hummel had just glared at him for what had to have been the fourth time.

Matt sighed and leaned his head against his seat. He wasn't sorry that he didn't let Kurt make him over. Wasn't sorry at all, but he should've just said 'No' when Mercedes approached him in the first place.

The truth was, though, he _did_ have fun the night before. A lot more fun than he thought he was going to have. Kurt was surprisingly fun to be around when he wasn't depressed or in full-on diva mode. And damn, Kurt Hummel _was _easy on the eyes, after all.

And those hands…those velvety-soft hands. And Matt couldn't help but appreciate the view when Kurt bent over once to pick something off the floor. Mercedes, who'd been absorbed in texting Mike, thankfully didn't notice, but he had to stop the fantasies in their tracks from taking over as he drifted off to sleep to the sound of Mercedes and Kurt talking and laughing.

Because even though Kurt might've batted for his team, that didn't necessarily mean that Kurt was interested in _him_. Kurt wasn't exactly Mr. Subtle when it came to expressing attraction, and even if that were remotely a possibility, Kurt had just had his heart broken. He was still on the rebound from Sam. Although Kurt had come back to life a little the night before, from the looks of things, he was back at square one in the break-up recovery process.

And he, Matt Rutherford, Official Worst Person in the World, was the reason why.

He could've just gone along with it. He could've brought the clothes home and then took them back later, and that would've been the end of that. Kurt thought he was doing him a favor. Kurt _was _doing him a favor. And what did he do? He threw it back in Kurt's face. 

Mr. Schue pulled in to a Truck Stop for bathroom breaks and gas, and Matt knew that this was his chance. But Kurt had either somehow developed the ability to become invisible, or he was really good at avoiding, because Matt didn't see Kurt at all until they were back on the bus and on the way to the performance.

Matt didn't know how, but he had to set this right. Just _had_ to. He couldn't stand the thought of Kurt hating him. One way or another, he would apologize to the boy if it was the last thing he ever did.

The performance went well. Amazingly well, in fact. Despite the fact that last rehearsal had ended abruptly by the fateful drumstick incident, nobody missed a step, everyone was pitch-perfect, and their positive energy permeated the theater. Finn was on drums for most of the time, which meant his usual awkwardness when it came to doing anything more than walking and singing at the same time didn't cost them at all. Kurt could feel the energy on stage and he knew the audience did, too. They were on fire that night and when the last song was done, Kurt knew they'd won the whole thing.

And without thinking, he smiled over at Matt who was standing next to him. Although given the whole makeover debacle, Kurt had tried to avoid him the best he knew how, but the smile was a natural extension of the euphoria that came with a great performance. He probably would've smiled at Puck if it'd been him instead of Matt.

And then the impossible happened.

Matt smiled _back_.

And it seemed like…a _relieved_ smile.

He had to be misinterpreting things.

Of course, Kurt thought that it could've been relief that the performance had gone so well. That had to be it. Because why on _earth _would Matt have that look on his face?

Kurt had been trying to find a way to apologize to Matt ever since they got on the bus so he could set his plans to get Kendra interested in Matt in motion, but after being caught staring at Matt for what had to be the gazillionth time, every time he started to apologize in his head, it just sounded like awkward, hopeful flirting, the way he used to be around Finn. And he couldn't go down that road again, not with Matt, so Kurt avoided him at all costs.

And there was the cheer that erupted from the crowd, and the end of the show when New Directions had been announced as the winner. They'd remained in their blocking positions in their seats. Kurt turned to his right to hug Quinn, and almost forgot himself and went to hug the person on the other side, but then remembered.

The person on the other side of him was Matt…and a hug? Right now? Even if it was perfectly innocent? Soooo not happening.

He settled for a handshake. Matt returned it half-heartedly, and the look on the other boy's face was enough to make his stomach turn inside out. The spell had been broken. The good feelings from the win were replaced by the awkwardness that almost paralyzed him.

And once again, Kurt felt like a complete and total tool. Matt didn't deserve that kind of treatment. And he hated that things were now weird between them because he, Kurt, once again, was developing a definite attraction for yet _another _straight guy. Clearly, there was something wrong with him. Clincally wrong.

He needed to get his head examined. One straight guy, fine…it was a fluke. It was a cruel, unpleasant, ill-fated fluke brought on by the fact that Finn was both a representation of what he wanted to be and someone he couldn't possibly have. But _two_?

And the list of things Kurt had to apologize for was growing longer and longer.

'Where the hell are you, Kurt?' came Mercedes' text as soon as they made their way to the restaurant before dinner.

'Just had to stop off at the room. Be there in a few. Save me a seat," he texted back.

Kurt couldn't stand it. After years of torture in public restrooms, his phobia for them had finally come to an all-time low, but men's rooms were among the most disgusting places on earth, and he wasn't about to be caught coming out of the women's restroom in a diner.

It would've been so much easier if he could just be normal and use the men's room like everyone else who peed standing up, but the Denny's was across the street from the Holiday Inn where they were staying, and he hadn't even moisturized since Lima.

And when he finally joined him at the restaurant, Mercedes was absorbed in conversation with Mike, and only seat available was at the end of the table.

Right next to Matt.

'Oh, this is going to be fuuuuuun,' Kurt thought, but waved a 'hello' in the general direction of the table.

"Kurt," Mr. Schue finally said as the waitress began setting plates down in front of everyone else, "So glad you could join us. That rule about not getting separated from the group applies to you, too."

"Oh please, like I was going to use the restrooms here. I just went across the street to the hotel! And besides, that wasn't exactly a technical rule."

"Just don't do it again," Mr. Schue warned. Kurt nodded and took the last seat available.

"Is the coffee as hot as you are?" Puck was saying to the waitress as they refilled their drinks. She rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Kurt.

"You know he's hit on me three times," she told Kurt jerking her head in Puck's direction. "Is he always like this?"

"Yes," Matt and Kurt chorused in unison.

"What'll you have, sugar?" she asked Kurt.

"Just get me a salad, please with oil and vinegar dressing on the side?"

She nodded.

Matt and Kurt both shot each other nervous looks.

Kurt just wanted to wolf his salad down and go back to the hotel as soon as possible.

"So," Matt said, looking down at his plate.

"So." Kurt replied.

Matt cleared his throat.

Kurt turned off his phone.

"I'm sorry," they both said in unison.

And they both laughed.

"Are you kidding me?" Matt blurted out, wiping tears from his eyes. "What the hell do you have to be sorry for?" he said through peels of laughter.

"Oh you know…the whole makeover thing. I shouldn't have forced my opinion on you like that. You don't…" _need a makeover_, he was going to say but decided not to chance it with anything that could be interpreted any other possible way. "I should've just left you alone."

"No no no," Matt said. "Look, I really did appreciate what you were trying to do. I should've followed your advice."

"So let me make it up to you," Kurt said as the waitress put his salad in front of him.

"Make it up to me? No, Kurt…you really don't…"

"Matt. I'm not taking no for an answer. You're getting set up with Kendra. She's perfect for you."

At Matt's hesitant look, Kurt said "When you guys live happily ever after, you'll thank me for it."

Matt sighed, unable to tell Kurt that Kendra wasn't exactly the kind of person he could see himself having a life with. But Kurt had put his fork down and got his iPod out of his pocket.

"Here," he said, handing one of the earbuds to Matt.

Hesitantly, Matt took it. "Don't worry, I just sanitized it."

"You're the only one of us who's a germophobe," Matt said with a grin. "Oh hey, I know this song!" he said.

"I can't believe you know _Company!"_

"I know it. Didn't say I liked it. My sister played Marta in the High school production of this her Junior year. Guess who went every single night?"

"Oh come on, _Being Alive_ is perfect for you."

"I don't think I can hold notes out that long. Besides, I don't know how this is supposed to make me win over a girl."

"It's just a matter of projection." Matt suppressed a laugh at that. The last thing he wanted to do was piss Kurt off again, so he let Kurt continue to talk a mile a minute.

"Matt, I can help you with that part. And as for Kendra, don't worry. I can start planting ideas in her head on Monday. Or better yet! On the bus on the way back tomorrow! I'll get Mercedes in on it, too. By Wednesday, she'll be ready to have your babies."

"Uh, I think Mercedes' attention is only for one Glee member right now," Matt said with a nod in her and Mike's direction when she laughed just a little too loudly at one of his jokes.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "They were texting all weekend."

"Try sexting," Matt said.

"Then we'd better hurry back if we want an uninterrupted voice lesson," Kurt said.

Matt sighed. There was absolutely no way out of this. Kurt was going to set him up with Kendra and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

_Just tell him the truth, _a nagging voice told him in the back of his head.

But what good would that do? He'd look like he was just being an ass again and Kurt would never speak to him again. But if Kurt had his way, which he usually did, Matt realized he was playing scenarios over and over in his head, trying to figure out how he was going to let Kendra down without her finding out his big secret.

Either way, there was no way out.

No way out at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Matt hated singing in front of people. And singing in front of Kurt? Who could _really_ sing? A football field and a crowded stadium was nothing, but this? This was absolute hell.

"_Someone to hold you too close," _Matt began tentatively. He was so nervous his legs were shaking, and trying to hold a steady tone? That was next to impossible. _"Someone to hurt you too deep. Someone to sit in your chair and ruin your sleep and make you aware of being alive…" _

Matt sighed. "Kurt…this is going to work, HOW exactly?"

"Matt, you have a great tone-quality. Just concentrate on the technique and the nerves will go away."

"I don't know anything about technique," Matt said.

"See, that's what I can help you with," Kurt said. "Now, sing the phrase again, but on 'La' this time, only now, concentrate on the phrasing. It's like…" Kurt bit his lip. "It's like foreplay. You want to build slowly…reach the climax, and then…" he sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable aren't I?"

Matt coughed. '_Uncomfortable's not the word I'd use,' _he thought, but just shook his head.

"So, as I was saying," Kurt said, clearing his throat. "sing the phrase on 'la,' this time, concentrating on the phrasing," Kurt said.

Matt did as he was told, and although he couldn't tell that he'd done anything differently, Kurt still encouraged him. "Much better! Big improvement! Ok…with the words this time using that phrasing."

"Now, I want you to sing with your diaphragm."

"Huh?"

"Ok…there's this muscle…between your stomach and your rib cage…" he took Matt's hand and Matt couldn't really feel anything but the softness of Kurt's hands again, but he nodded. "Now, tell me if this gets too weird." _Little late for that,_ Matt thought wryly, but let Kurt continue.

And then Kurt pressed Matt's hand against his own rib cage like it was the most natural thing in the world. The softness of Kurt's hands coupled with the firmness of his body, and Matt could hear his heart pounding in his own chest, but was pretty certain that blood was beginning to circulate _elsewhere_ in his body.

'_Someone to need you too much_

_Someone to know you too well_

_Someone to pull you up short_

_And put you through hell_

_And give you support_

_For being alive"_

"See how my diaphragm moved when I took those breaths?"

'_Keep it together Rutherford, keep it together…it's just a voice lesson…' _Matt repeated to himself over and over again, really hoping that he wasn't being well…obvious.

"Ok, now, sing the next verse, same tune, just different words this time…and I want you to concentrate now on using your diaphragm. Remembering your phrasing, I want you to put power behind it this time."

"Um, I'll need the lyrics," Matt said.

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes and folded his arms, perching himself on one of the beds. " 'Someone you have to let in, someone who's feelings you spare, someone who, like it, or not, will want you to share a little a lot, that's being alive,'" Kurt quoted in a monotone.

Matt sighed. "This is so stupid. I can't believe I'm wasting your time like this…it's not going work, Kurt. I'm sorry, I just…"

"Matt, it's been fifteen minutes and you've already reeeally made big improvements. I'm not giving up on you that easily. But if you want to quit…" he said, jumping off the bed and heading for the door.

"No…I guess we can work on this a little more…"

"Good!" Kurt said, grinning broadly and returning to his perch on the bed.

"Now… 'Someone you have to let in…'" he prodded, singing the tune. Matt sang along. Before he knew what was happening, Kurt was behind him. His arms were wrapped around his waist. He'd brought Matt's hand up to his ribcage and while holding it there, he continued to sing softly in Matt's ear. Matt's breath hitched. Every fiber of his being was on fire.

" 'Someone to crowd you with…'" Kurt began, but stopped, backing away and recoiled. "I'm sorry…I guess I just…I'm so…" he sighed again. "I've done it again, haven't I? Made you uncomfortable, I mean. You'll be great on Wednesday. Kendra's going to love it," he rushed out. "So I'm just going to…" he sighed again, unable to look Matt in the eye. "I'll just go."

Matt wanted to tell him to stay. Matt wanted to tell him for the millionth time that night that he didn't want to be set up with Kendra at all, and he sure as hell didn't want to _sing _to her. Most of all, Matt wanted to say it wasn't Kendra he wanted at all. That the one he wanted was standing right in front of him, but there was no way in hell Kurt _returned _those feelings. And to risk rejection? He'd rather have the fantasy than have the possibility be crushed to bits, so he kept his mouth shut.

And Kurt walked out the door.

"Fuck," Matt muttered.

"You think he's asleep?" he could here Mercedes asking on the other side of the door a few minutes later.

He let them in. "No, I'm not asleep."

"Dude…you okay?" his best friend asked. "You look a little…rough…"

"I'm fine," Matt grumbled and left Mike and Mercedes alone, making his way to the 7-11 across the street, hoping to score some alcohol.

Because a good buzz wasn't going to fix his problem, but at least it was better than what he was feeling right now.

He managed to get some college guys to get him a six-pack. He made his way out to the covered pool and was surprised to find it deserted, but popped open a can and sat back in one of the lounge chairs, and looked up at the stars through the glass.

* * *

Kurt felt tears stinging his eyes as he made his way back to his room. How stupid could he possibly be? Matt. Was. Straight. And that was the end of that.

"Stupid!" he said for the second time in twenty-four hours, kicking his toe agains the railing. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! OW!" That was going to leave a mark. Maybe it would be a reminder that he shouldn't do things like put himself in a position to make guys like Matt be afraid of guys like him.

There was only one thing to do now, and it was late anyway.

He made his way back to his room and knocked. "Puck?" he said softly, wondering if Puck had already drifted off to sleep himself. Hearing no answer, he used the key-card and made his way to the room.

And then was hit with a face full of bra.

"Foreign babes are soooo hot," Puck was saying.

"Did someone come in?" a familiar Phillipina female accent came from one of the beds. _'Kendra?' _he realized.

And flinched and made a face as her bra landed around his neck, tossing it on the ground with a look of disgust and horror. He snuck out as quickly and quietly as possible, hoping neither of them noticed.

'_Well…there goes THAT plan…' _ Kurt thought with a sigh, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaning against the wall. There was nowhere to go.

Except the covered pool.

He made his way down to the ground level.

He was greeted by the sight of a slightly-familiar form sitting in one of the lounge-chairs, but it was so dark he couldn't really tell who it was. He turned on the switch.

"Matt?" he asked when he saw who it was.

Matt blinked. "Kurt?" he echoed. "Is that you?"

* * *

"Um, I'll just go…"

Matt laughed. "Kurt, seriously...stay. Chill." He popped a can off of the six-pack of Miller Lites and offered Kurt a can. Two cans of the sixpack were already gone. "Have a beer."

"I hate beer."

"Have you ever h_ad_ a beer?"

"NO!"

"Well then, now's as good a time as any to try one."

Kurt sighed. Why was he putting himself through this? It was bad enough with Finn, but Matt?

But what could he do? He sighed and pulled up a lounge chair and with a pop, opened the can of beer and took a sip and made a face.

"It tastes like pee."

"You don't drink beer for the taste."

Kurt took another sip.

"You get used to it."

He and Matt clicked cans.

"What are we toasting to?" Kurt asked.

"To friendship? To a great performance today? Hell if I know…"

"Look, I was pushing my opinion onto you yet again, and I apologize," Kurt began. "If you don't' want to be set up with Kendra, just tell me."

"Oh, thank GOD!" Matt said. "I DON'T want to be set up with Kendra."

"But I still think you should sing on Wednesday."

"Oh, no way…no way in HELL…"

"Seriously, Matt, you're GOOD. You deserve the spotlight." He took another sip and took a deep breath. "You deserve…someone awesome."

"I like the work. I like to do what I like to do, and I'm just happy doing it. I don't need the spotlight like you. I don't want it. I'll leave the spotlight for the Rachels and…Kurts of the world. Kendra's not my type anyway."

"Well, that's good. She was making out with Puck when I came in my room."

"Fucking hell…Puck!" Matt cursed to nobody in particular. "Mike's got a similar idea…with Mercedes…"

"MY Mercedes? You better tell Mike that if he hurts her, he'll have one Kurt Hummel to answer to…"

"I know, right? Looks like we're stuck here awhile."

"That's what it looks like," Kurt said, taking another swig of his beer.

Matt took a deep breath. "Kurt, I'm not like Finn, or Puck or Mike, even."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Kurt…" he said taking a huge gulp of the last of his beer and standing up to stomp it into the ground. "I'm gay."


	7. Chapter 7

"Um, I don't know if this is the best conversation for us to have right now," Kurt said.

"Like I'm going to talk about this with Mike, or Finn, or any of the other guys. I mean, I've got a bit of a buzz going but I'm not _that _drunk."

"How long have you known?"

"Since I was a kid, I guess. I mean, I didn't like Barbies or anything like that. I went to Monster Truck tournaments and I'm not a big fan of showtunes…"

"I've noticed…"

"What do I do now?"

Kurt shrugged. "That's pretty much up to you."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Kurt just sighed. "It doesn't mean you have to change who you are or anything. I'm pretty much a walking stereotype…and you know, it does kind of bug me sometimes that people think I do things just for attention. The ways I choose stand out aren't for attention….just for me. I do them for me." Kurt continued to stare at the lights dancing on the pool as he talked, unable to believe what he'd just heard.

So Matt was gay. _THAT _had definitely explained why he'd been so hesitant to be set up with Kendra. But, Kurt realized, as new hope began to well up at the revelation, it didn't necessarily mean that Matt was interested in _him_. Just probably wanted some advice or something.

"Why show-tunes, though?" Matt asked. "I mean…musicals don't even make sense!"

"My grandmother took me to see a production of _Phantom_ in New York, when I was a kid, and I had to find everything Andrew Lloyd Webber ever wrote. When I discovered Sondheim…"

"Sondheim?"

"You know…the guy who wrote _'Being Alive…'_

"Oh."

"I thought it was the coolest thing in the world because those shows used violence and gore and sex and cusswords, but when I met Rachel Berry, she was the only one who understood me, and that was a terrifying thought. And then there was_ Rent. _Matt, this may sound really, really stupid, but I understood how shows could make you feel before, but I had no idea what shows could DO, how they could touch your life, how they could change people. It was like someone had just given me the keys to the kingdom, and I _understood_. I saw myself in those characters. I learned about life through those characters. This is what makes life worth living. That's what the best musicals are all about. That's why I love them. And they're catchy as hell and some of them always make me laugh. It's impossible not to crack up at 'The Internet is for Porn' or a song with a chorus that ends 'You skanky, skanky, skanky, skanky whore'"

"All that singing….it's just so…unrealistic." Matt replied.

"It's not about what you like, or don't like," Kurt said. "It's about _who _you like. If Jude Law or Collin Firth turn you on more than Kate Winslet and Kiera Knightly, then you're most definitely gay."

"Oh, I know _that,_" Matt said.

"How long have you kept this secret, Matt?"

"For a couple of years now. I found out after I made out with Santana freshman year," Matt said with an embarrassed look on his face.

Kurt just laughed. "Santana turned you off to girls? Wow, don't repeat THAT to anyone any time soon."

"Don't worry, wasn't planning on it," Matt replied with a humorless chuckle. "And I don't think she turned me OFF to girls exactly. I just found out that if I wasn't turned on by HER, it wasn't going to work with anyone."

"So why did you tell me?" Kurt asked.

"Because if I didn't, you were going to set me up with Kendra, and then I was going to have to let her down as gently as possible, and that would've been a huge mess," he said as convincingly as possible.

"Aaaah," Kurt said. Matt realized Kurt didn't buy his explanation, but decided to drop it.

"So, homo-wan-kenobi," Matt said, taking his shirt off and jumped into the pool. "You're my only hope!" he said in his best Princess Leia voice, and splashed him.

"Oh no…you did NOT just get chlorine all over my Versace silk shirt!" Kurt said, following suit.

With a splash, he was in the pool. They began horsing around, and after awhile, Matt became very still.

"Seriously…What do I do now?" Matt asked.

Kurt sighed as he absently did backstrokes. "Well, that's up to you," he said, leaning back against the back corner of the pool. "Have you told anyone?"

"Mike. My parents," Matt said, swimming towards Kurt.

"Well, I would say the next step is to introduce you to some eligible guys. But Sam and I are pretty much it in this county, and you, Matt, are waaaay too good for that douche-bag."

Matt managed to pick Kurt up and lift him out of the water. Kurt squealed as he was held above the pool in midair for a few seconds. "PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!"

With a splash, Kurt landed in the water in the deep end. Kurt heard a muffled splash above him, and then Matt was coming towards him.

Whether they were floating or swimming, he couldn't tell. Gravity, for once, didn't exist as their lips met under the water, limbs a tangled mess as tongues danced furiously and without hesitation. Matt pulled Kurt closer to him under the water. Kurt wasn't sure whether or not it was the lack of air or the the smell of the chlorine in the pool mixed with the smell of Matt and beer making him light-headed.

Matt kicked them upward and with a splash, they came out of the water. Droplets of water traced both boys' skin and Kurt ran a fingertip up Matt's chest, tracing the well-defined muscles.

"We shouldn't do this," Kurt said. But Matt's arms were still around his waist and Kurt was making no attempt to get away. Kurt still wasn't protesting as Matt's hands roamed lower and lower down Kurt's back. "You're drunk," he whispered huskily. "We shouldn't do this right now."

"You're probably right," Matt said breathlessly, reaching up to brush away droplets of water that had begun to trickle from Kurt's hair and cupped his face in his hands. Kurt kissed him this time, and Matt wasn't entirely sure whether they'd gone under water again or not.

"Look, Matt, if this is just some kind of experiment or something…" he said, pulling away, "that's…" he tried to finish, but Matt's finger was on his lips.

Matt kissed the other boy again, this time trying to tell him all the things he couldn't…that he'd started to have feelings…_real _feelings for Kurt for awhile now, and this was the only way he knew he could tell him without making Kurt run for the hills.

"I'm not him," Matt whispered as he nibbled Kurt's ear. "I'm not Sam. I'm not asking you to trust me" Matt told him as he planted a trail of kisses down Kurt's neck. "Just asking you to let this happen…"

"What if someone catches us?" Kurt asked as a he felt a shiver up his spine when Matt's finger tugged at the belt loop of his pants.

"What happens will happen," Matt told him, and Kurt kissed him this time.

An hour later and they finally made it out of the pool. Matt pulled Kurt out of the water, and they kissed again. Kurt nibbled on Matt's bottom lip.

"We should go inside," he whispered.

Matt just led Kurt to one of the lounge chairs and pulled the other boy on top of him. "I'd rather be here," he said. Passionate kisses turned into tender ones, and Kurt felt like if he spoke, the spell would be broken.

"This was not how I was planning on this night going," Matt finally said with a chuckle. "But I'm not complaining. Not one bit."

"Me either. But…what do we do about tomorrow?" Kurt asked finally as he lay on Matt's chest.

"We'll worry about it tomorrow," Matt said, pulling Kurt closer to him again.

But somehow Kurt felt like that could be a potential problem in just a matter of a few hours, but as Matt traced circles along Kurt's back, he decided some bridges were better crossed later.


	8. Chapter 8

The sky was just beginning to turn gray with the dawn before it even occurred to Kurt to worry about what time it was.

"Matt, I should go back…they'll be waking up soon…we should…" Kurt said hesitantly, scrambling up out of the lawnchair and gathering his clothes, but Matt grabbed his hand and stopped him again with another kiss. "…go back…" Kurt finished finally as Matt's tongue explored Kurt's mouth one more time. Kurt dropping his clothes on the ground again.

Matt nodded, tracing a finger along Kurt's shoulder blade sending a shiver up and down Kurt's spine that had nothing to do with the chill in the early-morning air.

"I know," Matt said in an almost-whisper.

A swirl of mixed emotions ran through Kurt's head as Matt pulled him close one last time. It was quite possibly one of the most amazing nights of his life. Sam was always…good at that part, but it'd never felt so _right_…like it was always supposed to be like that.

"Kurt," Matt said, hands around Kurt's waist and leaning against the other boys' forehead. "I'm no expert, obviously…but that…was incredible."

"I'm not exactly the authority on this, either…but yeah…incredible's a good word for it," he said, grinning as he took Matt's hands in his.

"I don't think I'm ready for people to know about this," Matt said, looking down at their hands. And by 'people,' Kurt was pretty sure he meant 'Mercedes.'

Kurt nodded. "Oh, I completely understand," he said, trying not to sound hurt as he turned to pick up his clothes again and began to turn back to the room.

He DID understand, though. And truth be told, he wasn't sure he was too thrilled about the prospect of Mercedes knowing about these developments just yet, either.

After all, Kurt had already done his soul-searching a long time ago. He knew who he was and he saw no reason to hide it from anyone. True, it made him a target for the Karofskys and the Azimios of the world. It made people uncomfortable more often than not, but he knew it was more a reflection of them than on him.

Matt needed time to learn that, too. Kurt remembered what it was like when he first began to struggle with his sexuality (which was still something he grappled with on a near-constant basis), and it had to be a doubly hard thing for a guy like Matt. It was going to be a process for Matt, and he had to allow him the time to adjust.

"But I wouldn't object if it happened again," Matt said as Kurt turned the knob to open the gate.

And the goofy grin that had permanently affixed itself across Kurt's features since they got out of the pool grew even wider.

"Me either," he said.

The question that kept going through his head as he made his way back to his room was the one he was sure Mike (along with everyone else in the world) was bound to ask eventually.

'_What the hell just happened?'_

The honest-to-Gaga answer? He didn't have a damn clue.

He could've easily blamed the whole thing on the six-pack of beer, but that wasn't it _at all_. Alcohol just made people more truthful, he just never expected THAT kind of confession to come out of his mouth, especially to Kurt.

But when he finally did, it felt like everything made sense in the world.

And that kiss…oh GOD…that kiss. He brought his fingers unconsciously to his lips, the taste of Kurt's lips still lingering on his tongue.

"Dude," Mike said as they gathered their belongings in the hotel room to head back to Lima, "You didn't come back last night."

"Yeah…well…couldn't sleep…" Matt answered.

His best friend just leaned up against the wall, and gave him a look that told him he was pretty sure that there was more to it than that.

"Plus," Matt continued, going to the bathroom to gather the rest of his things, "I thought you and Mercedes were…uh…busy…and like I was going to walk in on that."

A grin crept across Mike's features, and Matt saw something he didn't think he ever saw before since he and Mike became friends in second grade…Mike, cool, calm, collected, suave Mike Chang was…_blushing_.

"You've got it bad for that girl, don't you?" Matt asked.

The grin just got wider, and Matt had his answer.

Matt just clapped Mike on the shoulder, shook his head, and made his way to the bus.

Kurt thought that the bus ride to Toledo with Matt hating him was bad. That was a billion times easier than the bus ride home after their…

Whatever it was called that they did.

Well, he knew what it was _called._

But what it _meant_? That was a different story altogether.

"You're really quiet," Mercedes said. "You still mad at Matt?"

"Not at all," Kurt shook his head, hoping that his tone didn't set off his best friend's suspicion. "Just tired, I guess. Ready to go home. But look at you!" he said, hoping to distract her.

"What do you mean, look at me?" she fired back, but grinned from ear to ear.

"Look at you all twitterpated!" Kurt said.

"Twitterpated?"

"What else would you call it?"

"Boy, please!"

"I heard you two have been SEXting," Kurt said.

"WHO TOLD?"

"Pleading the fifth!" Kurt blurted out as Mercedes repeatedly swatted him.

"So, spill, Baby Girl. I want details!"

"Would you just DROP it?"

"Oh come on. The only reason you're sitting with me is because your new boyfriend is taking a probably much needed nap," Kurt said with a mischievous grin on his face, jerking his head towards the back of the bus.

He dared not turn his head in Matt's direction. Any looks in the other boy's direction would be a dead giveaway.

"He is NOT my boyfriend!" Mercedes fired back.

"Mike and Mercedes sittin' in the tree…" Kurt began to sing at the top of his lungs. Laughing, Mercedes clamped a hand on his mouth.

"Kurt, you are sooooo dead," Mercedes warned., but couldn't quite keep the laughter out of her eyes.

"Just as long as you let me pick out the prom dress," Kurt rushed out.

"Would you hush! Prom's MONTHS away. We've just been havin' some fun lately. That is ALL."

"And the wedding dress!" He said through giggles, ducking out of the way before she REALLY got in a good punch.

"Sooooo wish you would just go back to getting me to help you set up Kendra with Matt."

"Change of plans," Kurt said, trying to keep his tone as even as possible.

"What happened?"

"Take a look," Kurt said, jerking his head behind them.

Mercedes did, and Kendra's lipstick was smudged, and that exact shade was on Puck's lips as well.

"Ohhhh….so that's why you couldn't go back to your room last night?" Mercedes said quiet enough so that Mr. Schue wouldn't here.

"Uh-huh…" Kurt said, hoping that this was the only detail of Kurt's night that Mercedes was aware of.

And made a mental note that if he and Matt were going to be doing that sort of thing in the future, they really needed to be more careful.

And doing _that_?

Again?

He tried to keep the blush out of his cheeks and the goofy grin off his face so nobody would see it, but it was damn near impossible.

Because that would definitely have to happen again.

Preferably sooner rather than later.


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt should have known that he wouldn't be able to pass Matt without incident once they returned to school the following day. After all, it had been two weeks since the fall-out, and Kurt still couldn't pass Sam Evans without a combination of wishing the other boy bodily harm and wanting to hide as far away from him as possible.

Matt though, he actually _wanted _to see again. And that night at the hotel, Matt gave Kurt every reason to hope that the other boy wanted to see _him _again, too. But when the bus pulled into McKinley, everyone went their separate ways, and it wasn't until after second period he even saw Matt again.

Which of course was enough to make him wish he had his Xanax handy.

'_Don't be awkward don't be awkward don't be awkward…' _ Kurt repeated to himself as Matt and Mike walked past. Or more accurately, as Mike and Mercedes played tongue-hockey against her locker while Matt just looked at the floor.

Matt's eyes darted up to Kurt's as he came out of the classroom, and nodded a hello, but that was the only acknowledgement the other boy would give. Kurt waved and walked by as quickly as he could without actually breaking into a run.

So it _was _experimentation, Kurt realized as he leaned against his locker. Which was just fine with him. Experimentation was a hell of a lot better than the pure deception, which, apparently, was the entire goal of his last boyfriend.

Sam was McKinley's new star Quarterback. As it turned out, that was the entire reason Sam had even bothered with Kurt in the first place. At first, Kurt couldn't figure out why a guy like Sam even bothered with a guy like him. But then he began to buddy up to Finn. And then threatened Finn with rumors that couldn't have been further from the truth so he could be quarterback so his father (who coached the Carmel team) would notice him.

"So, who'd you have to blow for THAT Prada shirt today, Faggy?" Azimio's voice came from behind. Kurt froze.

Before Kurt knew what was happening, Finn came walking out of a classroom.

"Boys, you wouldn't be harassing my step-brother now, would you?" Finn said with a cold smile. "Because I _will_ remind you again about what happens when you do that stuff if I have to."

"Where's your red rubber dress Finn?" Azimio said, sneering. "You seriously think you're gonna pull that knight in shining armor shit for your faggy step-brother now that you're not the star quarterback anymore?"

"So that WAS you reading Vogue in the library!" Kurt said with as much venom in his tone as he could muster, trying to forget that he was the reason Finn lost that position in the first place. "Good to see that you're educating yourself on the finer things in life, gentlemen, because I didn't even think you were aware of what Prada even _was_. And for your information, it's not Prada, it's _Versace_."

"Come on dude," Mike said with a nod in Karofsky's direction. "He's not worth gettin' suspended over. Just let him be."

Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt saw Matt bury in his fists in his pocket.

"I know your new girl is his fag-hag, Chang," Azimio said with a chuckle. "You're just sticking up for The Fag coz you're pussy-whipped."

"At least he's getting' some!" Mercedes shouted, stepping in front of Kurt and Azimio.

"Oh, so is your boy, here, Mercedes," Azimio fired back. "Only it was somebody's grandpa."

"Kurt, just get the hell out of here," Mercedes seethed through clinched teeth.

"I don't care if it's Vajayjay," Karofsky said, moving slowly forward like a tiger ready to pounce, "but the fact that you're prancin' around in THAT get-up just BEGS for some serious torture," Karofsky taunted.

"Really guys," Santana said coming out the girl's bathroom. "Beating up on that diva is sooooo yesterday. Shouldn't you two jokers be getting a new routine about now? "

"Some things," Karofsky said, "like beating up fags, are like peanut butter and jelly. It just never gets old."

"Neither does masturbation," Santana said without batting an eye, " but that's only if that's not your only method of getting off."

"WHAT?" Azimio and Karofsky said in unison.

"Oh, I think you heard me, boys," Santana purred. "Kurt, let's not keep Coach Sylvester waiting."

"Oh no!" Azimio said, stepping in between Kurt and Santana. "Like we're gonna let a GIRL get in the way of our little game here. You ain't walkin' away from us THIS time," he said, punctuating his words with a jab of his finger.

"No, I think you're the ones who'll be walking away," came a low, threatening voice from behind them.

The bell rang, but nobody involved was scattering to go to their next class.

Kurt blinked in disbelief when he realized exactly who the speaker was. Matt's jaw was clenched along with his fists.

"Matt…it's okay…just go to class." Kurt pleaded, but Matt was not backing down, and neither were Karofsky or Azimio.

"Sticking up for your boyfriend, Rutherford?" Azimio sneered.

"Just sticking up for what's right, you assholes," Matt said, and threw a punch.

Azimio held his nose (which was bleeding), but not before Karofsky held Matt's arm back so tightly he almost broke it.

Kurt winced as he saw Matt doubled over, getting the wind knocked out of him. Azimio recovered, and ran at Matt, but Mike just held a foot out, which threw the jock to the ground with a mighty thud, but not before a few puck heads decided Matt would make a good punching bag.

Finally, a student must've gotten the attention of one of the teachers, because a classroom door opened.

"Alright, boys Break it up!" Mr. Carlton, the AP History teacher finally came out of the hall.

'_Of course the puck heads WOULD run,' _Kurt thought miserably.

"What happened here?" the teacher demanded.

"We were just messin' around, that's all," Karofsky tried to say, but Mr. Carlton was hearing none of it. "You're coming with me to Figgins' office." And then he turned to Mike, Kurt, Finn, Mercedes, and Santana. "You, you, you, you and you all are getting detention slips for not being in class. Just put your names on them yourselves, all right?" He said, handing them each the dreaded pink piece of paper. And then he turned to Matt: "Kid? You okay?" Matt just nodded.

Kurt could do nothing but stand there. Mr. Carlton jerked his head in Kurt's direction. "Take him to the nurse's office, please," he said as he handed Kurt his detention slip.

Everyone scattered to their respective classrooms, leaving the two alone for the first time since the pool.

"You stupid idiot," Kurt said as he helped Matt on to a bench. "Those jerks do that kind of stuff to me all the time. I could've handled it."

"I know," Matt said. "That doesn't mean I could've."

Kurt forgot where they were and took a napkin out of his pocket to dab a trickle of blood from Matt's lips. "Looks like they got you good, too…"

Matt coughed.

"Just take me to the nurse's office," he said.

"Matt, if this is about what happened, I…"

Matt put a reassuring hand on Kurt's arm. "I would've done it with or without what happened the other night."


	10. Chapter 10

Matt hated this. He hated everything about it. He hated the way idiots treated Kurt just for being different. He hated that Kurt seemed…used to the treatment he got from his fellow jocks. And most of all, he hated the look of guilt Kurt had on his face at that moment, as if the other boy thought he was the one responsible for the pummeling Matt had just received, like he didn't even feel as though he had a right to be here at all.

"Kurt," the nurse said as they came in. "You're not on the receiving end this time, I see."

"No, Gwen," Kurt said with a sigh. "Take care of my friend for me, will you?"

'_Friend?' _Matt wanted to ask, wondering if that's how Kurt wanted things to remain.

"Do you want me to stay?" Kurt asked, obviously seeing the look on his face.

"I'll be fine…go to class," Matt said, trying not to wince as the nurse dabbed rubbing alcohol on the cut on his chin.

A waifish looking girl came into the office looking pale. "Hey Kurt," she said weakly. Then she turned to the nurse. "Gwen, I need my insulin," she announced.

"All right Amelia," Gwen said with a sigh. "Come on, hon, I'll fix you up. Kurt, do me a favor and take care of him? You know the drill."

"You know the drill?" Matt repeated. "This happens to you on a regular basis?"

He was aware that Kurt was teased, but injured enough on a regular basis to know the drill for care of cuts and bruises? That was just so….wrong.

Kurt just shrugged. "Yeah, well, that's what I get for being me in this town."

"How can you just _accept _it? How can you just let stuff like this happen to you?"

"The gay kid verses the football team? Yeeeeah, I see that argument going over reeeeally well in court. Besides…it heals. You get used to it. Finn and Puck have come to my rescue more than once since Glee, so it's gotten a LOT better. Kind of makes putting up with Rachel Berry worth it."

Matt looked at the floor, unable to face Kurt, suddenly feeling guilty himself for not coming to Kurt's defense before now. "I'm sorry I wasn't a big protector before. Seriously…if those idiots give you any more trouble from now on, and not just because…"

Kurt couldn't even face Matt at that point and busied himself with getting cotton balls and alcohol wipes from jars on the counter, along with antibiotic ointment.

Kurt just sighed and bit his lower lip. "Matt, I've taken care of myself for a long time," he said as he dabbed the blood that had begun to dry that before had just been trickling down his nose with the alcohol wipes.

A shiver went down Matt's spine, that wasn't an entirely a bad feeling as Kurt's feather-light touch glanced across his jaw line. "I should get some ice for that. It'll hurt like a bitch tomorrow," he said, shaking his head.

He busied himself again and knew exactly where the cups were in the cabinet and where to find a plastic baggie in one of the drawers. He also took care to wrap a couple of wash clothes around the bag so the ice wouldn't be too cold and held it there for what seemed like an eternity.

Matt couldn't tell if he was getting light-headed more from the alcohol on the wipes being breathed in directly or because of the fact that Kurt was inches away from him, taking care of his wounds with a tenderness he'd never really known before. Matt released a shaky breath. Blue eyes locked with brown ones and he cleared his throat.

Kurt's hand rested on Matt's for a split second, but Kurt seemed to remember himself and treated Matt's hand as though he'd just touched a burning stove, and the guilty expression he wore.

"I'm, uh…." Kurt stammered... "You should just hold this on your jaw for about half an hour, and then do it again when you get home tonight. I really should head back to class. And Matt…I…uh…just wanted to um, thank you. You didn't have to do what you did."

"Yes, I did," Matt said softly, unable to even look at the other boy as he left. "Nobody should be treated that way. Least of all someone as…" he stopped himself. 'Amazing as you' he was going to say, but thanked all the stars in heaven for giving him the sense to not add that last bit.

It was just sex. Nothing more. Nothing less. And even if it was amazing, Kurt was already skittish as it was and with good reason; Sam really had done a number on him, and he didn't want Kurt to head for the hills. "…nevermind," was what he finally settled on.

"See you in Glee on Wednesday," Kurt said, and then almost as an afterthought: "Oh, hey, even if, you know, Kendra's not your type, I still think you should go ahead with the performance."

Matt shook his head. "Snowball, say hello to hell. I can't get up there all by myself…it'll be a disaster. Singing with people on stage is one thing, but…a solo?"

"Baaaawk bawkbawkbawk" Kurt said, doing an uncanny immiation of a chicken.

"Kurt, that's your thing, not mine," Matt insisted.

Kurt leaned inches from Matt's face. "You're reeeeally talented Matt," he dropped his voice to a whisper "You've got good rhythm. You're good at going with the moment. You're good at a lot of things. And I'm not just talking about music."

Matt flushed at that. Kurt gave him a big, lopsided grin, and left.


	11. Chapter 11

'I swear on the soul of Versace, could I have BEEN more stupid?' Kurt swore as he hurried back to Geometry. What the hell was he doing? He epically sucked at the whole flirting thing. Flirting was supposed to be less…_obvious. _Matt didn't need to be pressured into anything. And especially not right after Matt had gotten a front row seat demonstrating exactly what it meant when you were…well…like him. The night at the pool had been nothing more than an impulse. And a drunken impulse at that.

His phone buzzed in his pocket indicating that he'd gotten a text.

It was from the last person he expected to speak to him again.

"_**What else am I good at?"**_

Kurt wanted to text back asking if he was the correct person to receive that message, because obviously, the message that Kurt was flirting had come across loud and clear.

And Matt…wasn't seeming to mind.

The last time that had happened was with Sam, and the object of his affection had ulterior motives.

'_Matt's not Sam. Matt's not Sam. Matt's not Sam…' ._was Kurt's inner-mantra. And after all, the boy _had _just defended him. Kurt really wished that they were in a more…private place when he was dressing his wounds, because he wanted to kiss Matt senseless for doing that. Kurt weighed his options, calculating the best response.

"_**I hope you have an unlimited text and data plan…" **_he began, but then deleted it, and then typed it again. Now was NOT the time for subtlety. He wanted Matt. More like, wanted to ravage him if that was something Matt was ready for, and kept replaying the events of the weekend in his head over and over again ever since it happened. Never in his wildest dreams did he actually think Matt wanted him _back._

To hell with subtlety. It was never his strong-suit, anyway. Might as well throw tact out the window and put all the cards on the table. Taking a breath, he pressed 'send' and then thumbs flew over the keyboard as he added: _**"…or maybe I should just show you later."**_

"_**What? Are you taking cheesy come-on lessons from Puck or something?" **_came Matt's reply an instant later. Kurt almost couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud in class.

Kurt's thumbs flew over the keyboard of his phone: _**"You take that back!"**_

"_**Doesn't mean I didn't like it."**_

"_**Oh, well…in that case…what would you think about another voice lesson?"**_

"_**After detention?"**_

"_**Oh yeah…I forgot I got everyone detention. Way to kill the mood."**_

"_**Sometimes punishment isn't all bad. ;)"**_

"_**I'll keep that in mind. Green room in the auditorium after detention?"**_

"_**You sure nobody will…"**_

"_**Oh come on, Rachel only practices in the choir room. The auditorium is closed for renovations."**_

"_**So if it's closed, I guess I could just pick the lock…"**_

"_**You really are a bad boy!"**_

"_**How to Pick Locks is Hanging Out With Puck 101."**_

"_**Then it'll just be you, me, and master-level breath control exercises on the couch in the greenroom." **_

The torture waiting for the last second of the last class of the day to pass was more torture than waiting for the new seasons of _America's Next Top Model _or _Army Wives _combined. Not even Water Boarding or Japanese Water Torture or the sound of Snookie's voice could compare to the pure _agony _that only intensified with each tick of the clock. The sooner this was over, the sooner he and Matt could…

Kurt made sure to keep his head down as he made his way to detention hall. Puck was always here for something or another, but everyone else?

It just wasn't fair. But still, Karma was a bitch and so was he, so he knew they'd get theirs in the end, but that still didn't make him feel any better about the whole rotten situation.

Mike filed in, followed by Matt. Mike just gave Kurt a nod, which only made the guilt worse.

Karofsky and Azimio and the other jocks who'd thrown a few punches at Matt all watched Kurt come in like a den of lions might watch a gazelle in the African Sahara.

"I've never had detention before," Mercedes said as she sat down.

'I'm sorry baby-girl,' Kurt mouthed to her. And Mercedes smiled.

"You're my Boo…like I was going to…"

"EVERYONE QUIET!" Figgins bellowed.

Kurt sighed, feeling extremely guilty as he saw half the Glee Club fill up the rows of seats in detention hall. They were all here because of _him._ In trouble because he just...couldn't be _normal. _

"I think I can make it worth your while if we can just…forget this whole detention mess," Santana said to Principal Figgins with her best flirty smile.

"Ms. Lopez, you are being punished and do not think for one minute that you are getting out of it using your womanly wiles."

Santana rolled her eyes and sat down.

"We'll let you watch San and I doing it," Brittany offered.

"Young lady, same goes for you. You are not here to talk. You are not here to play games. You are not here to text or upload internet porn or whatever it is you kids do on your cell phones nowadays. You are here to be punished. You will look straight ahead. You will keep your eyes open and off of the desks for one full hour. Your time begins now."

But Puck was already looking up, glancing at Finn. Kurt noticed this and saw what Puck was up to. Two pencils had somehow found their way into the ceiling.

Finn glanced up and it was his turn to toss one, but it missed, hitting The Principal in the shoulder.

"Do you boys want another afternoon of detention?" Figgins asked.

Finn shook his rapidly.

Kurt made sure to sit as far away from Matt as possible, and tried NOT to think about what would be in store for them in the next hour.


	12. Chapter 12

"_**I'll text you when I pick the lock," **_Matt had typed into his phone as soon as detention was over.

"_**You get alcohol under-age, and then you pick a lock? The whole bad-boy thing is actually kinda hot. Fairly new territory for me."**_

"_**Well, sneaking around with guys isn't exactly my usual thing, either, so we're both in new territory here."**_

Actually, doing anything with _anyone _was new territory for him period, let alone sneaking around. He'd made out with Santana once in a broom closet at a wedding before New Directions was even a gleam in Mr. Schue's eye, and that's when he discovered girls just…weren't his thing, but if Santana ever found that little tidbit of information out, he was pretty sure she'd make sure he'd be singing Soprano instead of Tenor pretty quickly.

And honestly, he didn't know how long he could keep the whole bad-boy image up, because that…wasn't him at all, either. The fact that he had his particular skill-set spoke more about the company he kept than his character, but if that's what turned Kurt on, Matt wasn't about to tell _him _that. He'd never turned a guy on before in his LIFE.

Matt had been in detention only once before, for being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time during one of Puck's stunts. It was lame, but it wasn't awful.

This, though? This was torture. And the look of pure guilt Kurt wore on his face the entire time just made Matt want to take Kurt in his arms and make it go away. But that train of thought didn't help anything, either.

Matt's hands could barely stop shaking enough to get the lock picked.

Kurt wasn't there yet, but that was only because he agreed to text Kurt when he was sure he was able to get in the door. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he really hoped that the ever-growing bulge in his crotch wasn't too terribly obvious.

He half-expected Kurt not to show at all. True, Kurt had flirted. But flirting was one thing. Actually following through? Another story altogether.

Truth was, it scared him more than a little bit how much he wanted Kurt to show up. He'd never wanted anyone this much in his life, and when a knock came on the green-room door, he half-expected it to be one of the maintenance crew, but his fears were unfounded.

Kurt just stood at the doorway, looking every bit as nervous as Matt felt.

Matt let out a shaky breath. "I've…uh…never been here before."

"What are you talking about…you've been in the green room like a billion times." And then a look of realization dawned on Kurt's face… "Ohhhh…you mean…"

Matt just looked at the floor and nodded.

"How is that even…I mean, Matt, come on, you're…" Kurt sighed as he took a seat next to Matt on the horribly stiff, ugly brown couch, obviously deciding not to finish that sentence.

"Nobody's ever been interested in me before," Matt admitted.

"How is that even possible? You're so…" Kurt said, shaking his head, letting his voice trail off has his fingers made circling patterns on his chest underneath Matt's T-Shirt.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt finally asked hesitantly, saddling up next to him.

Matt nodded, hating himself for not quite knowing what to do here.

"Why did you kiss me?" Kurt's voice was so small and so child-like in its puzzlement, and such a stark contrast to the self-confidence that seemed to come as natural to him as breathing, that the question caught Matt a bit off-guard

"Because I wanted to," Matt said simply and shivered at the feel of Kurt's hand on the top of his thigh.

"You'd had a few beers," Kurt reminded him as his index finger on his other hand circled Matt's left nipple, making Matt's breath hitch.

"Yeah, but the buzz is gone now, and I still want to kiss you," Matt said and did just that. "More than kiss you," he whispered, his lips crashing into Kurt's again, this time without hesitation, and any inhibitions or reservations he might have had flew out the window as Kurt lifted Matt's shirt over his head.

Matt's fingers were shaking so much he could barely unfastened the buttons of Kurt's shirt, and he couldn't seem to get them undone fast enough. He wanted Kurt's bare skin against his own more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life at that moment, but unfortunately for him, he had to be making out with a Fashionista who insisted on _layers._

Kurt lifted the printed t-shirt he had on over the button-down shirt he wore that day and although he'd seen everything that night in the pool, this was different. This was no drunken impulse.

This was _desire. _This was _need. _And

Kurt's bare chest was like a map to a country he had no idea how to read. Matt pulled back for a moment, tracing his fingers over Kurt's chest, scarcely able to believe the moan that was coming from Kurt's throat.

"Just lay back," Kurt whispered in his ear. Shivering as Kurt nibbled on his earlobe and pressed a soft trail of kisses down his neck, Matt saw no reason but to do as he was told.

And then the sound of a siren came from the auditorium.

"Just a fire drill," Kurt said as he unfastened Matt's pants. Matt followed suit, grabbing Kurt's hand, letting him know exactly what he wanted Kurt to do.

"I-I-I LOOO-OOOVE to siiiing!" came a familiar voice from the auditorium, and Kurt bolted upright.

"Oh my GOD! Rachel!" Kurt said with a wide-eyed squeak, fumbling around furiously for his clothes.

"I-I-I LOOO—OOO-OOOVE TO SING!" she sang a half-step higher…and…oh GOD…she was coming towards the green room…she'd see…

"Oh shit! I thought this auditorium was being renovated!" Matt said, looking behind the couch for his pants.

"I-I-I—Looooove to Sing!" she sang another half-step higher.

The door knob turned, and Kurt was still getting his pants zipped up.

"Kurt? I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone else would be…" her eyebrows quirked at the sight of the other boy, who was only half-clothed.

"Matt?" What are you…?"

"Um, we were just practicing a duet!" Kurt said hurriedly.

Matt nodded furiously as he tossed Kurt his shirt.

"A duet? What kind of duet?" Rachel asked, looking from Matt to Kurt, then back to Matt again.

"We're working on a number from _The Full Monty_," Kurt said, and then made his exit. Matt followed suit.

"But there's no duet in _The Full Monty_!" Rachel called after them.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Sorry it's been so long between updates. Real life's been eating me alive lately. **

"_The Full Monty?"_ Matt said with a chuckle. "I can't believe she actually BOUGHT IT!"

"Hey, just be glad she didn't ask us to do the number," Kurt said. "I mean, granted, the _Hair _mash-up was probably the worst idea EVER, but I couldn't go with the obvious back there."

"Wait! The obvious what?"

"The number of songs in musicals involving nudity," Kurt said with an exasperated sigh as though the answer should have been obvious. "I mean, there really aren't that many. We're pretty much restricted to _The Full Monty and Aquariu_s."

"But nudity happens in _Let the Sun Shine In_," Matt objected.

Kurt smiled. "You're just full of surprises today, Matt."

"Oh come on. My sister's the theater geek, remember? She forced me to watch that movie. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't scar me for life. That show has some really catchy songs, but it's…well, it's out-there. Especially if you watch it completely sober"

"Matt, would it really be so horrible if we went public?" Kurt asked as soon as they were safely out of earshot.

The stunned look on Matt's face caused Kurt to pale…something Matt didn't even think was possible. "I mean…_trust me _I know it's not easy being…different in this town, and I'm not assuming you and I ARE a we here…just…wouldn't it be easier if you didn't have to hide so much?"

"Kurt…I don't…"

"It's okay," Kurt said, studying the ground, mentally kicking himself for once again thinking before he spoke. How stupid could he possibly be? There was _one _make-out session. And then the green room. It was just sex. Well, not quite technically _sex _in the strictest definition of the term, but if Rachel hadn't so rudely interrupted, it would've definitely gone in that direction. Not that that was a bad thing. He could live with that.

But Matt still wasn't making eye-contact with him. Not a good sign.

"I'm not…" Matt began, clearing his throat, still studying the ground. "You're so much _braver _than I am, you know? I mean, if people found out, it's not like I really _care _about what everyone else thinks."

"Do your parents know?"

Matt shrugged. "I told them. My mom prefers to float on the River Denial. And my dad didn't say much, but he doesn't say much period. At school, Mike's the only one who knows, and he's cool with it. But hell, Kurt, it can't be easy, right?"

Kurt just shook his head. "But it's better than lying," he replied softly. "Look...I get it."

"Kurt, I…" Matt began, but the look of hurt on Kurt's face made him realize that there was nothing to say to make it better.

"Forget it," Kurt said, waving him off and fishing his keys out of his bag.

Matt didn't move as Kurt made his way to the Junior parking lot and was more than a little surprised when Kurt yelled behind him: "Come on…I'll take you home."

Matt took Kurt's hand in his when he finally caught up to the other boy. "Look, I don't know what we are, exactly. You're…more than a friend, that's for damn sure. But beyond that…" Matt shook his head. "I don't need to call it anything."

"It's not about that…it's…I'm not exactly _good _at hiding things," Kurt said.

Matt snorted a laugh. "As if you could. I'm not asking you to _hide_, exactly. I'm just…I don't know if I want the whole world to know just yet."

"What are you asking?" Kurt asked, moving closer to Matt, taking Matt's other hand in his. "And if you say 'I can't quit you,' you are SOOO walking home."

"I'm asking for ideas," Matt said, moving closer still, running his thumbs across Kurt's knuckles. "I'm asking for options. I'm asking for a place where we can go…to keep the world from getting in."

Kurt didn't care that this was the school parking lot. It was deserted anyway. Not like anyone would see them. Kurt kissed him. And for a second, Matt forgot where he was and kissed back, but then pulled away.

"Are you crazy?" Matt blurted out. "Kurt, do you have any idea what could've…who could've…"

Kurt unlocked the driver's side. Through the reflection, Matt could tell that Kurt's face was turning red. "Take a look around! We're in a DESERTED PARKING LOT! Nobody's here to FIGURE OUT YOUR DIRTY SECRET! THAT YOU'RE…"

"Hey, that's not what I meant, and you know it. I don't think you're…"

"Look, it doesn't matter," he said cranking the engine up. Matt was surprised when he didn't hear the squeal of the tires. "Do you still want a ride home?" Kurt asked. Matt climbed in.

"So, you're not worried that your parents will think I'm contagious?" Kurt seethed as Matt snapped the buckle in place.

Matt leaned his head against the window. "It has nothing to do with that."

"Oh come on. It has everything to do with that."

"Okay, maybe a little…but, that's not the biggest reason I'd prefer to keep us a secret."

Kurt would be lying if he said he wasn't floating on cloud nine hearing Matt refer to him as part of an 'us.'

"What is it then?" He asked quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"You live for the spotlight."

"Yeah…so?"

"You LOVE the attention. You soak it up."

"And that's an issue because…"

"I…don't."

"Like I couldn't figure that one out myself," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

"No, it's…look. Anyone dating you is GOING to get noticed. I…don't want to be noticed. Not for that. Not for anything."

"Then why are you on the football team? Why are you in Glee?" Kurt countered.

Matt shrugged. "Just sort of did those things because Mike did, you know? That's my boy. I mean, we've been best friends since second grade. I like to dance, and Mike taught me a few moves, and I don't sing like you do…but I don't suck, either. I mean, ask anyone at school who I am, and you'll probably get a lot of blank stares. I mean, the people who matter know who I am, but everyone else?" Matt shook his head. "And you know something? I _like it that way._"

Kurt was silent for a minute. Matt took his silence as a good sign, thinking that maybe it meant that Kurt understood.

"Why?" he finally blurted out when they came to a red light. "Why would you want to blend in."

"It's a cultural thing," Matt said with a shrug.

Kurt just gave him an incredulous glare. "Mercedes is black. She doesn't even BOTHER blending in."

"I'm half African-American," Matt asserted. "My mother's Latino."

"Santana's Latino. I don't see_ her_ blending in any time soon, either."

"They're _women_," Matt argued. "It's okay for them to be loud and outspoken. Expected, even. They're SUPPOSED to be loud and outspoken. The Sassy black woman? The Fiery Latina? Those are stereotypes for a reason. But guys? Guys are expected to blend in. And being gay in my family? My mother actually asked me if I tried NOT being gay when I told her. To them, it's a sin. I'd be an abomination and bound for hell, and if you and I are a couple? I'm LUCKY if they don't kick me out altogether."

"Well," Kurt said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "When you put it that way…"

"How did your dad react when you told him?" Matt asked.

"He said he knew. That he'd known since I was little what I was, and he said he couldn't pretend to be okay with it, but that he loved me. I was really afraid I'd be kicked out, too. But you know what? Now that I don't have to hide anymore, it's gotten a lot better between us. You don't know how they'll…"

"And you don't know my parents. Turn left," Matt instructed.

"It's the first house on the right," Matt said as Kurt noticed the porch lights come on and a petite dark-haired Hispanic woman emerged.

"We kept dinner waiting for you," his mother said.

Kurt recognized the voice. He'd been looking for truffle oil, which was proving to be a fruitless search. He was just about to turn down the oil-aisle when he overheard a woman on her cell phone.

"_Burt Hummel's a good man. It's a pity he has to live with a son like THAT. You'd think that boy would respect his father enough to change his ways, but say anything about his boy and he finds out…Hoooo! Watch out!"_

"Who's your friend?" Mrs. Rutherford asked, eyeing Kurt curiously.

"Oh, that's Kurt," Matt said. "He's from Glee. Gave me a ride home."

"Tell him to come in for dinner. I want to thank him for taking you home safely," Kurt could here her saying.

But Kurt cranked up the engine and pulled out of the driveway.

Everything made sense now. Matt was risking _everything _if he came out of the closet. Not just at school, but at home, too. He understood that fear. He'd lived it before he came out to his father last year and was lucky enough to have a dad who accepted him for who he was and loved him in spite of it.

But he also knew that not everyone who came out got the happy ending he had. A Latino online friend of his was still having a hard time dealing with the consequences of coming out to a family who hadn't accepted him, and he knew Matt would be in the same boat.

The answer was simple.

He knew what it would mean for _him _if his dad hadn't accepted him. He couldn't let Matt suffer those consequences.

Whatever it was between him and Matt had to stop. Nothing would change for him, but EVERYTHING would change for Matt, and he couldn't live with himself if he'd turned Matt's life upside down.

Kurt sighed as he pulled away from Matt's driveway, watching as Matt went inside. This is how it had to be. He hated it.

But being responsible for turning Matt's world upside down?

He hated that even more.

So tomorrow at school he'd say hello to Mike and Matt, but that would be it. He leaned his head against the steering wheel, hating himself for getting into this situation. He wanted Matt, and Matt wanted him back. But if being in a relationship with Matt meant that he'd be miserable for the rest of his life, it wasn't worth it.

With a heavy heart, Kurt made his way into the house, and found his dad watching WWE.

"So my flesh and blood finally decides to grace me with his presence," Burt said. "You know, I pay those huge cell phone bills every month for a reason, kiddo. You know the rules."

"Sorry, dad, just lost track of time."

"How was your day, Kiddo?"

"Good," Kurt said shortly as he made his way towards the basement.

"Really? Because I heard you got detention today," Burt challenged.

"Which is why I was late," Kurt said shortly. It wasn't the _entire _reason, but sharing _all _the details with his dad would probably give him another heart attack.

"There's pizza in the fridge if you want it."

"Dad, you know you're not supposed to eat that stuff! Do you know how many calories that crap has? How many grams of cholesterol, saturated fat, and sodium? What happened to the pumpkin and leak soup I made on Sunday for you to eat during the week?"

"I uh, kinda finished it during the game."

Kurt shook his head. "Why do I even bother?" he mumbled, making his way to the basement, but Burt blocked him.

"Hey, what the hell happened today?"

"Oh, you know. Some kids started giving me a hard time."

"For the usual reasons?" Burt asked.

Kurt nodded.

"Who? I should call their parents. Give them a piece of my mind. Tell me they got detention too, right?"

"Longer than I did, since they started it," Kurt said with a grin.

"Good."

"Hey Dad?" Kurt asked in a small voice. He didn't want to ask the question, but he needed to know the answer.

"Do you ever wish I was…you know…normal?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I mean…do you ever wish I was straight?"

"Kurt, come on…you know what I…"

"That's not what I meant. Just answer the question."

"Honestly? Especially when you get in trouble because of what some jackass starts? Yeah, sure. But Kurt…there's nothin' wrong with _you._ It's the way people treat you…that's what I wish could be different."

"Hey Dad?" Kurt asked, sitting down on the couch. "I was so scared when I came out. I honestly had no idea how you were going to react…and I just…you could've tried to make me change, or kick me out. I know a lot of dads who would've done just that. I'm really glad you didn't."

Burt sat down next to him. "Like I had a choice."

The wrestling match continued to blare on the television, but Kurt didn't care what was on. He laid his head on his dad's shoulder, feeling very very lucky.

Matt's parents weren't going to be accepting of the fact that their son was gay. At all. Sneaking around was…well…hot. But the possibility of being discovered? In this town, it was just a matter of time before someone found them. Matt's secret would be out and his life as he knew it would be over. He couldn't do that.

Matt didn't need that.

So it was settled. It had to be done.

He hated the idea more than he thought he would, but the next time he met up with Matt, it would have to be the last.


	14. Chapter 14

"The park behind the Middle School playground at midnight. If you can," came the text from Matt an hour later.

Kurt's thumbs flew over the keyboard. "Are you sure you want to risk being seen with me in public?"

"It's midnight. The drug dealers are all on the other end of town."

"And you would know this, how?"

"I'm friends with Puck, remember?"

"I'll try not to hold that against you."

"So…midnight?"

"I don't know. Getting nine hours of sleep a night is a strict part of my beauty regimen."

"So you don't want to seal the deal, then?"

"Oh…it's sealed."

Kurt put the phone in his pocket and tried to concentrate on the English Essay that was due tomorrow until his dad was asleep and he could safely leave for the park. He knew what he was going to have to do, and it surprised him how hard it was going to be.

Matt was waiting for him on the swing when he arrived, shielding his eyes from the lights from Kurt's truck.

"Thought you'd chickened out," Matt said from the swing.

"Matt," Kurt said, taking a seat on the seat next to him. It was damp from the dew and the metal was slippery and cold, and he couldn't look at Matt right then. So with a kick, he was swinging back and forth. "We have to talk."

"Really? Because I was kinda hoping that there wouldn't be much talking tonight," Matt said, getting off his swing and standing in front of Kurt. With a yank of both of Matt's hands, the swing came to an abrupt halt.

"Kurt, if you want to end this, just say so."

"You couldn't even deal with the risk of me kissing you in a deserted parking lot. I really don't think you're ready for the consequences."

"How about you let _me _decide what I'm ready for."

"What happened today? That was just a little taste. I'm different, so people you call 'friends' have made a hobby out of making me feel less-than. Every day, I'm called names, I'm slushied, I'm thrown in the dumpster or shoved into my locker. Nobody wants to get paired with the gay kid for assignments or pick the gay kid for teams in PE. I had to start using the girl's bathroom out of fear of getting jumped…or worse. It's such a regular occurrence that I keep at least two spare outfits in my locker now. And if you get caught with me, that'll be your hell, too."

Matt lifted the other boy's chin up. "One. Those idiots aren't my friends. My _friends_ are Mike, Finn, and Puck. In that order. And two…" Matt didn't finish that thought. His lips met Kurt's with ferocity he'd never experienced before.

"Are you wearing lip gloss?" Matt asked with a grin as he straddled Kurt's lap.

Kurt nodded, tracing the line of Matt's jaw with his fingertips. "And if we're going to keep this up, I'm going to have to teach you about proper lip-care," Kurt said with a raised eyebrow as he wrapped his arms around Matt's neck, pulling the other boy in for a kiss. This time, it was slow and tender, Hands found their way lower and lower as the kiss continued to deepen. Both boys were taking their time exploring each other's mouths and bodies, and although the urgency was, without a doubt, still present, both of them seemed to be aware of the fact that daylight was hours away.

"This is stupid," Kurt said when the need for air finally interrupted the kiss. "This can't end well for either of us."

The swing creaked as they rocked back and forth. Matt's large hands cupped Kurt's face, and Kurt let out a shaky breath. "Don't care," Matt said, lips descending on Kurt's again.

Over the next four days, Kurt had made more than a few discoveries. Discovery number one: Matt was ticklish under his left ribcage. Discovery number two: secret rendezvous at night were sexy as hell. They'd met every night for the last four nights. Kurt was so glad it was turtleneck season, because he was pretty sure he'd have a _very_ difficult time explaining the hickeys that were taking up current residence on his neck. Discovery number three: They left little time for actual sleep. He'd probably gotten a total of eight hours in the past four days, and it was beginning to have a negative impact on virtually every aspect of his life. Not that he was complaining about _that_.

But people were starting to notice.

His dad made a comment about the bags under his eyes the morning after the second night. By the third, Coach Sylvester was starting to notice. She'd called him into her office after Cheerios that first week.

"Ladyface, look, I've made allowances for you lately because I know you've been under a lot of strain taking care of your dad. But he's better, and you're STILL giving me sub-par today. I don't care who you have to sell to get your groove back, but you're getting it back. I expect one hundred percent from all of my Cheerios, and that means you. Buck up, Buttercup, or you're out. Are we clear?"

Kurt could only nod, and planned to make a trip to the store for energy shots.

It only got worse from there. He began nodding off in class. The first time it happened was during French.

"Kurt," Mrs. Lasker the French teacher said sternly.

"Voulez-vouz couchet avec moi?" Kurt mumbled sleepily.

The class giggled. "Fags worship disco, you know," Azimio said. "It's like their religion or something."

Kurt was awake now, and stood up. "I, unlike you, am NOT a stereotype."

"Boys," Mrs. Lasker "Apologize to each other right now for those remark or you will be spending some quality time in detention. Kurt…see me after class please."

Kurt nodded, not looking forward to the lecture awaiting him, but glad that he escaped another detention on his permanent record.

But he'd have to come up with an alternative plan. The clandestine meetings with Matt was the stuff of romance novels and soap operas, but being constantly sleep-deprived was beginning to have a negative impact on nearly every aspect of his life.

He was sure Matt was having to deal with similar problems, but he was also fairly certain that he never had to face the wrath of one Mercedes Jones after falling asleep while he was supposed to be listening to her.

"_It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you_

_And when we are apart I feel it too_

_And no matter what I do I feel the pain_

_With or without you"_

Blasted in his ears, jolting him awake.

"Take the 'W' to the 'T' to the 'F!'" Mercedes shouted. "What in the HELL is going on with you White Boy?" Mercedes shouted, yanking the ear-bud out of his ear. "You've been brushin' me off. It was like pullin' teeth just tryin' to get you to hang out THIS time.? And you know where I found that particular little number? Your sexy-time playlist," she said. "Last time you had one of those, you were seein'…" she gasped. "Kurt…pleeease tell me you're not wastin' your time on that fool again!"

Kurt froze.

He couldn't tell her the truth. That would ruin Matt's life, and he wasn't about to do that to him. He trusted Mercedes, he knew she wouldn't blab, but he also knew he needed to let Matt be in control when it came to dropping _that _particular bombshell.

"I've decided to give Sam a second chance," Kurt lied, hoping against hope that she'd buy it. "He's apologized for everything, and we've come to an understanding, and if you're my friend, you're just going to have to accept that."

"Oh, I accept it. Doesn't mean I have to _like_ it," she huffed, and stormed out.

And Kurt made a promise to himself to be more careful.


	15. Chapter 15

Matt was extremely glad that he didn't feel a need to categorize this…_thing _that was going on with Kurt.

Because a name for it hadn't been invented yet.

He knew how he felt when he was _with _Kurt. He knew he wanted to feel that way as long as possible. Every nerve was on fire. The rest of the world just melted away, and all that remained was _them_. It had become his favorite part of the day. But then daylight became their enemy.

It wasn't fair. If Kurt were any given _girl_ in town (well, maybe not Santana or Brittany, or the married cougars Puck liked to brag about), they could have held hands on the way to class, even gone on dates in public. He'd be able to call Kurt his, and nobody would bat an eye if Matt was Kurt's date to the upcoming Snow Ball.

Before Kurt, Matt probably wouldn't even have known it was coming up. It had all the corniness of the Enchantment Under the Sea dance in _Back to the Future_, but instead of Marvin Berry or the marginally less talented pre-epileptic Michael J. Fox, it would be The Chord Suspensions, who were music-school drop-outs from OSU.

Normally, Matt would just go to show off his dancing skills and watch Finn epically screw up at dancing. He always went stag to those kinds of things if he went at all. The stress of the secret was wearing on him, and he hated lying to the people closest to him. Although, as much as he might've hated to admit it, Puck was right. The whole secret thing brought a new level of excitement to it.

And really, after that bombshell was dropped and they didn't have to hide anymore, what was there? They were two completely different people. They only had one thing in common (well, besides the other very _X-Rated_ thing they had in common) but beyond that, once that fizzled out, there wasn't much of a leg to stand on.

Kurt liked that horribly cheesy Broadway crap his sister forced into his ears when she drove him to school his Freshman year. Matt liked hip-hop and R&B. Kurt's movie collection consisted of Romantic Comedies and movie musicals and classic films. Matt was a geek's geek. Kurt loved those stupid Real Housewives of Wherever shows. Matt watched whatever game was on TV and _Star Trek: Next Generation_, and sometimes _Stargate: SG-1_, and any given rerun from the Joss Whedon universe. Kurt was impulsive. Matt was analytical. Kurt was prone to panic attacks. Matt was always calm and collected. Kurt was obsessed with fashion. Matt got dressed in the dark and was happy if his shirt wasn't inside out that day.

But for some reason, when they were together, it was magic. And he'd love to be a couple with Kurt like Finn and Rachel, but that simply wasn't possible.

Secrets kept you safe in this town. He didn't know if what he felt for Kurt could be called _love _exactly, but he really wasn't ready for the fall-out of being Kurt's new boyfriend, either.

So until he was ready to leave the safety of that secret, a secret it had to remain.

But for now, he'd do whatever it took to keep this going. Even if it was his own personal hell of his own making, the thought of being suddenly Kurt-deprived was awful.

It surprised him how easy it was to fall into this routine. He'd go to football practice, eat dinner, snag a few hours of sleep before meeting Kurt at night. He was just lucky that Mike was occupied with Mercedes so he didn't have to make up answers to awkward questions about why he didn't want to come over.

The only reason he wasn't with Kurt at that very moment was because Mr. Schue had cancelled Glee practice because he'd caught a horrible flu at the Invitational, and Mercedes begged him to critique her song selection for the challenge.

Matt wondered if Kurt still expected him to perform _Being Alive_ next week, but figured if Kurt hadn't brought it up, he wasn't about to. And singing that song, he'd just be so…_naked _in front of everyone like that, and there was no way he could just…lay it all out there for eleven other people to see.

Football practice was _entirely _the wrong place to try and figure out the whole…Kurt-thing.

"RUTHERFORD!" Beiste bellowed when Matt let the football fly past him. "WHAT THE HELL? MY GERIATRIC GRANDMOTHER WITH PARKINSON'S DISEASE HAS BETTER REFLEXES THAN YOU!"

Matt mumbled an apology.

"Gunning for water distribution engineer, Matt?" Sam Evans sneered.

Matt reeeeally really wanted to punch him in the nose for that, beat him to a bloody pulp, in fact. But seeing as being suspended for violence at school was going to result only in bad things, that was not the best course of action. He settled for shooting the jerk a death-glare.

And it _would_ be Evans Matt got stuck with for passing drills.

"So I heard you stood up for my ex the other day," Evans shouted.

Matt just nodded, deciding that silence was golden in this case.

"Think he's still interested in me?"

Matt just shrugged. "I stay out of the drama around here," he said, throwing the ball a little harder than he meant too.

"Dude, if you caught like you passed, you'd be AWESOME! Seriously, you think he'd go for it?"

"Go for what?" Matt asked. The ball sailed from his grip a _little _harder than he meant to, almost hitting the other guy in his head.

"According to my sources, he's been spreading these rumors that we're back together."

.

The ball hit Matt in the head that time.

"Really, dude, take some Ginko or something. You are seriously slipping."

"_I'm really hoping I'm hallucinating, too. You want to run that by me again, you punk?" _Matt wanted to ask, but again, kept his mouth shut.

"Sort of thinking maybe it's not a bad idea. If he really DOES want me back, it'd be nice to have a date for the shin-dig coming up. Seeing as I'm the only other dude around here who goes for sausages as opposed to fish-tacos, that I know of anyway, it kinda makes sense."

"_On what planet? You honestly think he'd want you back after all the shit you've pulled…why, exactly?" _

But all Matt could say was "I don't know man, you'd have to ask _him." _

The guy was _really _starting to get on his last nerve. Maybe it was because of the recent sleep-depravation necessitated by his recent nightly activities, but he'd never wanted to punch someone out more in his _life_. The thing that bugged him the most about the whole situation was that there was nothing he could do to stop Kurt from actually taking Sam _up _on his offer.

Except…well, except doing the one thing he couldn't do. He didn't know if Kurt even _wanted _ an actual relationship. The truth was, he was fairly certain it was just sex for Kurt. Kurt, for his part, never gave Matt any indication that he wanted otherwise.

There was only one thing to do in this type of situation.

He had to blow off some steam.

He tossed the ball in the bin wear it belonged. He couldn't get far away from this jack-ass fast enough, and if Kurt really _was _still interested in that douche, Matt had a date with a punching-bag.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Sorry this chapter is so long in coming. Just reminding everyone that this story was conceived when it was speculated that Sam was Kurt's boyfriend, not Quinn's. Thanks one and all for the author alerts, favorites and reviews! And to Adampascalfan for allowing me to brainstorm and helping with the writer's block!**

**

* * *

**

Matt was usually fairly even-keeled.

Most of the guys on the team would easily get hot-headed and frequently need to blow off steam, and ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, it was easy for Matt to just shrug off whatever was bothering him. He could count on one hand the amount of times he felt like punching the living daylights out of the closest living thing available.

And this was so, SO definitely one of those times.

The worst part of it was, if he thought about it logically for a second, he was pretty sure there was a perfectly explanation as to why Kurt would even bring up Sam Evans in the same context as something as absolutely ridiculous as a stupid high school dance.

But at the moment, he couldn't find any.

The worst part of this whole mess was that he didn't even have any right to be angry in the first place. If Kurt wanted to date Sam, then there wasn't much he could do to stop him. They weren't in a relationship. They met up for _sex_. Well, third base, but still, it was more experience than Matt had ever had. Matt was new at this whole sex-with-guys thing, but there was one VERY important step neither of them had dared to take quite yet.

The only reason he could possibly get this angry over Kurt being with another guy is…

No…that was stupid.

An hour before, Matt had been counting down the hours until their usual meet-up place. And Matt was fairly certain it had nothing to do with emotions. But _God, _did it feel good when Matt was with him. Kurt was an incredible kisser. His lips and his skin were so incredibly soft, and the way Kurt touched _him_ when they were together drove Matt crazy. But that wasn't love. It was just hormones and if Kurt didn't return feelings that probably weren't there to begin with, he had no place putting his heart on the line only to be stomped to bits when it all ended because Kurt didn't return those feelings.

But in the deepest, darkest corners of his soul, if he was absolutely honest with himself, _love_ was the scariest word in the entire English language, and the sooner he got that idea out of his head, the better.

"Dude," came his best friend's voice from behind him. "Who's the punching bag?"

"Nobody," Matt said, still unrelenting in his mercy to the inanimate object.

"Matt, man, I've known you for…how long, now? You don't let much get to you. Did I do something to piss you off?"

That made Matt stop. "Don't worry, Bro, it's not you."

"Then what's got you so riled?"

"Nothing," Matt muttered, resuming pounding the hell out of the punching bag. It swayed and almost hit Mike in the head. Mike caught it and pulled it just out of Matt's reach.

"I call bullshit," Mike said. It was a statement, not a question. "If it were Finn, or Puck I'd leave it alone. I'd just let you blow off your steam to your heart's content. But you're not exactly winning any prizes for quickest temper of the year. So, not letting you off the hook on this one, Bro. Dude, seriously, man…what gives?"

"Can't really talk about it."

"How come?"

"I just don't want to."

"Matt, man, I _know_ what team you're on, dude, and it's not like I care about that. If you've got a problem, I want to help."

Matt remained silent, his gaze unwavering. He wanted more than anything to confide in Mike about this. He really, really needed someone to listen right now. Mike might not have been the best choice when it came to advice in the relationship department, but Mike was his best friend, the person he could trust with almost any secret.

Mike was the only one who knew his biggest secret of all.

Well, besides Kurt.

But if he told Mike, then chances are, Mercedes would find out, and then it would get back to Kurt…and that would be absolute disaster.

"It IS about someone, isn't it?" Mike said, pacing. "I saw you paired up with Sam during practice today…"

"Look, I don't want any drama, okay?" Matt said. Hoping his best friend would back off. _'Shit, say hello to fan.'_

"Did Sam hit on you?" Mike asked.

Matt grinned. "R-O-T-F-L, man. Soooo not even close."

"Are you going to tell me what this is about or am I going to have to water-board you for the truth, here? Seriously, man, since when are you not trusting me with stuff?"

'_Since you started dating my lover's best friend_,' Matt thought, but kept it to himself. Lover? Was THAT what Kurt was? Where the hell did that come from?

"Look, you wanna know the truth? You're right. I'm upset about something Sam said. But he didn't hit on me."

"Well, that's good. Because then I'd have to go all Kung-fu on his ass. Because then he'd be two-timing you with Kurt, and that's a douche-move."

"With Kurt?" Matt asked, suddenly very confused.

"Mercedes found a play-list on his ipod and he's apparently back with the bastard."

"So…that thing Sam said. Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Matt said, picking up a basketball and throwing it to Mike. "Think fast!"

Matt was glad that Mike chose to leave the subject alone and just play some hoops in the gym. Mike didn't press the matter, and Matt was relieved. With both of their evenings otherwise occupied, they hadn't had much time to hang out, and Mike was a good enough friend to back off when necessary.

"If you ever feel like talking about whatever happened today," Mike said as he tossed the ball into the bin where it belonged, "I'm here, man."

Matt nodded.

But there was nothing to talk about.

Kurt was done, and so was he.

* * *

Kurt had obviously moved on to someone else. Someone who was willing to be publically _his_, and so…

Problem solved.

Night came, and Kurt was waiting in their usual spot in the park.

He knew it was stupid to lie to Mercedes about the play-list, but he couldn't just out Matt like that. It wasn't his secret to tell. Matt needed to come to terms with his identity on his own time, in his own terms.

Kurt hadn't texted Matt since earlier that morning, but he had no doubt Matt would come.

A half an hour passed, and still no Matt.

_He's just unable to get out of the house…_

He dug in his pocket for his cell phone and sent probably the first non-explicit text he'd sent to Matt in ages.

"In-box full," was the automated response he received moments later.

Kurt blushed, and made a mental note to remind Matt that he needed to clean his inbox out , because he was hoping to set the record for hottest sexting ever.

Two Matt-less hours later, Kurt had more questions than answers. Why was he so damn _disappointed_ when Matt didn't show up? And it REEEALLY didn't help that he was already _hard _just thinking about the things he and Matt were going to do, about the way Matt felt next to him, and if he was brave enough tonight, or maybe the next time they got drunk together, he'd let slip that what had started as just reeeeally hot sex was turning into something amazing.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Not tonight.

Not ever.

Matt was either too scared to get caught or had gotten what he wanted.

Either way, he was moving on.

And Kurt had to face that reality and do the same.


	17. Chapter 17

"Everyone," Rachel began. "As official Glee Captain, I would like to thank you all for coming to my little impromptu meeting."

"Why the hell did we get dragged out of bed at the ass-crack of dawn?" Puck grumbled.

"Because, Noah, I have a propisition for everyone."

"Are we going to have an orgy? Because I'd totally be up for that." Brittany said.

Santana shook her head. "It's not that kind of proposition, B."

"As you all know by my Facebook status last night, I attended auditions for the bands for the upcoming Snow Ball. Now, I was really, really hoping to get us all another gig, _paid_ gig," she emphasized, "but before I could even offer our services as a suggestion, it became immediately, abundantly clear that, due to politics, the auditions for the band were a mere formality."

"The band for the Snow Ball was pre-determined, and after I heard them, I knew I had to do something. They were worse than David Hasslehoff butchering _This is the Moment. _Worse than Ashlee Simpson's botched cringe-worthy Orange-Bowl appearance after the lip-sync debacle (which, thankfully, is something I know I'LL never have to worry about when I become a star, but that's beside the point). Kurt's rendition of Mellencamp didn't even come close to that level of awful. Sorry Kurt," she said, nodding at the boy who'd just come in.

Kurt only yawned in response.

He was looking so un-Kurtlike was it took her a moment to regain the momentum she had built. His hair was a mess. His eyes were red. He looked like he'd abandoned his skin-care routine. But, Rachel decided, personal issues would have to be dealt with later, this was an emergency.

"Perhaps the only thing higher up on the scale of suckage was a performance by Sanjaya from _American Idol_," she declared. "The _Pants on the Ground_ guy would've been preferable."

"You okay, Kurt?" Mercedes asked, ignoring Rachel's tirade.

"Yeah, Bro," Artie said. "You look like hell."

Kurt sighed and with a nod, took his usual seat.

"Sorry I was late Rachel. Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Kurt, you haven't been sleeping at ALL lately," Finn said.

"He actually fell asleep when we were practicing the other day," Mercedes told him.

"Guys, I'm right here," Kurt said, more than a little annoyed at his friends.

"I KNOW you are not a hot mess because of Sam," Mercedes replied, unable to

"No, it's not Sam," Kurt replied sleepily, unable to stifle the yawn that escaped from his lips.

"You want to talk about it?" Mercedes asked, but Kurt just shook his head, much to Rachel's relief.

"Can we stay on topic please?" Rachel said. "At any rate, the band is clearly sub-par. If any of you need further evidence, I present exhibit A," she said, and pressed play on her laptop. An absolutely atrocious cover of Meatloaf's _Paradise by the Dashboard Light_ played.

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" Artie screamed. "Only Meatloaf has the voice to pull off that song."

"So, are we agreed?" Rachel asked, mercifully clicking off the video. "The Snow Ball is ruined if this is allowed to continue, and I, for one, am not going to stand for it. As God as my witness, my ears will not be assaulted with that noise they have the nerve to call music if it is the last thing I ever do."

"Where's Matt?" Quinn asked, looking around the room, and Kurt perked up for the first time at the mention of Matt's name.

"I called him," Rachel said. "I left him so many messages that his inbox is now full until he purges his inbox. He ignored them."

"Does anyone know if Matt's okay?" Tina asked. "Is he sick or something?"

"Maybe we should swing by his house and check on him after practice today," Finn said.

"Guys!" Mike interrpted. "Can't you all just mind your own business for two freaking seconds?"

"What the HELL is that supposed to mean?" Mercedes exploded.

Mike pursed his lips and bit the inside of his jaw to keep from saying something he'd regret, and sat back down.

"So guys, what do you say?" Rachel asked, ignoring the diversion from the subject at hand. "Are we going to stage a coup?"

"I thought only birds cooed," Brittany said.

"It means take-over," Santana whispered rolling her eyes.

"Oh."

Brittany raised her hand.

"I'm a good enough dancer to carry everyone," Brittany said. "But Mike dancing alone looks sad."

"PATHETIC." Quinn chimed in. "Matt's in on this," she decided. It wasn't a matter of opinion.

"Your choice, mini-me," Santana ranted. "Either Hot Chocolate is in, or we're all out."

"BUT HE CAN'T EVEN SING!" Rachel protested. "He won't know the set-list."

"I've been helping him with that," Kurt blurted out, and when all the girls' eyes were suddenly on him, he instantly regretted, once again, not thinking before he spoke.

"Hold up!" Mercedes said. "You're giving Matt voice lessons? Since when?"

"Since Dayton," Kurt explained. "And if we gave him half a chance, I'd bet he'd get a solo in here, but nobody would give him a shot."

"Since when did you join Team Matt?" Santana grilled.

"And Kurt, the only one who competes _more_ for solos in here besides Rachel is _you_," Quinn pointed out. "So pot, kettle, black, Fashion Police."

"We've been working on something for the Risk challenge," Kurt said a little more defensively than he would've liked.

"I'm confused," Finn said. "I thought we weren't doing the risk challenge anymore."

"I have it on good authority that Mr. Schue will be back tomorrow," Rachel assured them. "He assured me that the challenges will resume as planned. But we have a bigger problem here. We need to discuss a set list and reconvene at a time when the jazz band and Brad's services are both available."

"I'm still confused about the whole Matt can sing part," Finn said.

"Just because he doesn't speak up a lot doesn't mean my boy can't carry a tune," Mike said, unwilling to take his friends bashing his boy. "And will you guys lay off? Why can't you people just mind your own business for once? Since when can't a guy be in a funk around here?"

"Matt's in a funk?" Kurt asked, once again, regretting having opened his mouth.

"Yeah, Kurt, he's in a funk," Mike said, suddenly wondering why Kurt was interested in his best friend's state of mind. "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?" Mike asked, suddenly getting an idea.

Kurt froze. "No…why would I know anything about that."

"Just, uh, thought that maybe he talked to you about his issues, that's all."

'_We didn't exactly TALK'_ Kurt thought ruefully, but for once, stopped his words from actually leaving his mouth. "What issues?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd be able to tell me," Mike said, and then turning to the rest of the group. "I'll make sure to get the message back to Matt. In the meantime, LAY THE FUCK OFF! Mind your own damn business! Work on your own problems for a change!"

"Mike, we're just trying to help," Mercedes defended.

"There's helping and then there's interfering. You guys are interfering. BIG TIME. I mean, if you actually bothered to pay attention to Matt, you might have known that he's upset because of something to do with what Sam said to him a couple of days ago."

"Wait, what?" Finn asked. Kurt wanted to ask that, too, but decided against it.

"What did he say?" Kurt dared.

"I don't know. He won't tell me. I figured he might've…nevermind. I'm outta here."

"Mike," Kurt said, grabbing his bags and running after him. "Are you sure you don't know what Sam said to him?"

Mike shook his head. "Is there something you're not telling me here?" Mike asked.

"No." Kurt said, hoping he was more convincing than he felt.

"If you find out, will you PLEASE let me on it? I'm kind of worried." Kurt nodded as Mike left down the hall.

Kurt's wheels were turning as he made his way to homeroom.

One: Matt was in a funk. Said funk began when they stopped meeting up. If this was the case, maybe there _was _a perfectly logical explanation as to why Matt hadn't showed. Perhaps a perfectly logical explanation that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

Relief began to take over as his steps became lighter than they had in days.

There was that stupid dance coming up on Saturday. Matt was going to be there.

And that left plenty of time to formulate a plan.

A foolproof plan.

Okay, so his foolproof plans usually turned into a bigger disaster than Janet Jackson's Wardrobe Malfunction at the Superbowl, but still, there was hope.

And one thing was for certain, though. If Sam had anything to do with why he'd been so distraught he'd abandoned his skin-care routine, they were going to have to have a little talk.

The rest of the plan, though?

There was plenty of time to come up with that.


	18. Chapter 18

"So, Kurt and I are doing _Footloose _for the dance this Saturday," Mike announced when he came over to give Matt the homework assignments he'd missed that day.

"You and Kurt? Why?"

Mike shrugged. "I dunno. I think it's gonna be pretty sweet though. I'm going to out-Kevin Bacon Kevin Bacon!"

"Again I ask…why?"

"I think the better question is…why not?"

"Why are you partnering with Kurt?"

Mike shrugged. "He asked." And then a look of realization crossed Mike's features. "It's Kurt, isn't it?" Mike asked him as soon as they were out of his parents' earshot. "He's the reason you've been all mopey. He's the reason you got into that fight with Sam," Mike smacked himself on the forehead. "Why didn't I see it before! It makes TOTAL sense now!"

"What? No!" Matt said, but lying had never been one of his strengths.

"Look me in the eye when you say that,"

"It's NOT Kurt," Matt lied again.

"Like hell it's not. You're not looking me in the eyes, you're looking at my nose. And you're doing that weird hand-twitch thing. Come on, man. This is ME you're talking to here."

"There's not much to tell. I think it's pretty obvious that it's over,"

"Okay, have you actually TALKED to him about this? Have you confirmed that? Because dude, he's the only other one whose more of a wreck than you are lately."

"Come again?" Matt asked, unable to wrap his brain around what his best friend had just said.

"At the meeting this morning, Kurt came in looking like shit. Which, come on, it's KURT. That's pretty much a red-letter day right there, right? That guy probably spends more time in the bathroom than all the girls in Glee combined. And then he asked me about you. That's when I put two-and-two together."

"Look, it doesn't matter anyway, Mike. He deserves somebody who can, you know, actually BE his boyfriend. And if you want to know the truth, I don't think that person is me."

"What the hell gave you THAT idea?"

"He's going to the Snow Ball with Sam," Matt said.

"No he's not," Mike replied. "At least he never mentioned it. Was THAT what Sam was talking to you about that day?"

Matt nodded.

"So…ask him."

"Excuse me?"

"Take him to this stupid-ass dance."

"Mike…I can't…"

"And you can't because…"

"I'm just…I'm not ready for the world to know yet."

"Okay first off, NEWSFLASH! Lima is NOT the world. Second off…since when do you CARE what other people think? I thought you were above all that shit."

"I don't…I just…I know what he goes through. You've seen it, too. I walk in that place, I'm not going to be 'that dude on the football team' anymore. I'm going to be 'that guy dating Kurt.'

"Okay, I'm going to ask again…since when do you care about what other people think, Matt? I thought you were above all that shit."

"You know I don't care about that, Mike."

"If you ask me, I think you've got a choice here. You've got to decide which you'd rather be. Either you'll be that guy dating Kurt, or that miserable dude on the football team. Personally, I'd pick the first one, but it's your call."

With that, Mike left.

With a thud, Matt's head hit the headboard of his be and he let out a sigh. He briefly looked at the light-socket, wondering if death-by-electrocution was really such a bad way to go. Why did life have to be so _hard_?

He knew his best friend was right. He just didn't know if he could do it.

Matt was pretty sure there were, in fact, worse places to be in the world than William McKinley High's gymnasium on a Saturday night, but at that moment, he was hard-pressed to think of any.

Because Matt was pretty sure that at that particular point in time, the gym was his own personal hell.

Mostly, it was hell because a certain fashion-conscious counter-tenor was SURE to be there. He sat outside in his Jeep for a good twenty minutes, working up the nerve to actually go in. He could just…not show. It was bad enough having to sing in public, although he wasn't as nervous singing _Dancing in the Street_s with Mike as he was about running into Kurt.

Truth was, Matt had avoided him fairly skillfully this week. Actually being in the same room with Kurt again had happened earlier that week many times; first at Glee rehearsal and then all during the week in the hall. But Kurt was obviously avoiding him, too, because he was fairly sure he could add avoidance to the list of Kurt's many talents. He was pretty sure that if he didn't go in, the world wouldn't end. Rachel could probably fill the entire show with Barbara Streisand numbers she had in her back pocket, so he wasn't really worried about not actually making an appearance.

His phone buzzed with a text from Santana.

"**You'd better have fallen off the face of the earth, because that's the only acceptable reason why your ass wouldn't be here."**

It was the twentieth one asking where he was.

And if Matt had his way that night, they could send him texts until his inbox was filled to capacity.

But it was freezing, and his butt was starting to fall asleep.

"Do you love me?" Kurt could hear Artie singing back stage. The guys all responded with the echoing line, and Kurt was relieved to note that the crowd wasn't even throwing things at them. He glanced out from behind his spot backstage for the tenth time in as many seconds when Mike nearly yanked his arm out of his socket, pulling him off to the side.

"OW!" Kurt yelped.

"Dude!" Mike said, coming up to Kurt. "I know we were supposed to do _Footloose_ next, but I think I'm gonna make an executive decision here."

"What?" Kurt asked, looking out behind the stage curtain for any trace of Matt.

"I don't care what you do, Kurt," Mike said, yanking him back in. "But you've gotta do SOMETHING."

"I have to do what, exactly?"

"You're singing _Let's Hear it for the Boy_," Mike informed him.

"Wait? What?"

"You heard me. You. Are. Singing. To. Matt. Because frankly, I just can't deal with him anymore. Matt's my boy…but this whole sulking thing? Sooo not cool!"

"I can't sing that song!" Kurt almost-squeaked. "Matt's not even out there! And what the hell were you thinking, Mike? HOW THE FUCK DID YOU…never-mind…talking about this when there are people around? BAD IDEA! ASTRONOMICAL LEVELS OF BAD! Somebody could hear you!"

"Like I CARE! He's been out there for a half an hour now and he can't sit in his car forever. He'll come in any minute now. But Kurt, you're fixing this."

"What? How?"

"How do you think? You're singing that damn song! Come on dude, I know you're singing it for Matt and I couldn't be happier for you both, but seriously, you guys are the only ones who can fix this right now."

"Mike, what are you…?"

"You're not the one who has to deal with him when he's all moping and brooding. I do…and HE'S IMPOSSIBLE! You think he doesn't talk now? YOU HAVE NO IDEA! That boy makes the silent treatment AN ARTFORM. And I just can't handle it anymore. So you're making your move."

"Mike, even if I wanted to, this isn't the place! This isn't the time!"

"Like I give a shit. Kurt, like it or not, you are making your move, because I just can't deal with this drama anymore. I am NOT going out there right now. YOU are. And you are going to fix this."

"I sent him a couple of texts. He didn't respond. I can't just lay it all out there when he's clearly not interested!"

"Trust me, Kurt, make a move."

With that, Kurt was left alone back stage.

The crowd had erupted in applause.

Kurt took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment of truth.

All he could do was hope and pray that Matt wasn't actually _out _there, because if he was?

He was about to lay his heart on the line, again. Only this time, instead of just in front of the Glee Club, the whole school was going to be witness to it being broken into bits and pieces because the person he was singing his heart out to couldn't care less.

Again.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Thanks to Swing Girl at Heart for the choreography! Also, so sorry this chapter was so long coming! **

**

* * *

**

Usually, just before Kurt took the stage, his heart always raced. His palms were always sweaty, and he always made sure that he had at least a half a Xanax on his person just in case the anxiety got too much. But this time, it was different. This time, it wasn't about showing off, or besting Rachel Berry out of a solo. This time, it actually counted.

When he was with Matt, they were never a we or an us. The need for such restrictions just never came up. When he was with Matt, he knew how he felt. He knew that he wanted to feel that way for as long as humanly possible. This last week when he'd been Matt-deprived, when he had convinced himself Matt had moved on, it was worse than when he'd been heartbroken by Finn, ten times worse than what Sam had done to him, and he never wanted to feel that way again in his life.

But if Mike was just jumping to conclusions (because he figured Matt wasn't exactly the type to talk about…that…with anybody, even his best friend), or Matt wasn't even OUT there, then this was just stupid. He'd be laughed off the stage. Even though he'd never be at the top of the social heap, even the benefits of being Finn's almost-brother couldn't spare him the abject humiliation that was sure to come if this plan didn't work.

Since when has a plan of yours ever actually worked a nagging voice inside his head demanded.

It was too late now.

Finn, Artie, and the rest of the guys were singing the last chord of their rendition of Do You Love Me? And the crowd, much to Kurt's surprise, had just erupted in thunderous applause. They were in a good mood. That was a good thing.

He told the nagging voice to shut up, took a deep breath and braced himself.

But this was for Matt. Matt, the quiet boy who nobody bothered to notice. Matt, who was sweet, and braver than he doubted even Matt himself knew. And damn it, people needed to know it.

Too bad he couldn't actually sing it to Matt per se, but he had to do something if Matt was, in fact, out there. ]

Kurt's heart was in his throat as he stood in front of the class. They were all staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to do something, but he was having a hard time hearing the band over the blood roaring in his ears. Finally, he sensed that it was time for him to start singing, or they really WOULD ruin his white tuxedo with rotten produce, so he did.

"_My baby, he don't talk sweet - he ain't got much to say._"

The reactions were instantaneous. Mercedes face-palmed, Matt's eyes widened, and the rest of them just looked mildly uncomfortable. It was too late to go back, though, so Kurt lifted his chin and maintained the vocals. "But he loves me, loves me, loves me; I know that he loves me anyway."

Oh, God, this was definitely a bad idea. Even Mr. Figgins was picking up on the awkwardness.

"_And maybe he don't dress fine, but I don't really mind_," Kurt continued, his cheeks flushing beet red. "_Because every time he pulls me near, I just want to cheer. Oh, let's hear it for the boy! Let's give the boy a hand! Let's hear it for my baby! You know you got to understand."_

It was obvious that Mercedes thought Kurt was singing this for Sam, because Mercedes was glaring at the golden-haired boy as though she wanted murder him right then and there. Kurt made a mental note to tell Mercedes the truth after tonight and come clean once and for all. He wouldn't have minded if Sam fell off the face of the earth, but if his best friend got put in jail for flying into a murderous rage because he had to keep Matt's secret? He didn't think he could live with himself.

"_Whoa, maybe he's no Romeo, but he's my loving one-man show. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's hear it for the boy!_" Kurt saw Puck snort out of the corner of his eye. _"My baby may not be rich - he's watching every dime - but he loves me, loves me, loves me, and we always have a real good time."_

"_And maybe he sings off-key, but that's all right by me."_ Matt looked mildly offended at that and Mike shot his best friend a smirk. _"Because what he does so well makes me want to yell."_

By this point Puck was struggling very hard to keep his laughter down and his mouth in a straight line. He only succeeded in looking constipated.

_"Maybe he's no Casanova - still his kisses knock me over!" _

It wasn't going horribly. Granted, people weren't exactly enthusiastic about the performance, but they weren't yelling or throwing things either. But then, two of the absolute worst of all possible things happened at once. One, Sam managed to find a spot on the floor and began singing along to the words, swaying in time with the song. And two? Matt abandoned his spot on the far back wall he was leaning against, threw his arms up and made his exit.

'_This is not happening!'_ Kurt wanted to scream, but it was the middle of the performance, and that would be EXTREMELY bad showmanship. WAAAY worse than any Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction could ever be. He felt his heart sink and he wanted nothing more than to go after him, but he forced himself to remain in place and finish the last chorus. _"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's hear it for the boy! Hear it for my man. Let's hear it for my baby, let's hear it for the boy!"_

And just like that, it was over. The last note sounded, and Kurt only ducked his head in a quick bow. He wanted to drag Matt off to the nearest dark and out-of-the-way spot to clear the air and then go back to doing their usual nightly activity. But as an ambivalent, polite clap trickled throughout the gymnasium, Matt was bolting for the door.

Matt was gone. The message had been received, but, Kurt was beginning to realize, Matt wasn't interested.

But Kurt needed answers, and he made his way across the gymnasium and out the door after the boy who'd just torn his heart into little shreds.

His heart might've been broken, but he needed answers.

* * *

"Damn!" Matt swore as he realized the car was not going to start without the use of a jumper cable. And seeing as nobody else was outside and he wasn't about to text Mike for help, considering the fact that both Mercedes and Mike hadn't made an appearance in a half an hour, and he was pretty sure they were in a broom closet somewhere doing something he'd rather not think about at the moment.

It was probably Karma, Matt decided. Matt didn't want to admit it, but the reason he couldn't handle being in that room while Kurt sang that song was because he knew that Kurt, in his own way, was telling him that his feelings were real. And that…was just something he couldn't handle, even if he knew he might've felt him too.

Although it wasn't that he was being exactly mean, he was just…SO damn confused he didn't know which way was up at the moment. Kurt was with him. Then he was with Sam. And now he wants him back? It just…made no sense whatsoever.

Luckily he remembered to charge his cell phone and dialed 411 for a cab company and called one to take him home. The cab had just pulled up and he was about to get in when he heard his name being called.

"Matt!"

He didn't know why, but Matt closed it back shut and stood, arms folded, leaning against it. "

Look, you don't owe me an explanation, but still…could you just tell me why?"

"Why what?" Matt asked.

"Why did you call it off?" Kurt asked, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice, but failing miserably.

"Are you kidding me!" Matt exploded. "Do you really need me to spell it out for you?"

"Look, it doesn't matter…forget I asked."

"No, not really. You apparently want the guy who treated not only YOU like crap, but Finn, too. And now, all of a sudden, you're freaking serenading me? What planet are you on, Kurt? In what parallel universe does THAT make any kind of sense? In what kind of context is any part of that supposed to be okay?"

"I don't…" Kurt began, obviously completely confused. "What?"

"You want to be with Sam?" Matt said in a low, furious tone. "Fine. That's your choice, but don't expect me to…"

"Sam?" Kurt interrupted, jaw dropping. "What in the WORLD gave you that idea?"

"You CAME here with him."

"No." Kurt said simply, daring to step closer. "I...Matt, for someone as intelligent as you are, you're starting to sound as confused as Brittany"

"You didn't?" Matt asked, stepping closer still.

"No," Kurt repeated. "Are you taking Vitamin D again?"

"No…" Matt replied, unable to suppress the grin that had escaped to his lips at this little revelation.

"So…" Kurt cleared his throat. "just to clear this little misunderstanding up. Why did you come here? You don't usually come to these things."

Matt rubbed the back of his neck. "I wanted to see…I wanted an explanation. "And Sam?" Matt asked breathlessly, close enough to be touching, but not quite ready to reach out just yet.

"A non-issue," Kurt said, letting out a shaky sigh and looking at the ground. "So…let me get this straight. You thought Sam and I…"

Matt nodded, feeling like an absolute idiot and lighter than he'd felt in a long time.

"Just to clear things up," Kurt said, daring to take Matt's hand in his. "I don't want Sam back."

Their eyes locked and Matt's thumb made soft circles on Kurt's hand.

Kurt closed his eyes and bit his lip to keep the impulse to kiss the other boy at bay. There was a cab-driver right there, after all, and it was a school dance. Anyone could sneak out back at any given moment.

But Matt was apparently unable to fight the same impulse any longer. His large hands moved up to cup Kurt's face and he pulled the other boy in for a white-hot kiss that made Kurt wonder how it was possible he was even able to stand. Kurt reciprocated in kind, hands snaking around Matt's waist, moving up his back, tracing his broad shoulders with his fingertips through the thin cotton of his t-shirt until they finally rested on his biceps.

"You wanna get out of here?" Kurt asked breathlessly when the need for air finally forced him to pull away, resting his head on Matt's chest.

"Might be a good plan. Our usual?"

Kurt looked up at him and shook his head. "I've got a better idea. My dad thinks I'm staying with Mercedes tonight."

Matt grinned. "And my parents think I'm crashing at Mike's. We could get a hotel."

Kurt shook his head. "I've got a better idea. There's this place the next county over my dad inherited from Mom's side of the family. With the economy and all, he hasn't been able to sell it. It's not much, but it's got a couple of bedrooms and a fireplace."

Matt pulled a five-dollar bill out of his wallet and handed it to the cab-driver. "Sorry man…I've got a ride."

"Yes you do," Kurt said with a grin and fished his keys out of his pocket.

With a squeal of the tires, the cab sped away.

And just like that, the worst night of Matt's life was promising to be one of the most amazing he'd ever had.


	20. Chapter 20

Life had definitely taken a turn for the interesting. Half an hour ago, Matt was pretty sure that kissing Kurt was definitely not on his to-do list, but at that moment, as they were making progress fogging up the windows in Kurt's Navigator, Matt was pretty sure he never wanted to stop.

As it was, Matt was already getting painfully hard and he could tell by the growing bulge in the other boy's skin-tight white tuxedo pants that Kurt was probably getting there as well.

"Matt," Kurt whispered, nibbling on his earlobe. "You have to strap in."

"Um…I don't know if I'm ready for kinky stuff just yet," Matt said, but his eyelids were getting heavy as Kurt's hands moved lower and Kurt's tongue worked its magic on his collarbone.

He pushed Matt back. "No…I mean…if you don't strap in, I could get a ticket for having a passenger not strapped in, and my dad will kill me for the hike in the insurance, and if you don't sit…over there," he said, kissing him soundly one last time before regretfully pulling away. "I'm not going to be able to stop. And I reeeeally don't want to have to explain to my dad why I needed to get my baby detailed. Plus, I think a stop at the drugstore is in order. We need to leave now if we're going to make it before it closes. I mean, if you don't want to…we can just…but you know, we could just go and get snacks. I mean, nothing that makes a mess or gives us bad breath…I…"

Matt just laughed. "Kurt, it's okay," the other boy told him, steeling a glance at him and chancing a reassuring touch on his shoulder.

"I'll shut up now."

"I've got one in my wallet."

Kurt's eyes grew wide at that little revelation.

"I would have used slightly more…hands-on ways of shutting you up. But you don't want to mess up your car."

Kurt visibly swallowed.

"You shouldn't be so shocked! Being a friend of Puck's you learn to be prepared for these types of situations. And uh, it's kinda been in my wallet since Freshman year," Matt admitted. "I was beginning to think it'd never get used at all."

"So you just got one of those flavored ones from a vending machine in a bathroom somewhere in hopes that you'd get lucky?" Kurt found himself asking as he turned out of the parking-lot.

"Actually, it's been in there since the day a couple of my stupid-ass teammates decided to throw pee-balloons at you. I just…I couldn't do it. I was just starting to figure out what I was, and I knew how I'd feel if it were _me_. So I put it in my wallet and I've been saving it for a rainy day ever since."

Kurt reached out for Matt's hand and took it in his own. "I'm proud to call a few of those pee-balloon throwers my friends now. I wouldn't have held it against you if you had."

"Was it really scary?"

"Was what really scary?"

"Telling everyone," Matt said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Terrifying," Kurt admitted. "Mercedes was the first person I told, and I'd never actually…said it out loud to anyone before her. And then when I told my dad, I didn't know how he'd react. I fully expected him to kick me out and that would be that. I didn't know what Mr. Schue or everyone in Glee would think of me. But I think it helped that people knew what I was before I did, so the revelation that I was gay wasn't exactly a newsflash. But once I admitted the truth, things weren't easier exactly, but I wasn't lying to myself anymore. I wasn't pretending anymore."

"I mean, I've told Mike already," Matt said after a long while. "I've told my parents."

"So what's the big deal?"

"You know who told me about you and Sam going to that stupid dance together?"

Kurt shook his head.

"Mike. Who found out from Mercedes. Who was informed…"

"By me. I was protecting you."

"I know."

"Matt, I thought we cleared that up."

"Kurt, if we were…a thing you know, like Rachel and Finn, like Mike and Mercedes, we wouldn't have had this problem. So, the logical solution here is to become a…well… a 'thing'."

"I since a big 'but' coming…"

"And here's the but…" Matt said with a sigh. "You need a guy who will hold hands with you going down the hall. You need someone to double-date with Finn and Rachel at Breadsticks. You need a date to prom. And I _want_ to be those things for you. But I just…"

"Hey," Kurt said, squeezing Matt's hand as they pulled up to the CVS pharmacy. "I get it. It's big. You need time to deal. Coming to terms with who you are is no small thing, and everyone who wrestles with this problem deserves to tell people in their own way, in their own time. And as for what I need…aren't I the best judge of that?"

Getting the door open to the cabin would be a HELL of a lot easier if Kurt could get his hands to stop shaking for two seconds. Matt took one of Kurt's hands in his and that, oddly, steadied him enough so he could manage to open the door.

"You're nervous," Matt said. "Why?"

"I HONESTLY don't know. You're so…I just want it to be amazing."

Matt laid a finger on his lips and kissed him hard. They fumbled their way onto the covered couch that was too hard to be comfortable and too short to stretch out on and smelled of mothballs and cigarette smoke, but neither boy could actually be bothered to care.

"One would think _you're_ the virgin here," Matt said with a grin as he fumbled with Kurt's tie.

"You're not nervous?" Kurt asked, eyelids getting heavy as Matt all but broke every single buttons off of Kurt's starched tuxedo shirt, hands running down his chest nipping at the curve of skin over Kurt's collarbone.

"I've seen enough porn online to know how this goes…" Matt said, kissing down Kurt's chest. "And to imagine us doing those things. Besides. So far?" He said unzipping Kurt's pants. "Familiar territory," he said. "And I'm…gonna stop talking now," he said, gripping Kurt's dick firmly and sliding up and down his length as he kissed Kurt furiously.

"Good idea," Kurt wanted to mumble as Matt kissed further and further down his chest, but all that came out was a soft whimper.

Hours later, the couch was starting to dig into Matt's side and under any other circumstance, Matt would've extrapolated himself from the tangle of limbs he currently found himself in so he could use the bathroom, but Kurt was sleeping so peacefully, he just couldn't risk disturbing the boy who was currently in his arms.

He ran an absent finger up and down Kurt's spine, trying to process what just happened. No amount of porn or sex scenes could have prepared him for the experience of the real thing.

There was one thing Matt was sure of right then and there, was that he was in trouble. BIG freaking trouble. And Kurt was the only person he could talk to about this kind of problem, but Kurt was asleep…so he just decided to take advantage of a captive audience.

"I just want you to know this has been, without a doubt, the most amazing night of my life. And it's amazing because...I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you, for some inexplicable reason, seem to want me as much as I want you, and that's never happened to me before. Ever. And I know for you, it might just be sex. And that's fine if it is, and I know it's pathetic to say this after…what we just did…but if I don't say it now, you're going to hear it and then I won't say it all." He took a deep breath. "I'm not the kind of guy to just…jump into things head-first. I don't do anything without a LOT of planning. I'm a bit of a loner. I'm a total geek. But for some reason, you're kind of in my system and now I can't go back. But here's the thing. I'm in love with you. I love that you've turned my life upside down. It was back to normal last week, and…it sucked. And…yeah. One of these days, we'll be a real couple. Hand-holding down the hall, Breadsticks, Prom, the whole nine yards. I'm telling them next Glee practice. And then you can turn my life upside down all you want."

With that, Matt closed his eyes and drifted off to the best sleep he'd had since this whole thing began.


	21. Chapter 21

"So, how's life?" Mike asked Matt when he picked him up that morning. "I tried to call and see if you wanted to come over for a little _Assassin's Creed_, but you weren't answering your phone."

"Sorry Bro…" Matt said a little distractedly.

"Everything okay, man?"

"Fine. I just…I think…I don't know, Mike…" Matt sighed. He knew he wasn't making sense, but Mike didn't seem to mind. "It's so messed up, you know?"

Mike nodded, even though he didn't really know what his best friend was talking about at all.

"I think I've gotta say something," Matt finally admitted.

"Say what, Matt?"

"I'm telling them at practice today."

Mike just nodded and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Now things were starting to make sense.

"You don't have to worry about the glee guys, Matt," Mike reminded him. "They'll be cool about it."

"Oh, I know _that. _It's the rest of the McKinley population that worries me."

"It'll be fine. Just give them a few days to get over the shock. Then they'll move on to the next big scandal."

"I just wish that glee came at the beginning of the day. Then the waiting wouldn't be so bad."

"It'll be fine, Matt. Trust me."

Matt nodded. He wished he could believe Mike, but there was a big part of him that just couldn't buy that.

At all.

So far, Mike Chang's day was less-than-eventful. I mean, as uneventful as the day his best friend coming out of the closet could be. Most people wouldn't be able to tell there was anything going on with his unusually quiet companion, but Mike knew he was nervous as hell. That hand-shaking thing gave it away every time, and not even a good game of paper football during English class was going to make Matt feel better.

At least Matt was in a better mood. If Mike were honest with himself, other than the whole nervous thing, Matt seemed to be happier than he'd seen him in, well, pretty much ever. And he didn't have to ask his best friend why. Mike, for his part, was glad.

So he shouldn't have been exactly SURPRISED to find Kurt and Matt in a lip-lock in the locker room during fifth period, but that somehow wasn't on the top of the list of things he expected to witness that day.

He started to say something and get their attention, but it was fairly clear that those two were in their own little world, and so he just made his exit, and nearly ran into Sam Evans.

"Don't go in there," Mike warned.

"Why the hell not?"

"Uhhhhh, fumigating?" Mike said. But he wished his lying skills didn't suck as epically as they did, because it did nothing to stop Sam from barreling through the door.

"Shit!" Mike swore under his breath. He knew that Matt and Kurt were towards the back of the lockers. That was their only saving grace. If he texted Matt and let him know to get the hell out in time, maybe….

His fingers flew over the keyboard. He wanted to go in there more than anything and help Matt and Kurt out, because he knew that whatever Sam was going to do to them, it wasn't going to be good.

"_**Get the hell out of there, Bro. Douche-alert! Douche-alert!" **_

He pressed send. But not before Sam could be heard talking on the other side of the door.

He had two detentions already this semester. If he went in there, he was ninety-nine point nine percent positive that it would get him a one-way ticket to detention hall again. One more, and he'd be benched for the rest of the season. He didn't give a rat's ass about that.

Whatever was going to happen would happen. His best friend was worth it.

"Well, Rutherford, should I save you a spot on the McKinley Float at the Pride Day Parade?" Sam drawled.

Kurt froze, but Matt stepped forward. Sam continued to talk, though. "Wait until Jacob Ben-Israel gets this juicy little tidbit," Sam said, snapping their picture on his cell phone. "Get the guest-list ready for your coming out party, dude, because it's gonna be EPIC!"

"Sam! Don't!" Kurt pleaded.

"Who's gonna stop me?" Sam taunted, pressing a few buttons. "One little click, that's all it takes…Ohhhh man, this is going to be fun watching this particular shit-storm unfold! And I am the luckiest dude on the planet because I have the front seat! This is going to be AWESOME!"

"I am," Matt told him, stepping between Sam and Kurt. "Give me the phone," Matt ordered.

"Ummm, I'm thinking no," Sam replied. "You know with these new phones, you'd think that it wouldn't take as long to load graphics, but I guess technology STILL has a ways to go…"

"Give. Me. The. Phone," Matt repeated.

"Sam, please…" Kurt begged.

"Damn, Kurt, it's been awhile since I've heard you beg. Tell you what…I'll just unzip my pants, and you can get down on your knees, and maybe I can forget that the picture ever existed."

Kurt found himself nodding. "Tell Mr. Schue I'll be a little late," he said, eyes never leaving the floor.

"No…" Matt said in an almost-whisper. "Don't…I was going to tell them in Glee today anyway."

"No," Kurt shook his head. "Sam's trying to force your hand here and I'm not going to let that happen."

"I can't let you do this, Kurt…come on, let's just get out of here."

"I'll be fine. Just go!"

"I'm not leaving," Matt insisted.

"I think you are, actually," Mike said, suddenly bursting throught he door. His clenched fists and tense posture indicated he was ready to add his name to this particular fight, but his tone was still cool and even without even a hint of agitation.

With one swift motion, Mike's foot made contact with Sam's groin, making the blonde double over and drop his phone, which landed within a couple of inches from Kurt's foot, who took no time to squash it as though it were a bug.

"You owe me a new phone!"

"Send me the bill," Kurt said. "Come on, we'll all be late."

"THIS ISN'T OVER!" Sam shouted. "RUTHERFORD, GET READY TO BE FRONT PAGE NEWS!"

"I think it is," Matt said, looking over his shoulder as the three boys left.


	22. Chapter 22

"Well, gang," Mr. Schue was saying when Kurt, Matt and Mike finally made their way to the choir room. "Now that we're all here, let me just say…it's good to be back. I know we've lost a week and I know you had your assignments ready to go, but Regionals will be upon us in no time at all, and we need to start putting our heads together and come up with a set-list. So we'll have a couple of people take their turns on their assignment, then we'll switch gears. Who wants to start?"

"Actually, Mr. Schue," Rachel said, raising her hand. "I have something to say."

Mr. Schue sighed, but allowed her to continue.

"Now that we're all here, I have to congratulate everyone on the coup of the Snow Ball."

"Wait, coup?" Mr. Schue questioned.

"We pretty much took over the band at the Winter Formal," Finn explained.

Smiling, Rachel nodded. "And from the feedback I've received, it appears that it was a rousing success. Everyone gave spectacular performances. Everyone, that is, except Kurt."

"My performance was flawless," Kurt snapped. "It's not MY fault that the majority of the population of McKinley has all the open-mindedness of Sarah Palin."

"It wouldn't have been a problem if you'd stuck to the set-list, Kurt," Rachel retorted.

"Hey, he changed songs because I asked him too," Mike butt in.

"You Don't. Go. Off. Set-list," Rachel insisted.

"It was a solo performance," Kurt insisted. "The band already had the music. I was going to do it later in the evening, I just had to switch up the order." Kurt's voice was shrill now.

"Look, I know it's difficult for you to comprehend," Mercedes said, standing up in her seat, "but NOBODY died and made you boss. Now back the hell off."

"Woah," Mr. Schue began, standing up now, beginning to step in front of Rachel to stop the argument, but Rachel was already whirling around to face Kurt.

"Need I remind everyone that due to the disaster, Kurt, you apparently fled the premises, leaving us to scramble to find a replacement song?"

"Oh please," Kurt spat back. "Like you didn't have a Barbara Streisand medley in your back pocket! Or twelve."

"While true, it's poor showmanship, Kurt. I thought you were better than that."

"Hey, at least I never quit because Mr. Schue didn't bow down to my 'greatness'," he said, accentuating the last word with finger-quotes. "Of the two of us here, who's the one always storming out whenever SHE doesn't get her way? And you want to be professional, Liza Minelli? Try, I don't know, NOT doing a performance of _Born Again_."

"Don't you DARE compare me to Liza Minelli, Austin Scarlet!"

"Austin Scarlet? AUSTIN SCARLET?" Kurt roared, voice reaching a pitch that Matt was pretty sure was going to shatter the trophy wall in the back of the choir room. "You're complaining about me comparing you to Liza Minelli, but oh my GOD? Austin? Austin Scarlet sent ONE look down the runway and now he's a reality-show has-been."

"Right, and you're a Never-Will-Be if you can't follow the fucking set-list."

Everyone, including Kurt, jumped a little bit at Rachel's use of the swear word. Judging from her expression, Rachel seemed a bit surprised by the slip herself.

Rachel sighed. "Look, I'm sorry if I was out of line, Kurt, but you can't just…decide you're going off-book like that. Not without checking with everyone else first."

"Well, EXCUSE ME, Rachel. Who died and made you Queen?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "I am Glee Club Captain. That affords me certain rights and privileges. I was chosen as leader, and it is my right and duty to exercise authority as I see fit."

"You just like bossing everyone around," Santana said with a completely bored expression on her face.

"Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but the only reason you were voted Glee Club Captain," Quinn spoke up for the first time, "Was because NOBODY ELSE wanted to be in that stupid year book photograph."

"Guys, come on…" Mr. Schue began as an attempt to regain control. "Can we please just calm down? We don't have the time to waste here."

Rachel would've raised her hand again and gone first as usual, but rehearsal was interrupted by the presence of an intruder.

"This is a closed rehearsal, Jacob," Rachel huffed.

"G-T-F-O, you little weasel," Santana said, standing up and folding his arms, moving to stand in between the door and Rachel.

"Fine," Jacob squeaked, "oppress the peoples' right to know. Go ahead. Kill the first amendment rights. Squelch the Constitution of the United States. Ignore the very foundation that this country is built on. But know this," he threatened like a little terrier who couldn't do any REAL damage but envisioned himself the size of a Rottweiler; "I am not going to rest until I get the truth."

"What do you want, Jacob?" Santana demanded, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm doing an exposé," he said, pressing the button on his tape recorder.

"You can ask your questions after rehearsal, Jacob," Mr. Schue asked, beyond annoyed at the intrusion. "But Rachel's right, you really shouldn't be in here."

Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He could feel Kurt tense next to him and Mike just laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I have become aware of certain…scandals that, when brought to the light of day, would raise eyebrows among the conservative majority that make up the student body. It would make Larry Craig look like an episode of _Seseme Street_, so I guess it's more of a sexposé, actually. On the Athletics Department."

'_Oh. No.' _Matt panicked. He could feel Mike's grip tighten on his shoulder. His life was about to be turned upside down, ruined. He could kiss his anonymity goodbye. Any minute now, he was about to be the talk of the town. How the hell did Sam get to Jacob so fast? That didn't matter, he supposed. All he could do was watch and wait for the shit to hit the fan.

But the shit-storm that he had been so certain was inevitable never came.

"Pffft," Puck began. "I got Quinn knocked up." Quinn opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. "Santana and Brittany go at it like bunnies every now and then. Sue Sylvester's blackmailing Figgins. Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury had a thing going for awhile, but that's cooled off. So unless you want a patriotic wedgie in the morning? Or better yet, what if I let that sex tape you made with Zizes go viral? Get the hell out before you make a mess all over the floor."

Jacob squeaked, and left.

Figuring rehearsal was pointless by now, Mr. Schue dismissed them all, telling them to prepare for extra work next meeting to make up for lost time.

"I'll fix this," Kurt told Matt as soon as everyone left the practice room.

"Kurt. NO."

"Matt, it's okay…it'll just take a few minutes and then it'll be over."

"It's not okay with _me. _Let's face it…most people will be all 'Matt who?' if Jacob really does release that story. I'm fine with whatever happens."

"You DO care about what happens. You wouldn't have kept it a secret this long if you didn't. You're…" Whatever Kurt was about to say died in his throat as the door swung open and Rachel barged in.

"I forgot my music…" Rachel said quietly, glancing from Kurt to Matt and then back to Kurt.

Kurt and Matt exchanged panicked expressions.

Rachel's eyes widened. "Kurt…I…" she faltered. "I'm sorry about earlier. I got carried away. And Matt, I just wanted you to know that…"

But Rachel didn't get to complete her sentence. Matt was out the door.

"Matt I'm…your secret's safe with me," Rachel told him.

"It's not my secret," Kurt replied, getting his messenger bag. "It's Matt's."

"Kurt, I know that look. It's your 'I've-Got-A-Plan' look. You and plans have a rather…trying history, and if you need someone to talk things out with, I'm willing to listen."

"I promised Matt time," Rachel told her as he made his way to the door. "And if I have anything to do with it, that's exactly what he's going to get."


	23. Chapter 23

"Well, hey stranger," Mercedes said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She was leaning against the side of Kurt's Navigator, and it was clear that she wasn't exactly happy with him. Not that he could blame her for that, exactly. He'd made quite a mess of things lately, and he'd been blowing her off a lot more than he had when he was occupied with Sam.

" 'Cedes, you know I'd love nothing more than a good gossip session, but now's REALLY not a good time."

"I'm not here to gossip," Mercedes told him, narrowing her eyes. "And don't you 'Cedes me! Kurt, you're in a really big hurry. Where are you going? Rushing off to see Sam, perhaps?"

"Uh, yeah, actually," Kurt said.

"Kurt Elijah Hummel," Mercedes began. "I KNOW you are NOT about to lower yourself to go crawling back to Sam Evans. That boy is not worthy to scrape the mud off of your Doc Martens. And you're an even bigger fool for crawling back to him! I thought you had more self-respect than that. I thought you were a better person than that. I was wrong."

"It's not what you think!" Kurt protested.

"Then tell me! What is it then, because I don't know how it can possibly be anything else!"

"Sam kind of walked in on me and Matt in the locker-room and…" Kurt gasped and clasped his hand over his mouth. "Ohhhh, crap, that was out loud wasn't it."

"You and Matt? You? And MATT? As in OUR Matt? As in Matt Tall-Dark-and -Silent Rutherford?"

"A little louder, Baby-Girl. I don't think people in CHINA heard you. He's kind of trying to keep that private. Which is why I was going to Sam to try and talk him out of going to Jacob Ben-Israel about the whole thing…wait…so Mike didn't tell you?"

Mercedes shook her head and hugged him. "Baby, is that what this was all about? This whole time? How long has it been going on?"

"Since the Invitational in Toledo," he finally sniffled.

"So…last week, when you came into the meeting looking like a hot mess and then that last-minute set-list change at the dance? It was all for Matt?"

Kurt nodded.

"Kurt, why couldn't you just TELL me?"

"You haven't exactly been…available lately," Kurt said with a sniff. "That, and I had…I have to protect Matt. He deserves to tell people on his own terms, and if Jacob outs him…" Kurt shook his head.

Mercedes laid a hand on his shoulder and brushed a fringe of bangs from his forehead. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm just relieved you're not back with that piece of crap excuse for a human being. But Kurt, you DO realize you deserve someone who's brave enough to be your guy. And if Matt needs to keep this a secret, he's not man enough for you."

"Don't you think I…"

But Mercedes put a hand over his mouth to shush him. "If Matt was brave enough to be honest with himself the way you are, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"He was going to make the announcement today in rehearsal."

"Oh man…and you were going to Sam's to…"

Kurt just shook his head. "We had an…arrangement."

"What _kind_ of an arrangement?" Mercedes demanded.

"Look, can we talk about this later?"

"If you think you're off the hook yet, you're SOOOO completely wrong."

"It's MY life," he said, putting a hand up to quiet her. "And this is none of your business," he finished stiffly, fishing his keys out of his bag.

"You're my best friend, Kurt. That makes it my business."

"I can handle this, Mercedes."

"You sure?"

"YES," he huffed, and with a beep the doors were unlocked. "Now if you don't' mind…"

"He'd better be worth it," Mercedes said, finally moving from her spot.

Kurt just nodded. "I'll let you know what happens, okay?" he promised and hugged her.

"Good, because if you keep me in the dark any more, I'll take your new favorite Marc Jacobs sweater and leave it near a candle next time Finn and Rachel have a cozy candle-light dinner planned."

"You wouldn't! You KNOW how hard it is to get wax out of organic wool! And you know Finn and flames are generally a very BAD combination!"

She grinned. "I may be slightly preoccupied these days, Kurt, but I've still got your number. And don't you ever forget it."

"As if I could, Baby-girl," he said, giving her another hug. "NOW can I go? Please?"

She nodded. "Just don't do anything stupid."

* * *

The buzzing from his phone was almost enough to shake him out of the current on-coming panic attack. If it had been from anyone but Matt, he would've ignored it.

"**Where are you?"**

It was a simple question, but like he was going to tell Matt that he was on his way to his ex-boyfriend's house. Not that anything had to go on at said boyfriend's house per se. The talk with Mercedes had definitely given him some perspective.

'It'll be okay,' Kurt told himself for what had to be the twentieth time as he turned the familiar street into Sam's neighborhood. He felt the damnably familiar feeling of panic settle in the pit of his stomach. Counting to ten, he took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, but his heart rate wasn't getting slower any time soon.

He stole another glance down at the phone and with a sigh, sent a reply:

"**I'll call you later."**

Steeling himself, he was about to turn the phone off and go inside, but it buzzed again.

"**That doesn't answer the question."**

He turned it off and threw it in the passenger seat.

He rang the doorbell.

He could live with himself, he was pretty sure, if he went through with this…but could Matt? Of course Matt never _said_ anything about feelings, but the fact that Matt was quite possibly jealous of Sam that night at the dance spoke volumes. Kurt was beyond sure that Matt was worth doing pretty much anything for, even if that meant sleeping with his ex.

That night in the cabin, he was pretty sure that it meant something. He had to stop himself short of blurting out 'I love you' a couple of times that night, and he knew it was crazy, but he also knew that he'd meant every bit of what he almost said.

He knew it wouldn't _mean_ anything with Sam. It meant something with Matt, but that didn't necessarily mean that it meant anything to Matt. But if Matt couldn't look at him the same way after this was over? He knew what it was like to be Matt-less, and he didn't want that again any time soon.

And so that was why, when Sam opened the door, the first words out of his mouth were:

"I'm not having sex with you!"

"So you're here because…?" Sam asked, giving him a totally dismissive look.

"You want to tell Jacob about what you saw, fine. But the rest of the glee club will deny it, and you have no proof except from that cell phone."

"Whatever, man…you should've taken your chance to help you and your boyfriend's situation when you had the chance. Guess what, bro. Too late!" He said, and almost slammed the door in Kurt's face, but Kurt managed to force it open.

"Sam, I was going to try and appeal to your humanity, but yeah, that's not going to happen mostly because you just EPICALLY SUCK. So I'm just going to resort to threats."

"With what, your secret ninja skills?" Sam smirked.

"A year ago, I couldn't have said that I have pull with the football team," Kurt began. "If they just ignored me, it was a good day. But now, it's different. Now, some of those very same guys who used to make life a living hell for me are now like family. You've messed with my family long enough, Sam. Look, we ALL know HOW you got the Quarterback position, and I can make sure the coach and Principal Figgins know it, too."

"You have no proof," Sam stammered.

"I have more proof than you. I have Finn, Puck, and the rest of New Directions to back me up."

"You can't just…"

"Try me," Kurt said.

With that, he walked away, and it was all he could do to keep himself from fist-pumping the air in triumph until he was in the safety of the tinted windows of his Navigator.

He came home to find the house blissfully empty. There was a note from his dad saying that he was out on a date with Carole, and Finn was either at Puck's or Rachel's. He made himself a quick salad for dinner and took it downstairs to the basement and turned on his computer and logged onto Facebook, on the chance that Matt was online because he really didn't feel like going out to the car to get his phone.

That's when he saw it.

There, at the top of the computer screen, was a new status update from Sam.

"*sings* I've got a secret…."

The panic that had only just abated from earlier came back with a vengeance. He felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest. He tried breathing techniques, his usual mantras, which normally helped when he felt panic attacks come on, but nothing was working.

He found his Xanax, and with shaking hands, finally managed to get the bottle open. It wasn't working. It was the smallest dose of Xanax available, and one more really couldn't hurt.

But nothing was helping.

The house of cards he and Matt had built was caving in, and there wasn't a damn thing Kurt could do about it.


	24. Chapter 24

Matt released a shaky breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding in as he turned down the familiar street towards home. He could do this. He was a horrible liar, but he'd be able to be cool, calm and collected in front of his family when Kurt was probably doing…what he was probably doing.

Before Kurt Hummel, Matt's life had been pretty simple, and he liked it that way. He kept to a routine. Everything in his life happened in a planned, precise, organized manner. He made lists and crossed the items off as they were accomplished. He followed the rules, he fell in line and he _thought_ that was the way life was supposed to be. Now, though, it was painfully clear that he had just been living in black-and-white. He was only half a person. With Kurt, he could go off the lists, he could break the rules, he could step out of line and it was okay. Better than okay. It was amazing.

Yet, the very person that had painted the world in saturated, vivid colors for him was doing something probably at this very moment in an effort to be noble. He tried to convince himself that Kurt wasn't doing those things with Sam, because the more he thought about it, the angrier he got, but he couldn't. He was angry about the situation he found himself in because he didn't have courage like Kurt had. He was angry about the situation he'd forced Kurt into. Angry that Sam thought he could even ASK Kurt to do such a thing. Angry at the way his parents had reacted when he told them, like they didn't really want to know to begin with.

His mother was distracted on the phone when he got home, so he took the opportunity to sneak off to his room and got online. He hoped Kurt was online, or at the very least Mike. He logged on to facebook and immediately skimmed his friend's list to Kurt's page, seeing if there was a status update…anything. There wasn't.

He went through Kurt's friend-list and found Sam's profile. His freakishly-big lips pouting at him with that ridiculous Beiber hair doing a very good impression of a Ken doll. All he needed was the neckerchief and the look would be complete. What Kurt ever saw in the boy, Matt didn't know. His last status update was something in a language he didn't know. Artie's reply to the status telling him to stop updating in languages that only exist in movies told Matt it was probably something in Nav'i.

Then Sam updated his status. He should have been terrified, but he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Sam apparently had a secret. If Sam was posting that, then that had to mean that Kurt hadn't gone through with it after all! He needed to talk to Kurt, tell him how glad he was that Kurt hadn't gone through with it. A tiny voice in the back of his brain was silently freaking out, but that was overridden by the overwhelming relief he felt.

He HAD to talk to Kurt.

"**Where are you?" **he texted Kurt for the second time, but there was no answer.

He stared at the phone, as if he could will Kurt's number to pop up on the screen. It wasn't Kurt's number who popped up on the screen though, but Mike's.

"I'm coming over," Matt said, logging off his computer and grabbing his keys.

"No," Mike protested. "Any other time, and I would've said sure. But Mercedes is on her way over. Apparently she wants to _talk_," Mike said. Matt could practically see his best friend rubbing the bridge of his nose and hear the wheels turning as he was no doubt going through every possible scenario in his mind.

But Matt didn't pay attention. He went out the backdoor and made his way across the three yards to Mike's back door and was in the Chang's living room in a flash.

"Did you see Sam's latest update?" Matt said in a panicked voice as soon as Mike appeared at the door, not even waiting for a hello.

"Mercedes is on her way over. She wants to _talk_," Mike said in lieu of a reply. "And no…and…why is Sam a Facebook friend?"

"I may or may not have been obsessively stalking his and Kurt's page ever since I got home for status updates."

"Matt…" Mike began, but his best friend wasn't hearing it.

"What else was I going to do!" Matt fired back. "I tried texting Kurt twice and he's not replying. What the hell was I thinking letting him believe that was even sort of okay?"

"Matt, listen. Whatever happens, it's NOT your fault. You know that, right?"

"It's SO unbelievably fucked up, Mike," Matt said in a voice so quiet his best friend had a hard time understanding it over the phone. "**I **fucked up. The worst part is the not knowing. My imagination is filling in all these blanks and I can't even…."

Mike just pulled him into a tight hug. "It'll be okay, Bro. It'll be okay…"

* * *

"Finn Hudson," Mercedes barked at him through the cell phone as he made his way home. "I just finished a VERY interesting conversation with your brother."

"Well, you guys talk a lot, so I wouldn't doubt it…but…what's this about, Mercedes?"

"WHAT. THE. HELL?"

"Excuse me?" Finn sputtered, completely confused.

"Oh my GOD. Finn, look, I know you've named the little guy in the refrigerator that you're convinced turns the light on when you open the door, but DON'T. EVEN. PLAY."

He and Mercedes didn't have many occasions to talk, but he knew her well enough to know that the girl had a temper that would've made Sam Kenison seem like Mr. Rogers when the situation warranted it, but he'd never been on the receiving end of it and made a mental note to never do whatever it was she was mad at him for ever EVER again.

"Mercedes, just…just calm down. What the hell did I DO?"

"Don't you play dumb with me, Finn Hudson. I KNOW."

"Know what?"

"Kurt's secret. I just had to find out. Apparently the best friend's the last to know."

"Mercedes, WHAT are you talking about? Seriously…I'm just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Once I do that, maybe then…"

"Oh, come ON! You LIVE with Kurt. You KNEW Kurt and Matt were sneaking around and you couldn't keep me appraised of that?"

Finn almost dropped his phone. "Wait…WHAT did you just say?"


	25. Chapter 25

"What the HELL were you thinkin'?" Mercedes Jones' voice bellowed from the other side of the screen door.

"Baby, can you keep your voice down? Matt's…"

"Oh, Matt's here is he? Well that's good, because I want to talk to HIS sorry ass, too. Actually, I'd prefer to BEAT it…but that's neither here nor there."

"Mercedes will you PLEASE calm down?" Mike asked, finally realizing it was best just to let her end.

"Calm DOWN? You want ME to CALM DOWN! Do you have ANY idea what you've done? Of course not. If you did, you wouldn't have that stupid-ass expression all over your face."

"I love you?" Mike tried, but Mercedes wasn't hearing it.

"You love me? You LOVE ME? Well, tell me THIS, lover of mine. If you love me so much, why in the HELL did you think it'd be okay to keep a secret from me?"

"Secret?"

"How about you tell me why you thought MY best friend foolin' around with YOUR best friend was somethin' I didn't need to know?"

"So THAT'S what this is about?" Mike said, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"You're damn straight that's what it's about."

"Baby, I didn't want to keep that from you, I just…Matt's my boy. There are certain things he doesn't want to let the whole world know about."

"Don't you BABY me! And I frankly don't care about the whole world. But Kurt? That's another story."

"Mercedes, don't be mad at him," Matt said as he came from the bathroom. "It's my fault."

"You're damn RIGHT it's your fault. You didn't have the balls to be honest with everyone, and now…"

"I'm the Worst Person Ever. Got it."

"You know what Kurt's doing right at this minute?" Mercedes said, moving towards the door. "He was trying to protect your sorry ass. How come everyone else in the world wants to protect your sorry ass when all I want to do is kick the hell out of it?"

"I didn't mean for it to be so…" Matt began, but Mercedes was interrupted by the chorus of _If I Only Had a Brain_ from the _The Wizard of Oz_. "I just got off the phone with that boy why is he..." she tapped the earpiece. "This had better be damn good, Finn," she barked.

* * *

_A half an hour earlier…_

There were certain things Finn found very handy when it came to living in the same house with Kurt.

His grades had improved since living with Kurt, who, as it turned out, was worse than his mom when it came to nagging about homework. When he started actually getting grades better than C's in most subjects because Kurt would quiz him and check his homework, though, he didn't mind so much. Big words with more than two syllables were finding their way into daily conversation and even in papers and it made him sound smart. And girls liked smart dudes. His clothes were softer and smelled nice, and mostly, when he needed a cover for Rachel, Kurt was there to do the brotherly thing and supply a plausible lie.

He did the same thing for Kurt, because Kurt had needed it a lot lately, and now Finn new why. He was now almost wishing he hadn't.

As awesome as Kurt was though, Finn new the guy had some major issues. He had this habit of keeping important stuff from people. Stuff like sneaking around with one of his friends. He thought he and Kurt were kind of getting close, and why couldn't he say something during those chats? Hadn't that been why Kurt brought him the warm milk? So they could talk and stuff? He knew that his step-brother was a lot of things, but dishonest was never one of them.

Until now. Kurt had been lying to him by keeping this secret. It wasn't like the lie he told Rachel earlier when he said he liked _Fiddler on the Roof_. This was a big lie. A big lie that he'd been keeping for a WHILE.

Finn decided he'd get the truth out of him. And if he could get his English essay due on _The Grapes of Wrath_ (he really didn't get that book. It wasn't even about grapes), well, he wouldn't complain.

The bibliography part confused the hell out of him. Kurt had agreed to help, so he was glad when he saw Kurt's Navigator in the driveway.

"Kurt!" he called out from the bottom of the stairs.

There was no answer, which didn't exactly surprise him. Kurt had been looking pretty tired lately. He could call Rachel for help, but he had a feeling they wouldn't get much done, so he figured he'd get the bibliography format online somewhere. He decided he had to ask Puck where to get an online cheat-sheet for bibliography things, which was pretty much pointless because his phone needed to be charged. The charger, of course, was upstairs in his room.

He saw a sliver of light through the crack in the bottom of the door, and figured Kurt was home. Kurt always closed his door when he was in his room. He heard the opening strains of that song Mercedes sang that one time in rehearsal last year; the one from that movie where Beyoncé slept with Jamie Foxx and costarred with the girl in the Weight Watchers commercials. He'd been living with Kurt long enough to know by now that it was his ring tone for her.

"Hey Kurt?" he called out again, figuring he didn't want to intrude. He entered his room unannounced once and Kurt replaced his play-list with show-tunes. Of course, it earned him bonus points with Rachel, and he got to touch her boobs again, so really, who lost there? But still…he knew a dude like Kurt needed his privacy.

That Mercedes song played again.

"Kurt?" Finn called again, rapping on the door. No answer. "Well, I guess you're really busy with somethin'. I'll just…"

And then he heard the opening strains of John Mellencamp's _Pink Houses_, Kurt's ring tone for Burt. It played through and started again.

_'Something's wrong_,' Finn realized when he heard it a third time. He blew off people sometimes, and Finn had gotten used to it, having gotten Kurt's voicemail a few times himself, especially when he was working on something, but there was no way Kurt would ignore his dad. Burt never called for no reason.

He decided to risk his play-list. "Hey, Kurt? I'm coming in, okay? If you're looking at..you know…gay porn or something, now would be a good time to...uh...close your window," he said, cautiously opening the door.

The sight that greeted him was SO MUCH worse than gay porn.

An empty bottle of pills sat on his desk, next to an almost-empty glass of water, the ice cubes almost melted away completely and condensation had begun to bleed onto the desk.

And his brother was lying face down on the floor.


	26. Chapter 26

"Oh my God…please…don't be dead…Kurt don't…" Finn murmured, and then sucked in a deep breath as he crouched down on his knees next to Kurt's still, unresponsive form. This proved to be a bit more of a challenge than Finn realized, because there wasn't much room between the bed and the vanity, but he somehow managed, and turned Kurt over.

He lightly slapped Kurt's frighteningl- pale face. His eyelids moved briefly, but shut again.

"Kurt, man…come on…" Finn said. "Wake up, bro…come on…you've gotta open your eyes."

" 'Mmmm really sleepy…" Kurt mumbled.

"I know. Try to stay awake. What happened?"

"Wath 'aving a nith dreeeam," Kurt mumbled. "Matt…"

His eyes popped open. "Oh, that wath…a seeeecret…"

If he could keep Kurt talking…maybe Kurt could stay awake.

"I found that out already. Is…is THAT why you did this?"

Kurt nodded his head slowly. "No. Not him…maybe."

"Is this about Matt?" Finn asked again.

"Juth couldn't come down…Sam wath gonna tell…coul'n't let'em…"

"That son of a bitch…Finn murmured.

Kurt closed his eyes again.

"Kurt! No…come on! Don't do that! Wake up, bro. Come on…open your eyes, dammit! Open your eyes!"

He wasn't used to the whole brother-thing quite yet, but he meant what he said at their parents' wedding. Kurt couldn't die. It just wasn't fair. They were finally kind of a family, and then Kurt had to go and do this. If Kurt didn't make it, they'd never be the same again. Finn felt Kurt's wrist, but he really didn't know what that was supposed to do, he just knew they did it a lot on TV. He thought he could feel something under his fingertips, but he wasn't sure if it was his own pulse ringing in his ears or Kurt's.

"_Oh, but ain't that America," _John Mellencamp's voice rasped out through Kurt's cell phone again. Finn jumped.

"What's up, Burt?"

"Finn? Why are you answering Kurt's phone?"

"He's kind of…unavailable right now. Um, Burt…I've gotta hang up."

"What the hell's going on, Finn?"

"I um…he's not….I'd keep you on the line, but I don't think you can text 9-1-1." There was a pause. "Wait. Can you?"

"What?" Burt barked.

Finn shook his head, forgetting Burt couldn't see that. No, everything was not okay. It was _so beyond _not okay, that he didn't' know if any of them would be okay again if Kurt…he shook his head, as if to shake the thought out of his head. "I saw an empty pill bottle on his desk," Finn began with a shaky breath. "He's on the floor…and…"

Finn thought they'd lost connection for a second. "Hey, Burt you still…?"

"Oh shit….shit shit shit shit shit…that was a brand new bottle…is Kurt okay!"

No, Kurt was definitely not okay. He was _breathing_, but beyond that, he didn't know how long Kurt would keep _that _up. Finn didn't know if any of them would be okay again if Kurt…he shook his head, as if to shake the thought out of his head.

"Burt, honey, what's wrong?" He heard his mother ask in the background, sooo wishing she were here. He needed someone to tell him what to do, to tell him everything was going to be okay.

"Yeah…" Finn said, "I mean, he's still breathing. That's good, right?"

He could hear Burt heaving a sigh of relief on the other line. "Oh thank God. Listen to me, Finn," Burt instructed in a low, even tone. "Hang up and dial 9-1-1. Stay with him until they get there. We'll meet you at the hospital, okay?"

Finn nodded as if Burt could hear him.

He called 9-1-1, and told them everything he could.

The dispatch told him they'd be there in about five minutes.

He didn't know what to do, so he sat down on the floor next to Kurt's still form, tucked his legs underneath himself. He called Burt and told him that the ambulance was on his way. He called Rachel. She didn't answer, so he decided to send her a text telling her to come to the hospital as soon as he could.

The opening chorus of _Bust a Move _came from Kurt's phone andMike's name popped up on the screen, and he picked it up, a little puzzled as to why Kurt had Mike Chang's phone number. Then he realized he probably had Matt's…and…yeah…that explained it.

"Kurt, oh thank GOD. Listen, you've gotta help me out man. Mercedes is on the war-path, and I need some back-up."

"Um, Mike?" Finn said. "Yeah, I know Mercedes is on the warpath. I got a mouthful from her a second ago, but…I've gotta go. I need to keep an eye on him until the ambulance gets here."

"Woah, back up a minute. Finn? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. Listen," Finn had never been so glad to see red lights flashing outside. "I think the ambulance is here…I'll have to call you back."

"WHAT?"

"That's…" Finn faltered. "Look, I had to tell Burt and the 9-1-1 people what happened, and I really don't want to say it again. Just meet me at the hospital."

"What happened?"

"I have no CLUE, dude…but I've really got to go. The ambulance is here and I'll fill you in at the hospital. Tell Matt…" he began, and then thought better of it. "never-mind. I'm kinda looking forward to telling him a few things myself. See you in a few."

He hung up.

He opened the door for the EMT's.

"Kurt's upstairs. He's my brother…I mean, not really. Our parents got married a few months ago…but…he woke up for a little while, but then…" He sucked in a breath to steady his nerves.

"Any idea why he be unconscious?" The EMT asked.

"I don't know how many he took, but there was an empty bottle of Xanax on his desk. His dad said it was a new bottle.

The EMT put a reassuring hand on Finn's shoulder. "We're about ready to get him into the ambulance," the EMT said, eyes flickering to two EMTs taking Kurt's still form out the door on a stretcher. "You can ride with us if you want. Has he done this kind of thing before?"

Finn could only nod.

"He knows his dad loves him a lot. A lot of people love him a lot." Finn said, voice cracking with emotion. Hot tears sprang to the corner of his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath, but the sobs came anyway. " He paused as a couple of EMT's walked past with Kurt on a stretcher.

"We'll do what we can to make sure you get to tell him that yourself."

Finn knew praying was stupid, but just this one time, he hoped maybe somebody heard.


	27. Chapter 27

**AN: So sorry it's been so long since my last update! Raul the Muse just wasn't being cooperative on this story, but for some reason, he got woken up like WOAH on this story. Thank you for your patience! We're almost at the end!**

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Mercedes' voice boomed as the double doors slid open.

"Baby, just calm down, okay?" Mike said, trying to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. She was shorter than Finn by several inches, but the glare she was giving him had the taller teen absolutely terrified for his personal being.

"I WILL CALM DOWN WHEN I GET SOME DAMN ANSWERS!"

"Miss," a nurse said, scurrying over to the admission desk, "if you don't keep it down, I'll have to ask you to leave."

"I don't know what happened, Mercedes…I don't…" the doors slid open again as Matt stepped through and Finn's mouth pinched into a thin, angry line.

"This is all your fault," he said in a soft, dangerous tone.

"No argument here," Matt said, throwing his hands up in surrender.

"Look, he tried to fix it at rehearsal today, but…" Mike began, but was interrupted by the door opening again and Rachel, Puck and Tina, and Quinn. A few seconds later, Artie was being wheeled in by Brittany with Santana close behind.

"I swear to GOD if that idiot valet ruins my Mustang, he will not be having any children in his future," Santana huffed. Her eyes searched the room for Finn. "What's going on with Hummel?"

"I would've gotten here sooner," Rachel explained, "but I had to pick up a few people. Noah's residence isn't exactly in the neighborhood."

"Wait…how did you…?" Finn stammered.

"I called Quinn and Tina, who called everyone else," Mercedes explained like it was supposed to make perfect sense. "But that's not important. You still haven't told me squat."

"That's because I don't know anything, either," Finn answered, running his fingers through his hair. "All I know is I found Kurt by an empty bottle of Zerox…"

"That's Xanax, Finn," Rachel corrected.

"Right, that's what I said. He woke up for a couple of minutes, but he was out cold by the time the paramedics got there." Finn was sniffling now. "They'll only let my mom and Burt back there, and aside from that, I know about as much as you guys."

"Why would he DO that?" Tina asked, sniffling. "I mean, I know Karofsky gives him a hard time but to do THAT? I thought he was stronger than this."

"I think it has something to do with what's been going on with Kurt and me," Matt spoke up for the first time. Eleven pairs of eyes were suddenly on him, but he didn't care. They were all going to find out anyway, and he wanted a chance to tell them on his own terms. Coming out in the waiting room of a hospital was not how he pictured coming out to his best friends, but then again, he didn't actually have it all planned out to begin with, so this was probably a good time as any.

"Matt…now's not…" Mike began, but Matt put a hand on his shoulder in protest.

"No, man, it's okay. They should know." Matt sucked in a deep breath.

"Kurt and I…we….sort of started a thing." Matt began. "And Sam caught us and he was going to put it on his blog. Sam and Kurt made a deal. So that's all I know, but I…I'm guessing that's why we're here. It had something to do wi-… with that…" Matt let out a shaky breath, and his eyes stung with tears.

There was a long silence.

"You're all looking at me like I've grown an extra head," Matt said with half-hearted, awkward laughter. "Somebody please say something."

"Well, bravo, Matt," Rachel finally said. "I applaud your courage to come out this way. I have a black gay dad, you know. Ooooh! I should have you over for dinner one night! Once Kurt recovers of course…I'm sure his wealth of experiences will be a big help."

"Thanks Rachel, that's not really…"

"Well, forgive me for not congratulating you, Matt," Mercedes spat. "The only reason you're telling us now is because you were about to get caught! Because you couldn't tell the truth in the first place, Kurt could…" a sob escaped her lips then. "I'm sorry…I'm just really scared and…"

Mike put his arm around her and placed a reassuring kiss on her temple.

"So, could someone please explain everything to me again," Brittany said, "because I'm still having trouble getting past the whole Matt can talk part."

* * *

Two hours had past, and Rachel was dozing on Finn's shoulder, Artie and Tina were having Angry Birds tournaments on their cell phones, and Santana refreshed her Facebook newsfeed for the millionth time while Quinn was thumbing through one of the wrinkled old magazines.

"It'll be time for my curfew soon," Quinn said, "but I told my mom where I was going and I don't care if I get grounded. I'm not going anywhere."

"Hospitals always take forever," Artie said. "We could be awhile."

"I've never had to go to the hospital," Tina said. "Except for when Quinn had her baby and I visited my grandma once, but I guess you would have a lot of experience with them."

"I hate hospitals," Puck grumbled. "They smell funny. And I really wanna kick Evans' ass right now. Anyone with me?"

Matt stood up. "Come on, I'll drive."

"Don't you dare do anything stupid, Puckerman," Santana said. "You either, Rutherford. I know you. You're not going to be happy until Beiber Boy is beaten to a bloody pulp. But whatever you're thinking of doing…don't. He's not worth it."

"I just wish we knew something," Rachel said. "This waiting is awful."

"Why won't they tell us anything?" Finn asked nobody in particular as he paced back and forth in the waiting room. He'd been sitting in those uncomfortable chairs for two hours, and his butt was asleep, so he'd taken to pacing half an hour ago.

Brittany was curled up in what had to be an uncomfortable position. The chairs were all connected and her head was in Santana's lap. Santana idly stroked her hair as the blonde dosed.

"How can she sleep in here?" Quinn asked. "It's so noisy and bright."

"Britt can sleep anywhere through ANYTHING," Santana replied. "She'll start snoring in a minute."

"Kurt snores like a freight train," Matt said. "Don't tell _him_ I said that, though, or he'll skin me alive."

"Take the T to the M to the I, Matt," Artie said.

"Yeah, I know," Finn said, a rueful smile creeping across his face. "I can hear him in my room sometimes. It's so loud between him and his dad I have to sleep with my i-pod, or it keeps me awake. Everyone thinks I'm the snorer in the family…but no…it's him. And…I'm going to pretend I don't know how you know that."

"Look, Finn, Mercedes, everyone, I'm so sorry I wasn't honest with everyone before. If I'd been honest in the beginning, maybe…"

But Matt's apology died in his throat, because Finn was rushing towards his mom.

Finn bent down as she pulled him into a hug. "He is SO LUCKY you got home when you did. We all are."

"So he's okay?" Finn sniffled.

"They're keeping him overnight, we're waiting on a room now. They're pumping his stomach and then they're giving him an IV for the night," Carole said, tears in her own eyes. "But yeah, honey," she told him, standing on her tip-toes to tousle his hair. "It looks like he's going to be okay."

He stooped down to hug her tightly. "I was so scared mom…we all were…"

Her gaze floated to the corner of the waiting room where the ten of them were watching intently. Finn turned to them and his face broke into a wide grin. The girls were sobbing openly, and hugging each other, and even the guys were sniffling and rubbing their eyes.

"Must be allergic to hospitals," Mike said.

"You poor things, you all look exhausted," Carole said. "You should go home. Come back in the morning after you've had a chance to get a rest."

"Actually Mom," Finn said. "The boys and I have a stop to make first," he said, exchanging a glance with Puck.

"Oh no you don't! Finn, it's past your curfew, you are going to take your friends home and you are going straight to bed. You know how you get when you don't get enough sleep!"

"Don't worry, Mrs. H," Puck said. "I just have to deliver Meals on Wheels."

At this hour?" Carole asked, but Finn shot her a sheepish grin and Puck wheeled Artie out as Mike and Matt followed.

"Dude, Artie's not exactly going to be able to do much damage," Finn mumbled through closed lips."

"Have you ever had your toes crushed by a wheel chair?" Puck asked. "I have. NEVER piss Artie off, man. Broken feet hurt like a bitch."

"Truth!" Artie said as Finn and Puck helped Artie into Mike's parents' ancient blue minivan.


	28. Chapter 28

**AN: For some reason, Raul has NO PROBLEM making Kurt's life miserable, even killing him off. But this conversation? He was having issues with...lots and lots of issues. So, sorry for the delay. Thank you for sticking around, we're almost done!**

* * *

"Hey Kid," Burt said when Kurt finally began to stir. "How ya feelin'?"

"Everything feels heavy," Kurt slurred.

"The docs said that'll go away by tomorrow," he said.

"I've still got that charcoal drink taste in my mouth," he said. They'd stuck a tube down his throat and forced a charcoal cocktail, and that was when he'd first regained consciousness. It had been a rude awakening, but "Why can't we go home?"

"The doctors want to keep you overnight for observation," Burt said. "They wanted to keep you a few days, but I told'em we'd keep an eye on you."

"What for?"

Burt sighed. "Kurt, you took…"

Whatever Burt was about to say was interrupted by the door opening. Carole came in carrying a pack of peanut butter crackers and a couple of cups of coffee. "Nothing was open, so I just got a couple of cups of coffee and a pack of crackers from the vending ma…" her gaze flickered from Burt to Kurt, who offered her a weak smile.

She set the coffee and crackers on the tray and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, careful not to tug at the IV line that was attached to his arm. "We were all so worried," she said, hugging him as tightly as she could manage.

"Sorry, Carole," he said into her shoulder. "It must be…you must be really tired."

"What for, sweetie?" Carole said, smoothing his hair. "You're okay. That's all that matters."

"Kurt," his father said, holding his hand but unable to look his son in his eyes. He took a deep breath, and exchanged a look with Carole, who seemed to take it as a cue to back away and sit down. Kurt hated it. He hated that he was doing this to his father, that he was the reason for the pain etched in his face. "Finn found your bottle of Xanax next to you in your room. I just got that prescription refilled for you a few days ago. The bottle was empty."

It wasn't an accusation or even a question, but still the implication hung heavy in the air like a thick fog. He knew his dad needed to know what happened—deserved to know what happened, and Kurt couldn't really blame him, but it didn't keep him from wanting to disappear.

He knew the next thing that was going to come out of his father's mouth, and he braced himself for the inevitable fight that was on the horizon. His dad would want to know why; what made him do what he did. Kurt, though, knew that most of the story wasn't his to tell. That the WHOLE story—Matt, Sam, all of it, was still a secret he had to keep.

"It wasn't on purpose," he said. And that was the truth.

"That's not the point," Burt said, voice rough and tired. "Kurt, if Finn hadn't been there…I don't know if I could've…do you know what that would've done to me? Do you have _any_ clue?"

Kurt closed his eyes and let a few tears escape down his cheeks. "I didn't mean…"

"Good, because I'd hate to think you'd throw your life away because you had a bad day or two."

"A bad day? Dad…you have NO IDEA! It's _sometimes_ better now since New Directions. Finn tries…so do Puck and Mike, but they can't really do anything, not when the whole school…" he dissolved into sobs then.

"I know things are rough," Burt said after a long while. "I know you don't have it easy…but Kid…you could try _telling _me what's going on. If something happened at school, we need to talk to the principal. Somebody who can actually do something needs to be made aware of what's going on. You shouldn't have to put up with that. Nobody should."

"That's not what happened."

"Then tell me."

Kurt let out a shaky breath. "I had a panic attack. I took a Xanax, but it didn't really help, so I took another. And then another."

"What set off the panic attack?" Burt asked after a long while.

"I don't know," Kurt lied. "I've had panic attacks just sitting in my room before or watching TV."

The way his father was looking at him just now, Kurt was sure he'd been caught in the lie, but for whatever reason, Burt had let it go.

"You could've called me," he said. "You could've called _somebody_."

"Dad…" Kurt began. "What am I supposed to say? I really don't want to talk about this right now."

"Well, that's just too damn bad," Burt said. He was shouting now, and Kurt wanted to cover his ears, but he knew it would only make things worse. "I didn't want to get a call from Finn tonight saying that you'd overdosed. I didn't want to have to sit here, worrying if I'd have to bury my son, but sometimes, you don't get a choice."

"Burt…" Carole began, but Burt shushed her.

"I love you Kurt," he said thickly. "More than anything in the world, but I can_not_ go through that again. I just can't. I will Understood?"

Kurt nodded, tears flowing freely now. "I'm sorry," he finally mumbled.

"Just promise me something, Kurt," Burt whispered.

Kurt nodded, wiping tears from his face.

"Promise me that you will _never_ do anything like this again. Promise me that you will go to the therapy appointment I'm setting up for you in the morning."

"Therapy?" Kurt balked "No. Dad, I am NOT going to spill my guts out only to be told that it's all because I hate my mother. And besides, I'm not even depressed. For the first time in my _life_ I've got friends. Real friends who will stick up for me," he glanced over at Carole, who, until that point, wasn't even sure if the two men knew she was still in the room. "We have family. I have Ma—" he stopped himself short. Did he? Have Matt? He knew without a doubt there was _something_ there and he knew that those feelings were returned, as sure as he knew that oceans were deep, but if Matt had to live a lie, it just wouldn't be possible to be in a relationship with him.

"You have a what, sweetie?" Carole asked.

"I have a lot of reasons to be happy," he said. It _was_ true. He did. And when he said something that wasn't even a lie, it was easy to be convincing, but the look his father was giving him at the moment made him more certain than ever that he knew he wasn't being completely honest.

Burt sighed. "Your mom got these panic attacks, and her doctor told her it was genetic. She had you and me and her teaching career. That was a lot to be happy about, too. But she still fought depression and anxiety attacks. I know you have a hard time with school. I know you took your break-up with Sam pretty hard. Therapy helped her sort some things out, and that's all I'm asking you to do."

"Kurt," Carole hedged, chancing a glance up at Burt on the other side of the bed. "When your father was sick, we all felt so helpless. We—Finn and I and the rest of your friends- felt helpless because there was nothing we could do for you. We ALL wanted to help you, to do something for you because you just seemed so…lost and sad and alone…but you wouldn't let us in. You _have_ to learn to let the people who love you people help you, Kurt."

"Well, I'm sorry if I didn't make things easier for _you_ while my dad was sick!" Kurt snapped. He regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but at that moment he didn't really care. Carole looked down at her lap.

"Kurt…" his father said in a warning tone, but Carole shushed him.

"It's okay, Burt," Carole said.

"I'm NOT going to therapy," Kurt said.

"Therapy is not negotiable. You can either promise me you'll go, or I'll drag you there myself, but you ARE going to sort your issues out. You need help to deal with whatever it is you've got going on."

"I told you it was an accident! I don't have..." Kurt protested again, but his dad wasn't having any of it.

"Kurt a whole bottle? One or two extra, that might actually be possible, but a whole damn bottle? That's not an accident. Come on, Kid. Do you think I'm stupid or something? I thought we could be honest with each other. I thought that was the kind of relationship we had. Now…I'm going to ask you one more time. What the hell is going on?"

Kurt sighed. "I can't tell you," he said simply.

"What the hell is so damn important that you can't tell me?"

"Dad, I…"

Whatever Kurt was going to say was interrupted by the nurse knocking on the door.

"Oh, wonderful!" a nurse Kurt intsantly hated for her too-cheerful tone-of-voice. "You're awake. I'm Maryanne. I'll be your nurse this evening. This is Dr. Warner," she said, pointing to a short woman with frizzy black hair. "She's a psychiatrist. She just wants to talk to you about…"

"Dad?" Kurt said, livid. "I told you I'm not…"

"I am reminding you once again that this is not an option. But for the record, I didn't call her."

"No, your dad didn't call me," Dr. Warner said. "I work for the hospital. I am here at the request of your doctor. It's procedure for…cases like yours."

"Look, I'm sorry that you came all the way down here," Kurt said, "but I am NOT talking to a stranger about my issues."

"Kid, I don't care what you want," she said, fixing an icy glare on him. Kurt wanted to laugh because he wasn't at all intimidated, but he bit his tongue to keep the sound from coming out. "I have a job to do. You're not going to keep me from doing it. Now, we can do this with or without your parents here, but I'm not leaving until you've answered some questions."

"I know you're bound by law to keep this confidential. I watched Law and Order enough times to know that."

"Who knew TV could be so educational?" she snipped.

"You won't tell anyone?"

"Not without your explicit written permission," she said.

Kurt nodded, and then looked at his father.

"Happy now?" he seethed.

Burt nodded. "If this is the way you wanna do it, sure. Come on, Hon," he said to Carole, taking her hand. "We'll wait outside."


	29. Chapter 29

Just a couple more chapters to go! Thanks for sticking around!

* * *

Matt had no trouble finding Sam's house. Back before everyone (well, at least everyone who counted, anyway) knew what kind of dick Sam was, he'd had the whole team over at the beginning of the year for a party.

Matt remembered staying long enough just to make an appearance and then spending most of the night on the back porch by himself, trying to avoid Santana, whom he was pretty sure wanted to make him her next threesome with Brittany, which just scared the shit out of him.

He'd known for a while what he was, even then, but Matt was too scared to face it, too scared to tell the truth. Because if any of the other guys caught on, life as he knew it would be over. Kurt was barely on his radar back then, but still, he'd known what kind of hell they put him through. The truth was supposed to set you free, but in Matt's case, it held him prisoner. If anyone found out his secret, there was no going back. He knew how it worked. He'd be kicked off the team. He'd go from "Matt who?" to that gay guy who used to be on the football team in zero point two seconds. It didn't matter that Sam was gay. He was a douche, and people would automatically assume things because that's how people were.

But now, none of that mattered. Soon, one way or another, it was going to be impossible to hide who he was anymore. Kurt or no Kurt, there was no sense running from the truth any more.

How could he have been so _stupid_? This was…what decade, exactly? Granted, it was a conservative small town and he knew what everyone thought of people like Kurt. He also knew _exactly_ what his parent's opinion was on the subject matter. Mike, he knew, would stand by him no matter what. So would the other guys in Glee. They were kind of a family, and that's what you did for family.

But his _actual_ family? What were they going to think? What were they going to say when they found out?

Matt would have to worry about that bridge when he came to it.

"You think his parents are home?" Mike said. "I mean…it's not like we can exactly kick his ass with his family around. He's got a brother and sister."

"I don't care…we've gotta do something," Finn said. "He can't do what he did to Kurt and get away with it!"

"Oh, he's not," Artie said, digging his lap-top out of his backpack and turning it on. His face lit up under the blue light of the computer screen making him look, to Matt, absolutely demonic. "Just give me a minute."

"This is no time to update your Facebook status!" Matt said.

"Oh, I'm not updating my Facebook status," Artie said.

"So are you playing World of Warcraft?" Mike asked.

"E-Bay?" Finn wondered.

"Dude, can you unplug for two freaking seconds?" Puck said. "Save the porn for later!"

"Just one second," Artie mumbled, distracted as he typed furiously. "Almost…done. Ok. Now I'm done," he said, closing his laptop shut. "Would've gotten it sent faster, but I had to get a password for the use of the internet. You'd think with all the identity theft, people would be more imaginative with their passwords…but no…most people, including Sam's parents, are idiots and go with the old tried-and-true 12345."

"What did you do, man?" Finn said.

"All in good time, my pretties," Artie said an octave higher than he normally spoke. "Now. Shall we go kick some ass, gentlemen?" Mike and Matt got the wheelchair out of the back. Finn and Puck lifted Artie out of the Jeep, and Puck wheeled Artie up to the front door.

"Just weird how life works out, you know?" Puck said as they walked up the rather lengthy walkway to the front of the house. "I'm the first to admit I've tossed Kurt in more than a few dumpsters, and now, I'm leading the charge to defend Tinkerbelle's honor."

"You know what's weirder?" Finn said, out of breath and feeling suddenly exhausted as the rush of adrenaline dissipated. "That whole thing with Matt. I mean, it doesn't matter…but…still, didn't see THAT one coming. No offense, dude."

"None taken," Matt said. "For the record, Kurt was as surprised as you are."

"You know what's even weirder?" Puck asked as he started up the engine.

"What?" Finn asked.

"I'm kind of Kurt's Knight in Shining Armor now. How gay is THAT shit?"

"So, wanna go to the hospital after we're done here?" Finn asked

"Hey, maybe they've still got some trays they haven't taken away yet," Artie suggested.

"Dude, hospital food's gross," Finn said, making a face.

Puck shook his head. "The pudding's awesome. And the mashed potatoes. And anything with gravy all over it? Party in your mouth!"

"You like hospital food? Now THAT'S weird." Mike said.

"Actually, I just want to pick up a couple of hot nurses."

Finn swatted him. "Admit it…you're just as worried about him as I am."

Puck just nodded, looking at the ground. "Just because I don't want that Diva to bite it doesn't mean you have to go all Dr. Phil on me."

Now it was Matt's turn to swat Puck in the back of his head.

"You wouldn't have backed me up if you weren't worried."

"Oh come on, I'm a TOTAL bad-ass. I live for a good beat-down and you know it."

"Puck…it's okay, man," Mike said. "It doesn't mean you're gay if you're worried about one of our own."

"Good point. But repeat that to anyone and you die."

With that, Matt took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

It was now or never.

"Hi…uh…" a thin blonde woman with Sam's absurdly large lips greeted when she answered the door. "I'm Matt Rutherford," he said congenially.

"You must be on the team with Sam," she said, smiling brightly. "Ain't you a tall drink of water! Finn! Noah! I haven't seen you around here lately."

'_That's because your son blackmailed Finn and you raised a complete and total ass-hole, and nobody with half a conscience wants to hang around him voluntarily,"_ Matt wanted to reply, but instead, he just plastered on his fakest smile and said "Is Sam around? We'd like to speak to him."

They had a problem now, though. A big one. Matt came here with the full intention of beating Sam to a bloody pulp. He wanted to make him beg to stop until he agreed to back off, but now? With his family here? Matt wanted to do damage, and so did the rest of New Directions, and if it were on school grounds, that was one thing, but this was Sam's house. His family was there.

And they'd likely press charges.

If Sam was surprised by their presence, he didn't show it. "What's up, guys?" He greeted as he bound down the stairs.

"Sam," Finn said. "Is there someplace private we can talk? "

"Finn, man," Sam replied. "What could you POSSIBLY say that you can't say in front of my family?"

"Just trust us, Dude," Puck said. "You're not going to want them within earshot for what we've got to say."

"Look, if this is about Kurt," Sam said. "He made his decision."

"We know," Matt said. "Are you coming outside with us or are we going to have to do this the hard way?"

Sam nodded and gestured to the door.

"What the hell do you guys want?" Sam hissed as soon as they were outside.

"We want you to die a horrible painful death, but since that's clearly not an option seeing as how I really wouldn't do well in jail, we'll just settle for you leaving Kurt alone," Artie said.

"Oh, this is hilarious," Sam said dryly. "Wheelchair Kid? Threatening me? And you guys are all here as, what? Muscle? Is someone getting their cell phone out? 'Cause mah, that vid would be viral by tomorrow." He paused and Matt hated the way Sam was smirking at him just then. "Or you know what would be even better? A sex-tape. Well, not sex in the strictest definition of the term…but still…not gonna get technical here," he said, and dug his phone out of his pocket. Matt couldn't see anything from where he was, but he didn't have to.

"You're going to delete that video," Puck said in a low-threatening tone.

"Make me," Sam said.

"Fine," Artie said grinning evilly and rolling up so that he was toe-to-toe with Sam. "Have it your way."

"You're not going to roll over my toes, are you?" Sam scoffed. "Because that's seriously pathetic."

"Nah," Artie said, shaking his head. "I only do that when I want to inflict physical pain. Which, believe me, I do…but you're not worth it. You're REALLY not worth it. And I have a feeling when you see what we've got to show you, you'll pretty much be our bitch."

"Come again?" Sam said.

"You've got a nice house, Sam," Artie said, opening up his laptop. "A very nice house. You've got some sweet cars in the driveway. I'd really hate to see all that go away."

"Why would it…" Sam began.

"It's amazing, how fast life can change, isn't it?" Artie said. "I mean, my life changed forever because of one split-second decision. Somebody decided to drive drunk one day and take the intersection and I've been in this wheelchair ever since. And your life…" he said, finger poised over the 'enter' button of his laptop, "that can change with just the press of this button."

"Artie, what's going…" Finn asked.

"Look, I think you guys just need to leave," Sam said.

"Fine. Then I can just press send and we'll be on our way."

"Look, if it's stuff with me and Kurt, you know I can just call bullshit on any rumor you guys start spreading."

"Oh, no rumor. That's more Santana's thing. I mean, I'd REALLY rather press send, but I'm going to give you a choice. It's only fair."

"You're sending WHAT to whom?"

"Apparently, your dad's had a pretty good first season at VA."

"Yeah…so?"

"Who's his star Quarterback?"

"Charlie McCall. They all call him Cheer-Up Charlie because the football team started winning games for the first time in a decade with him as Star Quarterback."

Artie turned his laptop around. "Is that Charlie McCall?"

Sam nodded.

"I did some digging, and it would seem that Mr. McCall would be what my mom who teaches at the college calls a 'non-traditional' student."

"What?"

"Well, apparently, Cheer-up Charlie is...how do I put this? Old enough to remember when SNL was still half-way decent? I'll bet he's pretty popular. Seeing as he's the only one in high school with with an ID proves says he's Over 21, I'll bet he makes a killing scoring alcohol for high school kids."

"So, lots of people have fake IDs."

"It's not a fake ID. It's a real one. Cheer Up Charlie is 21 years old. His birthdate is October 14, 1990. You know what that means?"

"That he flunked a lot of classes and had to repeat a lot of grades?"

"Sam, Sam, Sam…" Artie chided, clicking his tongue. "Too bad that bleach you put in your hair has seeped into your brain cells. Apparently your dad has been less-than-kosher with his recruiting process. It would be such a shame if, say, someone were to inform the school board in the next county over. Your dad would lose his job…and in this economy, too…" Artie shook his head. "You'd have to sell all your nice cars, your awesome house. Probably even hock your guitar!"

"Okay, you caught me. Happy now?"

Finn rushed at Sam then, shoving his back against one of the columns of the porch. "My brother _almost died_ tonight because of you. The only reason we're not pounding your face in right now is because your family's inside."

"Hand me your cell phone," Matt said.

"WOAH!" Sam said, managing to push Finn off him. "Kurt made his choice. It's not my fault he couldn't handle it."

"Sam," Mike said. "We all know about Matt and Kurt. It's kind of…non-news at this point."

"Here's what's going to happen," Puck said. "You're going to give my boy your phone. You're going to back off of Kurt. You're going to step down as Quarterback, and maybe we'll let you live."

"Step down as Quarterback?"

"Tomorrow," Matt said, "you're telling the team the truth about what you did to Finn. THAT's going to be the real front-page item on Jacob's blog, and then you leave us alone. For good."

"Oh, look at that…" Artie said, finger poised over the enter-key. "Wonder what would happen if I were to accidentally slip…why, I'll bet you wouldn't even be able to afford hair-dye."

"Ok! Fine!" Sam said, handing his cell phone to Matt. You win. For now. But don't think I'll forget this."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you won't," Artie said, and with a wicked grin, he pressed the enter key.

"I thought….but you said…" Sam squeaked.

"My bad," Artie said with a shrug. "Come on, boys…let's roll."

Matt clapped Sam on the shoulder. "Rest up, man. Looks like tomorrow's going to be a looong day."


	30. Chapter 30

Matt had been in the hospital exactly twice as a patient. Once when he was eight to get his tonsils out and once last year for that stupid spider-bite. He'd visited his grandfather once in the hospital after her heart attack, but those had all been during regular visiting hours.

Logically, Matt was fairly certain that it would probably be easier to just come back tomorrow. Logically, he knew Kurt was going to be okay. In all probability, Kurt would probably be released by the time he had a chance to sneak away for a visit after practice.

But he also knew that some things just couldn't wait.

It was well after ten by the time they pulled away from the Evans house, and reruns of all those dramas and Very Special Episodes of old eighties sitcoms kept flashing through his mind. Every time a character visited the hospital after a certain hour, there was always a nurse to kick them out.

When they returned to the Emergency Room, apparently the girls had all decided to go home. Mercedes had texted Mike to let him know that Rachel and Santana had taken everyone home.

Finn texted his mother to find out where Kurt was, and nobody said a word as they all got on the elevator, but as they made it to the doorway, a janitor stopped them.

"Sorry, kid," the janitor said. "Visiting hours are over. And anyway, I don't think they'd let a group your size in the same room at once."

"BUGS!" Mike screamed. "BUGS! I'VE GOT ALL THESE BUGS EVERYWHERE!" he started shaking imaginary bugs off of him, and Matt just gave him this look. 'Go!' he mouthed when the janitor was looking around for someone to help. "REALLY BIG BUGS!"

"Are you okay, man?"

Then Mike cleared his throat.

"No more bugs," Mike said with a sheepish grin at the janitor's (And Puck's and Artie's) confused expressions.

"HEY!" the janitor called after them, but Matt and Finn were already half-way down the hall.

"Dude!" Puck exclaimed. "What the hell was that all about?"

"It worked on _Buffy_," Mike replied with a shrug. "Come on…let's go home. We can come by before school and visit tomorrow."

* * *

"Come on, Matt, he's just down the hall," Finn said, but stopped short as he saw what had to be Kurt and Finn's parents setting on a bench outside the room.

Matt had never met Burt Hummel before, not really. But from the way Finn and Kurt talked about him, Matt was sure the guy would give Chuck Norris a run for his money, but the tired, worn and…sad man he saw sitting on a bench quietly with his wife looked almost…broken.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do with him, Carole," Burt was saying. "I thought we didn't keep secrets. What could be so big that he couldn't tell me?"

"As much as that boy loves you, Burt," Carole said. "I know he wouldn't keep a secret from you if he didn't absolutely _have_ to. Just give it time. Eventually, it'll all come out in the open, because Kurt is good at a lot of things, but lying isn't one of them. And that's a good thing, honey."

Matt felt absolutely awful. He'd turned Kurt into someone his father didn't know anymore.

"Mom," Finn said. "How's he doing?"

"He's talking with a psychiatrist now, they're…" she stole a questioning glance up at Matt. "They're making an assessment, I think. Who's your friend?"

'_I'm one sorry son of a bitch,'_ he wanted to say, but couldn't even manage to tell them his name. Instead, he just looked down and awkwardly shifting his feet. If there were worse circumstances to meet the parents of the one you loved, Matt, at the moment, couldn't think of any.

"This is Matt. He's in glee with us, Mom," Finn supplied.

"I'm just really…sorry for what happened to Kurt."

"Thanks," Burt said with an expression on his face that was half annoyance and half confusion.

"It's just…this is my fault," Matt said in a voice so quiet Burt had to strain to hear him.

"Listen, kid," Burt said, clapping him on the shoulder. "_Kurt_ is the reason Kurt is in there right now. I don't know you from Adam, but I'm pretty damn sure you're not even a _little_ responsible."

"No…I mean…we were going to…we had plans. And then I broke them, and…if I hadn't…then maybe…"

"Wait, you and Kurt were going to meet up for…_that_?" Finn blurted out.

"What the hell does that mean?" Burt exploded.

"Look, I'm sorry…so unbelievably sorry," Matt said, still unable to look Kurt and Finn's parents in the eye. "I wasn't ready…but Sam kind of forced our hand, and…" he wiped the tears that started falling freely now. "I'll just…I'll just go."

"Wait," Burt called after him. "So…he was trying to protect you?"

Matt nodded miserably

"Oh, honey…" Carole said. "It's not your fault. Not even a little bit," she said, pulling Matt into an awkward hug.

Whatever Matt was going to say was forgotten when the door opened again. "Mr. Hummel," the psychiatrist said. "I've talked to your son," she announced as though it was some sort of major accomplishment. "Based on our conversation, it is my professional opinion that he poses no immediate threat to himself or others, so once the physician clears him for the injuries he sustained due to the overdose itself, then I see no reason why he won't be discharged tomorrow. However, I do think he would benefit from out-patient therapy to learn better coping techniques, especially if he plans on continuing with the Xanax. I will recommend a faster-acting anti-anxiety medication, and that should go a long way towards preventing this from happening again."

Burt breathed a sigh of a relief. "So is it okay if we go back in there right now."

"Be my guest, but he'd just gave himself a dose of the pain-killers, so I'm fairly certain he'll be pretty out of it soon."

"Matt, you should probably go home, man," Finn said. "I can tell everyone to wait until he gets out tomorrow to see him at home."

"Actually," he asked Burt. "Mind if I…?"

"No problem. It's gettin' pretty late. Come on, Finn, let's go home. I think your mom's about to turn into a pumpkin."

With a shaky breath, Matt opened the door and stepped inside.

Kurt was asleep, and Matt was glad of that. He really wasn't sure if Kurt wanted to be in the same room as him right now, and he couldn't blame him if he didn't after what happened. The chair next to the bed was too short for someone as tall as him, but at that moment, there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

He took Kurt's hand in his, taking care not to jostle the IV needle.

So many emotions were swirling around in the pit of his stomach that he almost wanted to throw up. There was guilt, first and foremost. Yes, Kurt might have taken those pills, and yes, Sam might've forced their hand, but fact of the matter was, if it hadn't been for him, Kurt wouldn't be lying there _at all_. There was anger. Anger that Kurt would even think this was a good solution; that it was okay. There was relief' relief that he was okay, relief that they got more time together. There was fear. Matt was so afraid of how things would change; of what life would be like at school for him now that the truth had come out and how life would be like at home. But overriding all of that, more than he felt guilty, more than he felt frightened, more than he felt relief or anything else, he knew that the thing that trumped them all was _love_, and if Kurt had actually _died_ tonight? And Matt hadn't had a chance to tell him?

Matt didn't know if he could've stood it.

So now was his chance.

"Hey…" Matt began, not really expecting Kurt to respond, but really hoping he'd get at least a squeeze of his hand, but Kurt remained still. Which was probably a good thing, because Matt probably would've chickened out.

"I told you this once, but you were asleep," he began. "I told you then because I was afraid…so afraid that you wouldn't say it back, afraid that you'd say it only out of some kind of…obligation. But here's the thing, after tonight, it's complete and total honesty from here on out. I know when this started, it was just one of those things neither of us saw coming. It was just sex at first, but somehow, it's turned into something real. It'd be so much easier if I could just walk away, but you're not someone I think I can let go of." He was crying freely now, and didn't even notice until the tears started falling down in big droplets on his shirt. "So I'm saying this again, and when I see you tomorrow, I'm saying it again and again for as long as you'll let me." He took in a deep breath and let out a shaky breath. "I love you, Kurt Hummel."

"Matt…" Kurt mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm here," he said, running a hand through Kurt's hair.

"Good drugs," Kurt mumbled. "What is IN the happy-button, 'cause it's great stuff."

"Feeling better?"

"Oh, I feel fine," Kurt said sleepily. "But I just thought I heard you say you. Love. Kurt. Hummel."

Matt nodded.

"Not the drugs?" Kurt asked, a goofy grin spreading across his face.

Matt shook his head. "Not the drugs."

"Wha'd'you go'n'say _that_ for?"

"Because I do," Matt said, laughing. "I'm so completely head-over-heels in love with you and there's only one thing to do for it."

"Whassat?"

"Make sure you never forget it."

"Mmmm," Kurt said, and yawned. "Sleepy."

"I should probably go," Matt said. "Night Kurt."

"Me too," Kurt said.

"Huh?" Matt asked, bending down to press a kiss on his lips.

"In love. With you."

Matt brushed a few errant strands of hair out of Kurt's face. "See you tomorrow, Kurt."

Kurt didn't answer. His eyes were closed again.

Matt knew he should feel terrible, and he still felt incredibly guilty for what had happened that night, but this? This made up for all of it.


	31. Chapter 31

Matt drove home in such a haze that he was glad there weren't any cops on the road, because he was pretty sure they would've pulled him over for almost hitting a stop sign.

He was in love with Kurt.

And Kurt was in love with him back.

It was probably the drugs talking. It could've been a dream that Matt was going to wake up from at any moment, but as elated as he was, he was too scared out of his mind for it to be real.

He was scared mostly because he had no idea what this _meant_.

There was hand-holding in the hallway and dinner at Breadstix. There were movies and incredibly hot make-out sessions and even hotter sex and he didn't have to hide anymore. THAT was something to look forward to.

But what was going to happen at school tomorrow now that the cat was out of the bag?

More importantly, what was going to happen at home?

He wasn't looking forward to telling his mother that he had a boyfriend now. He didn't expect them to actually be happy for him, but at least maybe they could be _tolerant_. That was the best he could hope for.

And if they couldn't even be tolerant? What would he do then?

Matt sighed as he pulled into his driveway. There was at least Mike a few doors down and Mrs. Chang was really awesome, but he also knew that wouldn't be a permanent solution if it came down to it. In times like these, you needed family, and unfortunately, with the rest of the family being raised Catholic, they all had the same opinion about Matt's lifestyle as his mother.

But then there was Aunt Cam. Aunt Cam lived in Columbus with Marlie, her partner of twenty-five years. She always sent the best Christmas presents. Aunt Cam was kind of an outsider in the family and his mother barely tolerated her _especially_ if Marlie showed up at family gatherings, but he and Aunt Cam had always had a close relationship, and Marlie was cool too. She had an awesome taste in movies and could've totally kicked anyone's ass on the McKinley's basketball team at H-O-R-S-E.

The first time he said the phrase 'I'm gay' was to his Aunt Cam. She was the one who helped him actually made the decision to tell his parents in the first place. Regardless of what went down tonight, she was definitely getting a call tomorrow, but for now, the future could wait.

All the lights were off in the house except a dim one coming from he great-room. He knew his mother had his father on a short leash and wouldn't have much to say about the situation one way or another. Whatever she thought, he'd go along with it.

"Matthew?" his mother's voice came from somewhere in the dark.

He jumped and winced at the expression on her face when he turned on the light. She wasn't happy. He was probably grounded for life, and he probably deserved whatever punishment she chose to dish out, and she was going to ask what he was doing out so late. Matt didn't know whether he was glad he'd already lived through coming out to his parents once before or not. Matt sometimes got the feeling his mother was content to just pretend she didn't hear it. He knew there were parents in the world…parents like Kurt's dad, who loved their kids no matter what, who accepted them as they were.

That, however, was not his parents. Not in the slightest.

His Catholic upbringing ensured that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what his parents would think of his current relationship; that it was an abomination.

"It's almost midnight. On _a schoolnight_, no less," she informed him needlessly. "You know the rules."

"_Lo siento_, Mama," Matt said. "A friend…" he paused, took a deep breath and shook his head. "No. I've been lying long enough, and it already hurt enough people. I can't do that anymore. My _boyfriend_ almost died tonight and I had to see him. I would've called but…"

"Boyfriend!" His mother squawked, blinking in confusion. "Matthew James Rutherford, tell me I didn't just hear you say that."

"I told you the truth. You didn't want to believe it. You pretended I hadn't said anything."

"It's a phase, Matthew! You're just confused and you've got it in your head that's what you want, but it's just not true. My son is NOT gay."

"It's not a phase," Matt answered, looking down at the ground.

"Is that so?" she said, standing up to her full height, fixing him with an icy glare. She was a petit woman, but somehow Matt always felt like he was two feet tall when she wanted to intimidate him. "Well, I know one thing for certain, Matthew. You're quitting Glee. That club has been nothing but a bad influence on you, and you need to get your head on straight. It's time to get serious about the things that will help you in life. Concentrate on Football…"

"Mom, our team won exactly one game last year." 'And being around sweaty, half-naked guys in a locker-room in tight pants is OH SO conducive to being straight,' Matt thought, but bit his tongue.

"Football means scholarships! You can go to a real school. You can go on to do something important with your life. It's time for you to grow up, Matthew, and decide how you're going to make your mark in the world."

"I can make my mark in the world and still be gay, Mama. I can still…"

"Name me one gay person who is taken seriously in this world. One! You are setting yourself up for so much pain and sadness and all I want for you is to do better than I have. If you're gay, that makes it _that_ much harder to get ahead in the world."

"I know you're angry right now and I'm sorry…but…"

"I am not listening to another word! You are marching yourself up to your room. I will call Mr. Schuester myself in the morning and inform him that you are quitting, and you will come straight home from football practice tomorrow. Are we clear?"

Matt nodded. '_Yeah, crystal,' _he mumbled as soon as he made it to the safety of his room. He packed a few clothes in his duffle-bag and texted Mike.

**Shit hit the fan tonight. Can I crash at your place? **

He snuck out the window down the drainpipe and two minutes later was knocking on Mike's door.

"Kurt's going to be fine. They'll probably send him home tomorrow," Mike said in lieu of a hello.

"Yeah, that's what Finn said. I also know that's not why you're here. What happened?"

"I told my mom."

"Didn't you tell her you were gay before you told me?"

"Yeah…but I've always thought she pretended she didn't hear it, and tonight, I got my proof. She thinks I'm just confused, that it's just a phase. Mike…it's...I don't…"

"Hey…" Mike said, pulling him into a hug. "It's gonna be okay. In the meantime, you know Mom likes you better than she likes me, so I think she's pretty much going to insist that you stay here as long as you need."

Matt shook his head. "I appreciate the offer…but…I really don't want to freeload off your family."

"Matt, Bro, wake up, man! You ARE family. And like hell you're going to be freeloading. You know Mom's totally going to use you for manual labor. You're just in time to plant the garden!"

Matt tried to laugh then, but it just came out as a sob.

Mike just pulled him into a hug. "It'll be okay, man. It'll work out. You're gonna be fine, and I'm here for whatever you need, you got that?"


	32. Chapter 32

Life was falling apart around him, and there was nothing Matt could do but just get through the day.

So far, it was passing uneventfully, although Matt really wished Rachel would stop shooting him sympathetic looks every time she passed by him in the halls.

Matt had largely spent the night listening to his best friend sawing logs in the bed above him. Mike still had bunk-beds despite the fact that he was now a junior in high school, and Matt had slept on the bottom bunk for as long as he'd known his best friend. His feet always dangled off the edge of the bed if he stretched out to his full length and he knew where to step lightly if he had to get up if he didn't want to wake up anyone in the house.

But last night, it was different. It was different because if his mom didn't come around, it was quite possible that he might be staying permanently.

And college! That was a year away, and if he didn't have his parents to help him out financially, there was no way he'd be able to make it work. There were student loans and summer jobs, of course, but that could only take you so far.

He loved Kurt. He knew that much. Despite all the horrible things that happened with his mother, all the worries about what would happen with school, a smile would creep across his face whenever he remembered what had happened in that hospital room.

He barely paid attention in class, but that was okay, because he normally kept quiet and kept his head down, so nobody really seemed to take notice. It wasn't until Mr. Schue asked to speak to him privately in the hallway that he was aware that anything about his life had changed.

"Matt, can you sit down a minute?" Schue asked. 'Oh, so NOW you're was trying to be a competent teacher,' Matt thought wryly, but obliged anyway. "I got an interesting call from your mom today," he began.

He seemed to wait for Matt to say something, but Matt remained silent. "She told me you were quitting Glee," he prompted. "I told her it would be in the club's best interest if you stayed at least until Regionals because we need you to keep up with Mike and Brittany with the dancing, but she said it wasn't possible. If you want to quit, Matt, that's up to you. But I get the distinct impression that it wasn't your decision to make."

"Not exactly, Mr. Schue," Matt said.

"Why is your mom suddenly so concerned about you being in Glee? She hasn't had a problem with the club before, has she?"

Matt shook his head. "No. Not really. But she thinks it's time for me to get serious and grow up and concentrate on things that matter, and I'll get scholarship if I can concentrate on football."

"You know you can get a scholarship for singing and dancing, too? For getting good grades? For being biracial? For being bilingual? There's even a scholarship for being left-handed. There's a whole book of weird scholarships you can get. All you have to do is apply for them. And Matt, I've gotta be honest here, the football team is a joke. Given our record, I don't think any college scout is gonna be coming here to look at any of our players."

"Yeah, but you don't know my mom," Matt answered, shaking his head. "When she's made up her mind about something, there's no changing it. You'd have an easier time getting Brittany to finish the New York Times crossword puzzle. With answers that actually make sense. In Pen."

"Part of growing up is becoming your own person, separate from your parents…doing things your parents don't always agree with. And I'm sorry your mom doesn't approve of glee, but for what it's wroth,_ I _think it's been a good influence on you. You didn't speak two words to anyone but Mike when you first started last year. Now I see you chatting it up with Quinn and Santana and Kurt. You're great with the harmonies, and I'll bet if you got a chance, you'd have a solo if you just went for it. You're just starting to come out of your shell, and I know your mom's important to you…but Matt…you're important to _us_ and with Regionals so close, it'd really put us in a difficult position if you left."

"It's not that I don't want to, Mr. Schue…"

"Come to Glee today," his teacher said. "After that, you can make up your mind and whatever you're decision is, I'll respect it, of course, but I just want to make sure it's _your_ decision and not anyone else's."

Matt nodded and left, waving at Ms. Pillsbury as he left for his next class, but hung back just outside the door as he heard what Ms. Pillsbury was saying.

"Will," Emma said, poking her head in the door. "Kurt's dad is here and Figgins wants you to meet with him in his office. I'm not sure what happened…but…he wasn't at school today, and I think this has to do with the reason why."

"Is Kurt okay?" Will asked. Matt held his breath.

"He's fine, but there's a situation that's come up." There was a pause. "I think you'd better come with me."

Matt felt a hand on his shoulder. "Think about what I said, okay?"

Matt nodded. He would go to the practice today. After all, what his mother didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

It would be his last meeting.

He knew Mr. Schue would be disappointed with him, and he really didn't want to let anyone down. He knew Mike would probably disown him as best friend for quitting Glee, and Finn, even for some odd reason, even Puck, who last year had mistaking Neil Diamond as bad-ass. Mike would forgive him eventually, and Puck and Finn would pretend to not care…but the one it would hurt Kurt the most was Kurt, and he didn't know how he was going to handle that. Just because Matt was quitting Glee, though it didn't mean he was quitting _him_. Not after he'd finally got his head out of his ass and realized what really mattered.

He would go to the practice today. After all, what his mother didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

He would go and sit through another practice of Rachel belting out some boring-ass show-tune. He would put up with another mediocre rendition of whatever 80s hair band Finn was particularly inspired by. He would inwardly side-eye Artie's attempts at being Ghetto, tolerate Santana's bitch-tastic comments, Brittany's stupid-ass remarks, and Quinn's bitchy attitude (which frankly he thought she would've dropped since she couldn't blame anything on pregnancy hormones anymore). He would hang back with Mike and watch as everyone laugh and cut lose and do something just for the _fun _and the _joy_ of it for once.

But it would be his last meeting.


	33. Chapter 33

It was pouring rain outside when he woke up, and his father was holding his hand.

"How you feelin' kiddo?"

"You're here," Kurt mumbled.

"You're my boy. Where else would I be?"

"Thought you were mad at me," Kurt said sleepily.

"No, not mad. I just don't …didn't… understand. You wouldn't tell me _why_, and that's just not something I'm used to. But I think I get it now. You were protecting someone you care about, and I'm not thrilled with how you went about it, but I do get it."

"Shouldn't you be at the shop?"

"I got Andy lookin' after things for me today. Right now I've got more important things to worry about."

"Dad, you can't take off a whole day from the shop! You've got inventory coming in today, and it's backed up as it is!"

"So, you can help me out with that on the weekend if you're feelin' up to it. But the doctor said last night you're probably going home today, and I can't leave you by yourself right now."

"I don't need a babysitter, Dad. I'm fine."

"Like hell you are, Kurt! How am I supposed to trust you by yourself? I am NOT getting another call like the one I got last night, understood?"

"I don't want to die, Dad," Kurt said, so softly that Burt almost didn't hear him.

Burt squeezed his hand. "Good to know. I'm still staying home with you today while you're at school."

"It really _was_ an accident," Kurt said after a long while.

Burt let out a long sigh. "I don't suppose there's any chance you could fill me in now, is there? Matt kind of clued me in on part of it, but…"

"Wait, you talked to Matt?"

Burt nodded. "Yeah. Last night. Seems like a nice guy. Also seems like he cares about you a lot. From what I could tell, it seems like he was the one you were protecting. Am I right?"

Kurt nodded. "I'm so, so sorry Dad…" he said sniffle. "I swear I never meant…"

"Hey, I know that now. But Kurt… if it gets bad… with your anxiety, with school with _anything_ I want to know about it, understood? You think you're protecting me keeping stuff from me but you just can't keep everything all bottled up."

"Pot, say hello to Kettle," Kurt said with a half-laugh, half-sniffle.

"Point taken," Burt said with a wry grin. He got up and hugged his son as tightly as he dared. "I'm gonna see if I can track down your doctor, ask him about springin' you from this joint. How does that sound?"

"Hey, Dad?" Kurt asked. "Think Matt can come for Friday Night Dinner sometime soon?'

"He's welcome at the house any time he wants, kid," Burt said, and left to go find the doctor.

* * *

It was finally time for Glee, and nobody, it seemed, had gotten much sleep the night before. They were all dragging their feet and looking like they could use a nap. Even Rachel, and that was a definite first. Matt would never admit it to anyone but Mike, but usually it was his favorite time of day. Today, though, he'd been dreading coming to practice for so _many _reasons, but this one, with everyone giving him the same look Rachel had been giving him all day at once…wasn't the funnest thing ever.

Matt just wasn't Drama Guy. Finn, Puck and Kurt were the guys in the club who usually got all the attention, and he liked it that way, but now, all eyes were on him, and he hated it.

"I just got a text from Mom," Finn announced with a huge yawn. "They let Kurt go home this morning and she says we can visit later after school if he's up to it."

"How are you holding up, Matt?" Quinn asked.

"I'm FINE!" Matt snapped. "Could we all just please continue with business as usual as much as possible? If everyone could just please stop with those _looks_ and stop asking if everything's okay because everything's fine, that'd be _awesome_."

"I actually briefly considered skipping rehearsal today," Rachel said as she laid her head on Finn's shoulder as soon as he sat down. "I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. But then I realized…if I were, say, Quinn or Brittany, it would be a non-issue, but there are no understudies here and if I don't show up, what exactly are would you _do_ all practice?"

"Oh, I don't know," Quinn said with an evil smile. "I'm sure we could come up with _some _way to entertain ourselves."

"Yeah, well, for someone doing so 'fine' you sure are bad about forgetting to change clothes," Puck said. "What? Did you get some at the hospital last night?"

Matt wasn't one to usually fly off the handle. He'd never really gotten into a fistfight in his life until recently, and he certainly wasn't usually stupid enough to blow up at someone like Puck, but he would blame what he did next on stress and frustration and sleep depravation later.

He stepped right up to Puck and punched him square in the nose.

"Matt, Dude! Not cool!" Finn said.

Mike had to wrench him away.

"Look," Puck said while Rachel handed Finn a tissue for the blood that was now streaming down his nose. "I doe you're goig thoo a lot right dow, but dot the face, bad! Dot the face!"

"I slept in my clothes last night because I had to spend the night at Mike's place," Matt said. "I had to spend the night at Mike's place because I told my mom about Kurt and me. And she doesn't…she wants…"

"So you're going to break up with Kurt?" Mercedes asked. "After everything, after all he just went through you're just going to break his heart like that? Just…WHAT?"

"No. I don't think so. I mean, I don't want…but…my mom…when I told her last night, she doesn't…" He sucked in a deep breath. "She wants me to quit Glee. I'm gonna see if I can move in with an aunt in Columbus. She thinks it's been a bad influence on me. I don't know what I'm going to do…" he finally said, letting out a sob.

"Matt," Rachel said. "You're not quitting. We're not giving you up so easily."


End file.
